A Different Love {Redman} {bd inc mF reluc}
(c) October 2000
Authors Note: I would be interested in any comments or
corrections that readers might care to share with me. I
can be reached at redman@seductive.com.
Also, this work is not intended to be read by minors.
If you are not legally an adult in your country or
culture, please do not read it. This is a work of
fiction. Everything in it is a product of my own
imagination and does not represent the way that anyone
of any age should be treated or to represent a norm of
acceptable behavior. In particular, I do not through
this condone sexual acts between minors and
adults.
A Different Love
I tightened the ropes on mother's wrist, once again
thankful that she slept so soundly. Controlling her
arms was the most important thing. I watched her eyes
carefully as I looped the rope around her right ankle
and as it went around, her eyelids fluttered. There was
no sense risking more. I would only get one chance to
do this properly. With a gentle but firm pull on all
three ropes her limbs were stretched to three of the
corners of the bed.
As I tied off her arms, began protesting. She
ordered me to release her. It was the first order
mother had given me in six years. I ignored it,
securing her arms, and then placed the strip of tape
over her mouth, despite all her attempts to avoid it.
Her leg had become loose, but was easily recaptured.
The second leg completed my initial task.
I looked down on my prize. It was the first time I had
ever bound a woman. The knots looked serviceable. I had
done it thousands of times in my head.
Tomorrow was my sixteenth birthday. My was the
only person who had ever loved me, the only person I
had ever loved. I might be destroying that love. I
hoped that I wasn't. In any case, the new course of my
life, of our lives, was now irrevocably altered.
"Calm down, mother," I said as gently as possible. "I
don't want to scare you any more. It must be
frightening to wake up bound to your bed with someone
standing over you." I sat on the bed, stroking her
hair, neck and face softly. "I haven't gone crazy.
You're going to be safe."
"I'm still your son and I love you more than I've ever
loved anyone or anything. I would never want to do
anything to harm you, mother."
"Tomorrow is my birthday. I saw the cake you bought:
the same one we always share to celebrate my birthday.
But this year is special to me. The rituals you
shared with your little won't do anymore, mother.
This year I have to take control of my own life. This
year, your son becomes a man."
"I know you've done the best you can do. I've seen you
struggle to make as good a life for us as you can. It
hasn't been easy raising a child by yourself. I've
tried to help and I know you love me, but mother, our
lives have to change. You're a wonderful person, but
you're too disorganized. Our lives are chaos because
you make every decision at the last moment, never
knowing from one moment to the next what you'll do.
"I can't live like that anymore, mother. I have to have
more control. I have to do this, even if you end up
hating me. I hope you don't. It's Friday evening.
Before this weekend is over, you may hate me more than
any person you've ever known. I hope that's not the
case. I want you to love me, but it will have to be
another kind of love from now on. It will have to be a
different love, maybe even a strange love."
I began to slowly unbutton my mother's blouse. Her eyes
began to fill with panic again, so I kept my voice
gentle, trying to allay her fears.
"Mother, I'm going to try to explain to you something
that you've never understood about me. It's something I
realized a long time ago. You've always known I was an
organized person. You've depended on me to cook and
clean and organize our lives to what little degree they
are right now. I mean, what other fifteen year pays
the bills so that the checks arrive on time?"
Her blouse was fully unbuttoned so I softly stroked her
belly with my right hand, spreading the blouse out to
reveal as much of her pale flesh as I could.
"When I started studying psychology, I thought I might
have a compulsive disorder. But I know that I don't
have any compulsion to do these things. I can control
them. In fact, with me it's all about control."
I unzipped her pants, spreading them to uncover even
more of her stomach to my caress.
"What you may not know is that I've always had a
desire to dominate people. I've always wanted to be in
charge. Ever since puberty I've wanted to dominate
women. All through classes at school, I imagine tying
up my teachers and the that sit next to me. In my
mind, I would explore their bodies in wonderful ways. I
wanted to show them such pleasures."
I reached under with both my hands on either
side of her, briefly hovering over her body, and
unsnapped her brassiere. While I couldn't pull it off,
I was able to push it forward and expose her breasts.
Mother's were more beautiful than I had
expected. They were about the size of a small
grapefruit cut in half and her nipples were a dark
brown color. The aureole was a much lighter shade and
circled in a band about three quarters of an inch wide.
I had never seen a woman's before, but these
looked soft and inviting. I looked at them far too
long, loosing control for just a moment.
I shook my head, clearing it. "But more than teachers
or classmates or anyone else, mother, I've dreamed of
dominating you. When I make your breakfast every
morning, I dream of feeding you from my fingers in
little bites, pressing each morsel in your mouth while
you worship me at my feet. There are hundreds of ways
that in my mind I have tied you to tables and chairs,
caressing your body and making love to you. "
"Mother, my desire for you is more than I can bear
alone. If I keep it bottled up inside anymore, I'll
explode one day, probably destroying us both. I'm
asking you to help me to control it. I need your help,
mother. I need your help to control my desires."
I think I was getting through to her a bit. She was
still afraid, but the panic was retreating. Perhaps a
person simply can't stay panicked any longer than she
had. Even as I raised up off the bed and began to
remove my clothes, she didn't panic anymore. I tried to
stay out of her line of sight, but even to my ears the
sounds of my disrobing were harsh and loud.
"I'm not going to rape you, mother. At least, I don't
want to rape you. It's my hope that by the end of this
weekend, you'll give yourself to me. I want to make
love to you. I want it desperately, so desperately that
I'm willing to risk alienating the only person who's
ever loved me."
I knelt beside the bed, still trying to keep my body
from her view for fear of frightening her more. I
untied her right arm and, holding the wrist firmly,
pulled off her blouse and the bra off of her arm. She
struggled against me, but her struggling was neither
fitful nor angry. She simply resisted with all her
strength, a steady, firm resistance.
But I'm big for my age. I'm bigger and stronger than
mother.
"Can I tell you what I've concluded about you while I
take off the rest of your clothes? Mother, you're a
good person, but you have a knack for being attracted
to the wrong man. I'm not being critical, even you've
joked about being a magnet for losers. You've always
gone for the strong, macho type, haven't you? The
bigger the guy, the rougher he treated you, the better
you liked it. Didn't you?"
"I heard you some nights, I know you tried to be quiet.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, not between you and
I. I've heard you with and I've seen the way you
like to be treated."
I untied mother's left arm and removed her blouse and
bra completely, leaving her naked from the waist.
"You're a very submissive woman, mother. You need a
that will dominate you, a that's stronger than you
are. That doesn't make you a weak person or a bad
person. But you choose who dominate you through
their cruelty, through hate."
After I tied her arm down again I sat on the bed next
to her. finally realized that I was naked, the
length of my left thigh rested along the left side of
her body. As I looked into her eyes, I could see her
apprehension. She probably thought I was going to
violate her immediately. I had thought about this a
long time. We had all weekend together. I would try to
be patient.
"Mother, I need to ask you some questions now. I know
you're afraid. Just try to nod yes or no, please. Do
you need to go to the bathroom?"
Her eyes widened, afraid of what might happen if she
nodded yes. She shook her head firmly no.
"Mother, we have all weekend. You're going to have to
go to the bathroom at some point, dear. In the morning,
we'll have to take a shower and we'll be doing that
together. There's no reason for you to be more
distressed than you already are. If you need to urinate
or defecate, I won't abuse you or do anything weird or
kinky when you do. Do you understand?"
I had debated whether to use the words "piss or shit"
with mother, but I had decided that these words might
panic her even more. In any case she nodded somewhat to
my question, though I doubted whether she truly
believed that I would not abuse my control of her body
at this point.
"Now I want you to think, mother. Other than being
afraid, other than being tied up and frightened, are
you in any pain or is there anything else that is
making you uncomfortable that I can rectify?"
I saw her mind began to work behind her eyes. I doubted
she was in pain. The soft ropes I had used had been
tested thoroughly. I had tied up my own legs much
tighter and left them tied all night without damage to
the skin. I was worried that she might be excessively
thirsty or have an itch somewhere that might be
distracting her. But I could see that she was trying to
think of some way to appeal to me to untie her or at
the least to remove the tape.
"I'll remove the tape soon, mother. You'll have to
promise me that you won't scream or bite, but I don't
intend to keep you mouth taped up all weekend. I
promise you that before I do anything other than touch
you like I'm doing now, you'll have a chance to talk me
out of it. But mother, I won't be talked out of this.
Now again, are you in pain, are you thirsty, are you
hurting?"
Her eyes were teary and her mournful expression almost
touched my heart, but she shook her head no.
"Now, one last thing, mother. I'm about to untie your
legs for a while. I have to remove your pants. I know.
I know you don't want me to remove them, but I'm going
to do it. Now you can kick and squirm, but even if I
have to sit on you, I'll get them off. I'll cut them
off with scissors if I have to."
"I'll make you another promise though. What I would
prefer to happen is that you let me take your pants off
without fighting me. If you do that, I'll leave your
legs untied for now. The only reason I've tied your
legs is so you won't be kicking and thrashing. Do you
understand?"
She nodded that she did.
"Will you promise not to kick or flail?"
Her eyes were pleading with me, but I refused to give
an inch with my expression. Reluctantly, my
acceded to my bargain. That was an important milestone.
There was at least hope that she would give me more
concessions later.
I untied her legs one at a time and true to her word
she did not kick at me or fidget excessively. She did
press them together and as I rose to place my hands at
her waist, I saw that she squeezed them together even
tighter. I gathered the sides of her pants and
together, making it obvious to her that they both would
come off. I had no desire to surprise her more and no
delusions that removing them was titillating in any
fashion.
"Mother I know you didn't promise to open your legs so
I could strip you easily, but if you keep your legs so
tightly closed it may when I pull them off."
I suppose the gentleness of my words had some effect
because she relaxed her legs enough for me to work her
pants off, albeit clumsily. When I got the pants off
she began to squirm about, trying desperately to find
some means to cover herself from my view.
But I had learned my lesson when I had uncovered her
breast and could only stare at them fascinated. I let
my see that I wouldn't gawk at her now. Instead,
I folded her pants slowly and then came back to sit
beside her.
The physical task of stripping my of her clothes
was accomplished. The psychological task of stripping
my of her reluctance now began.
"See, mother? The ceiling hasn't fallen in on us. Look
into my eyes. I'm still the same. You're still the
same. I'm still your son and I love you. You're still
my and I hope that you still love me."
"You're a beautiful woman, mother. There's no woman
that I've ever seen that was more beautiful to me than
you."
"I know you enjoy sex, mother. I've heard you with
other and I've heard you whimpering in the morning
as you pleasured yourself. I've smelled your sheets
while you're in the shower and I know that if I wake
you up early enough, you'll finger yourself every
morning."
"You need a man, mother. I need a woman. You love me;
at least you loved me as a son, even this morning. I
know I love you. I love you even more now than I ever
have. Being in control of you like this, it makes me
want to love you and protect you for the rest of our
lives."
"Who can tell us that we can't find our pleasure in
each other? Who can say we shouldn't be together?
Society? Society is more fucked up than you or I would
ever be. Some ancient moral code? Forget that! Love is
stronger than moral codes, mother. If moral code or law
or anything else stands between me and you, then I'll
defy them all!"
But I was loosing control again. I had to force myself
to breathe.
"Now, I want to let you talk, mother. I want to take
the tape off of your mouth, but before I do that, I
have to touch you first. I wish I could control myself
more, but I'm still and I'm new at this. My hands
are itching to touch you right now. I can smell your
body from here and it's intoxicating me. I promise to
try not to overly excite you. I think if I do it now, I
can control my urges. If I wait too much longer, until
after you have a chance to talk, I can't make that
promise. Just let me do this now, and then you can
speak."
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my breathing and
my racing heart. My penis was rigid and my body was
excited. Even more than the physical tension, though,
my mind was racing with a million thoughts. This moment
would begin my work of convincing my to become
my lover.
I began with her head, stroking her hair and rubbing
her temples softly. I caressed her ears and felt the
line of her jaw. I touched the front of her neck
lightly with my full hand and then drug it to the back
of her slender neck, tickling the hair of the nape
lightly. I bent over and softly kissed my mother's
mouth through the plastic tape.
I felt each hand and wrist, checking not only the
tension of the rope but to see if it was biting her
skin excessively. Underneath the rope, the skin was
tender, but not yet raw. Because I had stretched her so
tightly, there was not enough play for her to flail. I
could detect no rope burns. I continued down her arm
and felt the tension in her muscles and the slight
roughness of her elbow. If I succeeded in winning her,
I decided right then to make her use a lotion on them
every night.
When I got to the end of her arm, I bent down lower and
smelled the rich, loamy fragrance of her underarm. I
nuzzled it and drug my face across her chest, carefully
avoiding the sensitive tissue.
I sat up for a moment, not trusting myself to proceed
too quickly, and took another deep, cleansing breath.
Then, looking firmly in the eye, I lightly
cupped both to the palms of my hand. Her
breathing was raged and shallow. Her nipples lay at the
joint of my finger and palm. As I held my hands on
them, they both began to harden ever so slightly.
I drew my hands down her body lightly, brushing her
breasts with my fingertips and then began to stroke her
slender belly. had a thin frame without being
skinny, but the tone of her muscles was not firm. She
was soft, which felt lovely for now, but I decided that
she would join me in my daily exercises when she was
mine. I loved her body as it was, but I wanted her to
be healthy and vigorous all her life. I thought of all
these things as I rubbed my cheeks across her stomach
and pressed the lance of my tongue into her
bellybutton.
I traced down the outside of her hips and then each
pelvic ridge, making love to their tilt and texture
with my hands. I combed her pubic hair with my fingers
and tried to decide how I would shape and trim it.
Mother had again tightened her legs maniacally, so I
avoided her concerns briefly by sitting on the end of
the bed and placing both feet in my lap. Her feet were
in atrocious condition. She had dry skin and calluses
and had probably never had a pedicure in her life. I'd
decide later how to make her care for them. What did I
know about woman's feet? Just another thing I had to
learn. Even so, I found them intriguing because I had
never touched her feet before.
I ran my hands lightly over her calves and thighs. They
were tense and I could sense a little of the panic
returning to her eyes. I had not parted her thighs yet,
but touching her from head to toe had calmed my nerves.
More importantly, it had firmed my resolve. With the
smell of her on my hands, with the scent of her in my
nose, I was free to remove the tape from her mouth.
I stepped off the bed and moved up around to my
mother's right side. I sat beside her, again pressing
my thigh all along the length of her chest.
"OK, mother. You've done very well so far. You promised
not to fight me with your legs and you did that. I'm
going to remove the tape now. I'm willing to let you
say as much as you need to say. But I don't want to
deceive you, mother. I won't be talked out of this. It
won't do you any good to order me to release you or beg
to be spared. I love you and I know this is for both of
our good."
"Let me just say one last thing more before I remove
it. I won't make you promise not to yell. You might not
be able to help it. I know I've frightened you and I
don't want to force you into a position of lying to me.
But, mother, if you yell and try to attract the
neighbors, I'll have to put the tape back over your
mouth. Just think about that. You don't want to spend
this whole weekend with tape on your mouth. I don't
want that either."
"So, I want you to think about it. If you can keep from
yelling, if you can talk to me in a normal tone, we'll
both get at least a little of what we want. This might
hurt when I pull the tape off now. I'll try to be
gentle"
The tape didn't come off her mouth easily. I refused to
yank it off, because her skin was tender. So I eased it
off, trying to minimize her discomfort. She flexed her
jaw a moment in silence, the tears forming in her eyes.
"Jimmy, you can't do this. It isn't right. Please let
me up right now and we'll forget about this. Please,
Jimmy!"
She was so lovely, pleading with me. I wanted to give
her everything, but I knew that I couldn't this time.
"Can you forget that I've seen you naked, Mother? Or
forget seeing me? Can you forget that I've touched your
breasts and tasted your belly? I'll never forget it.
Not if I live forever. I don't want to forget. I
couldn't forget how beautiful you are."
"I'm not beautiful, Jimmy. I'm just your mother. Every
boy thinks his is pretty. It's OK to think that
way. That's normal, but you can't do this."
"I can do it, mother. I have done it. I don't care if
it isn't normal. I don't even like normal people, do
you?"
"Of course you do, Jimmy. You don't want people to
think we're sick or deviant. You don't want to have to
hide who you are."
"Mother, I don't care what other people think. Who I am
is a that thinks about tying women up all day
and dominating them. Who I am is a that wanted to
tie his up and fuck her since he was twelve."
"Don't talk like that, Jimmy. That's vulgar. You don't
think like that."
"Mother, we're naked in your bed and you're tied down
to it. I'd think it's pretty obvious that this is
exactly how I think."
"This is just. just a mistake. Just an aberration. As
soon as you start dating your own age, you'll
forget all about this. Now untie me, please."
"It's not a mistake, mother. I started planning this
last year. Last year you gave me a cake on my birthday
and all I could think about was tying you down on the
kitchen table and eating the cake off your belly. I
wanted to smear your with icing and lick them
off. I wanted to put the candle in your and."
"Jimmy stop! I don't want to hear any more. I can't
hear any more."
"I know, mother. I didn't think I was going to be able
to convince you with words."
"What do you mean, Jimmy? What are you going to do?"
"Your mind won't listen to me yet, mother, but I hope
your body will. I'm going to convince your body that
this is right, that we're right for each other."
"You can't rape your own mother, Jimmy! You'd never
forgive yourself."
"I don't need forgiveness, mother. I know this is right
for me. I believe this is right for you. But you're
right in one way. I don't want to rape you. Give
yourself to me, instead!"
"I can't do that, Jimmy. I'm your mother. It isn't
right."
I put my finger across my mother's mouth silencing her.
Her lips felt hot against my flesh.
"This is not something I can stop. I have to go
forward. Come with me and I'll try to make you happy."
Mother just shook her head and looked away from me,
sobbing. I felt sorry that I couldn't convince her yet,
but I had never expected that I could.
"Mother, I'm going to touch you again. I'm going to try
to convince you with my hands and my mouth. I know
you're not agreeing to this. I know this is already
legally rape. It has been since I took your clothes.
But I'm not going to use my penis yet. I'm going to
make love to you with my fingers and my tongue. Do you
understand?"
"Jimmy, you can't!"
"I can, mother. The question is, can I do it without
you screaming? Do I have to put the tape back over your
mouth?"
"NO, please. Don't use the tape. I'll be quiet. Please
Jimmy, don't do this."
"Mother, I'm sorry I haven't convinced you yet. I have
to do this." I allowed myself a small smile. "You don't
have to be completely quiet, you know. I've heard you
at night."
She blushed and hid her face from me.
"I love you, mother. I always will."
I crawled on the bed with my and pressed my
cheek against her diaphragm, hugging her lower body to
me. Her stomach rose and fell to the pattern of her
sobbing. I held her for a long while, my penis pressing
against the flesh of her thigh. I considered where I
should start with her. Should I begin with her face,
her or between her legs? I wished I had more
experience with women. Maybe if I knew what she needed,
I could convince her more easily.
But, I couldn't know what she needed. I could only know
what I needed. At the moment, I wanted to kiss her. So,
I'd start with her face.
I rose above mother. Her sobbing paused as she waited
to find out what I would do. She gasped as I threw my
leg over her body, was startled as I straddled her
frame. I placed my hands on either side of her face and
bent down to kiss her on the mouth.
Mother tightened her lips, refusing to part them for
me. Instead I kissed them chastely, then began to taste
the exterior of her mouth with my tongue. I licked the
line of her lips, trying to part them with delicate
pressure. I began to rub her temples with my thumbs and
her ears with my fingers. When her lips wouldn't part,
I turned her head slightly and kissed her cheeks
lovingly, tasting her tears. They were so sweet that I
followed their course to her closed eyes and kissed
each eyelid with the lightest pressure.
I tried to kiss her mouth again and her lips parted
ever so slightly. Her jaw was clenched, however, so
even past her lips, my tongue was stopped at her teeth.
Even so, I could kiss each full lip separately and
nibble on them, causing her breathing quicken even
faster.
I retreated from her mouth for the moment and slid down
to kiss and caress her neck and shoulders. Her ears
were so inviting that I reached and took one lobe
between my teeth, nipping it softly. Then I ran my
tongue behind the ear, quick and darting. When that
drew a gasp, I turned her head and traced my tongue all
along the curve of her ear, flicking it purposefully
inside, tasting the canal.
Mother moaned, sought to move away, so I held her down
and used the flat of my tongue to fuck in and out of
her ear. Her back was arched and I could feel the
strain on her arms and shoulders. I held her jaw and
pumped her sensitive ears for a long moment until it
seemed like she couldn't stand it. When I released her
jaw, her faced snapped around, freeing her ear from my
tongue, but exposing her mouth.
My tongue speared her quickly, penetrating like a
lance. Her eyes flew open as our tongues met and she
inhaled deeply, preparing to scream. My body felt the
movement though and instinctively pressed down against
her belly with the hot shaft of my penis.
Mother was so startled by my actions, so overwhelmed by
the sensations on her body, her eyes flew up and down
in shock, her mouth open and gasping. I took advantage
of her state completely, exploring the inside of her
mouth with my tongue, tasting her gasping breath.
Instinctively, her lips closed on mine, her tongue rose
to meet my own for an instant. They danced together in
her mouth briefly and then realized that her
lips and tongue had betrayed her. Her eyes flew open
and she drew back, closing her jaw shut behind her.
But I had won a small victory. I pressed for more.
I quickly slid down to her and cupped them,
dragging a nipple to my lips. gasped again and
her body arched toward me again. My hands retreated and
my fingers danced up her sides until I could firmly
grasp just under her arms, all the while that
sweet nipple. I lightly stroked her underarm, trying
not to tickle her. When her nipple had had enough, my
tongue found its twin and roped it into my mouth. My
hand immediately dropped to cover the deserted breast.
I could have stayed at her for a very long time,
but her legs were thrashing about, trying to unseat me.
I knew if she continued twisting so, the ropes would
burn her wrist, or worse, she might dislocate her
shoulder. So, while her legs were thrashing, I took the
liberty of placing one of my knees between mother's
thighs.
Her thrashing stopped as tried to repel this
invader, but having gained the foothold, I surrendered
her and moved to my last remaining, undiscovered
territory.
It was difficult to pry mother's thighs apart. She was
begging me to cease, but by this time I was lucky to
have the control not to plunge myself right into her. I
forced her legs open and descended onto mother's
with my lips, my tongue spearing her as it had so
recently done her mouth. The moment I tasted her, I
could understand why was struggling so fiercely.
Her was already very wet and as my tongue fucked
her, her groaned filled the room, filled my whole
world.
I have no delusions that I knew what I was doing. No
doubt my movements were clumsy and green. But
was so ready to be taken, so keen for release, that
mere moments between her legs and her thighs were
wrapped tightly around my head in orgasm. Small
rivulets splashed against my eager tongue, lapping her
goodness into me, filling me to overflowing with love
for her.
I was between my mother's legs and she was cumming on
my face. There was nothing I couldn't do. There was
nothing I couldn't accomplish.
* * * * *
Author's note: I would be happy to continue this
as a series if anyone is interest in seeing it
continue. To express yourself, write
redman@seductive.com.
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