A Mother's painful Duty
Part 3
By Cate
When the Spanish maid carried the second suitcase out to Dr Mappamundi's
little car she had a smirk on her face and Emily hated her for it. The
hood of the car was up and the handle on the passenger door was still
broken, so the maid had to lift the bag over the door onto the seat. When
Dr Mappamundi came down the stairs she was wearing no makeup and it was
plain she had been crying again. Shamefacedly, she kissed Emily on the
cheek, then turned to speak to Mrs Armstrong who pointedly ignored her,
turning to arrange the lilies on the massive hall table. Dr Mappamundi's
shoulders slumped in defeat, then she turned and went out to her car.
Before Emily could follow, Mrs Armstrong turned decisively and pushed shut
the massive door, leaving the hall in its usual semi-darkness, only lit by
a stair window. The crackle-surfaced oil paintings retired again into the
gloom and the row of ivory elephants, the colour of decaying teeth, were
still on their long march into the darkness below the stairs. "Thank
goodness," Mrs Armstrong said. " Well, nobody can say I have not done my
best with her."
Dr Mappamundi appeared to have totally forgotten that never
believed herself to be wrong and that when she made her mind up there was
no more to be said. Hysterics and crying were not going to make any
difference. It was worse than when any of the maids had been sacked. At
least none of them had gone so far as to go down on their knees before
Mommy. But that is what Dr Mappamundi had done, pulling despairingly at
Mrs Armstrong's skirt and then had collapsed moaning on the ground until
Mommy had forced her to her feet and given her a stinging slap across her
cheek. Dr Mappamundi's humiliating departure from the house had been
almost as great a shock as her arrival, Emily thought as she followed her
mother up the broad staircase. Outside, the little sportscar had crunched
down the drive with a final, defiant of gravel and an autumn gale
lashed the trees of the driveway. A grim ivory warrior sneered at Emily
from the window embrasure on the stairs.
Emily remembered that warm morning late in the Summer. Dr Mappamundi
had left the top of the little sports car down as it stood on the
gravel overnight. As Emily tried to open the passenger door, Dr Mappamundi
said airily "I think the handle's broken, Emily, just climb over " Emily,
wearing a skirt, did not find this easy and Dr Mappamundi zoomed off,
spraying gravel from the driveway onto the lawn, while Emily still had one
leg hooked over the little door and was trying to arrange her tender bottom
onto the leather bucket seat. In some ways it had been very pleasant
having Dr Mappamundi staying in the house, although Emily found that the
discussions between her and Dr Mappamundi were usually a little
abstruse.. Dr Mappamundi now swung the little car gaily down the wide,
tree lined boulevard, swerved to avoid a refuse lorry, mounted the pavement
for a few yards and demolished a two-year sapling before regaining the
road.
This morning she was wearing a dark suit and a white blouse with
discreet polka dots. Not everyone could wear high heels, but Dr
Mappamundi managed it with aplomb. Emily was surprised her had not
commented, as she would have done with Emily and, after all, Mrs Armstrong
had certainly now placed herself in loco parentis to Dr Mappamundi.
"Emily," Dr Mappamundi said, as she negotiated one of the narrow side
streets near the university, "You're very quiet." "Am I?" Emily said. Dr
Knapp glanced at her quizzically "Did something happen last night?" "Such
as what?" Emily asked. "Oh, come, Emily, don't play the innocent with me."
"I h..heard you and having an argument downstairs," Emily said."I was
in bed, remember..You were discussing...." " Wittegenstein, yes," Dr
Mappamundi said impatiently. ""Of what we do not know, therefore we may
not speak." But we do know what goes on in that house, don't we."
"Did...did spank you," Emily asked. "I heard you cry out." "Yes, I
lost the argument and your spanked me..I have no complaint. I was in
the wrong and she totally demolished my foolish arguments. She "brought me
to book" as she so delightfully puts it." "Dr Mappamundi, believe me truly,
I'm so sorry," Her professor made in impatient gesture as she reversed
awkwardly into a parking spot and helped Emily out the door on the driver's
side, leaving the car at a forty-five degree angle to the kerb. "No,
Emily, I've accepted her right to do that. Don't ask me why. You know we
are both now firmly in her charge. But Emily, please say that's all you
heard.?" "I thought I heard you crying - after went to bed..." "And?"
"And I. ..I came to talk to you." "Oh my God, I knew it," Dr Mappamundi
said. She looked back at the car "Do you think it'll do? Oh, to Hell with
it" She leaned over the car to lift a pile of essays and Emily couldn't
help looking at her shapely bottom which in turn reminded her of the
professor's first visit to the house. "Emily, we can't discuss this
properly now. Let me see, I have a free period at half two - can you come
to my study then?" "I...I don,t really want to talk about it," Emily said.
"Please, Emily," Dr Mappamundi said. "This is monstrously unfair to you. I
really am your friend Emily. Perhaps we can help each other in this."
Emily had one lecture with her friend that morning, but she studiously
avoided eye contact. Dr Mappamundi was less than usually concentrated,
although she could often be lured away from the subject in hand by some of
the more mischievous students, particularly the female ones. A discussion
on Kant and Hegel took a couple of side trips in which Dr Mappamundi's
monthly periods and the merits of waxing rather than shaving one's legs
were elegantly touched upon. Emily's mind was so far astray that she had
later to be recalled twice by the lecturer in her English Literature class.
At the time appointed she tapped rather timidly on the massive oak door of
Dr Mappamundi's study. When bade to enter she found Dr Mappamundi in her
leather armchair, in her feet, one foot balanced on the thigh of
her other leg while she massaged her toes gently. Her discarded shoes
with the four inch heels stood together on the desk on a volume of "De
Summa Theologica." The rest of the desk was covered with files and books
and Dr Mappamundi swept them imperiously to one side. "Emily," she said
gravely, "If you know nothing - fine. However, if you do you must prepare
yourself for anything your may ask you." "But I haven't done
anything wrong," Emily wailed. "I'm not for a moment saying anyone has
done anything wrong, Emily," Dr Mappamundi said in her closely reasoned way
"I do hope you won't think so. However your is quite likely to
punish you severely if she thinks you know anything. She will prove you to
be in the wrong and will not let you jeopardise her position in any way."
"I know," Emily wailed in despair. Dr Mappamundi reached across the desk
and took the girl's hands in hers "Tell me, Emily." "I went into your room
last night. I'm sorry, but you were making a funny noise - I thought I
heard you sobbing." Dr Mappamundi's face was paler than before. "The door
was slightly ajar. I only looked in. And as soon...."Emily began to sob,
"as soon as I s..saw I wasn't...wanted.I...went away." "Emily, to put it
bluntly, you saw your and I... not to put too fine a point on it,
you saw her on top of me, isn't that it?" Emily nodded in dumb misery.
Dr Mappamundi rose and crossed the room gracefully, on the balls of her
feet like a dancer, to collect a coffee percolator and two cups. When she
had poured the coffee she appeared to be considering very carefully what
she was going to say. "Last week, Emily, the first time I came to see your
mother, you heard me beg her for mercy....." Emily nodded. "And you were
there, dear Emily, to witness my humiliation. Somehow...I just about got
through it. And there was a certain perverse..." here Dr Mappamundi broke
off and began biting the knuckle of her left thumb, a characteristic habit
when she was considering a knotty philosophical problem.. "Last night,
Emily, your took me beyond the point of no return. I was frantic,
begging her for clemency but this time I was terrified as well. " Again Dr
Mappamundi was silent, deep in thought. "She made me another of her propositions. But first she questioned me closely." "I don't understand,"
Emily said. "She suspected, well more than suspected, and by judicious
questioning she established to her satisfaction...." here Dr Mappamundi
paused again and made a steeple of her hands as if taking a break for
prayer. She could sometimes be maddeningly slow to come to the point and
was always so conscious of the need for what she called "cogent reasoning"
and "provable propositions" "The fact is, Emily, that she made me admit
what I think she already knew ... that I.. well, I had a...a multiple
orgasm while I was across her knees last week. Please don't look so
shocked, Emily, you know what an orgasm is." Emily nodded dumbly. "I'm not
a lesbian, Emily. I did experiment a little as a student and had a brief
fling with a female lecturer, but then," she shrugged her beautiful
shoulders and spread her hands as if in supplication "doesn't everyone?"
Emily stared at her open-mouthed. "Perhaps not" Dr Mappamundi said.
"Anyway, Emily, I did not initiate anything, so please don't be so cool
towards me. Have you ever succeeded in resisting your mother?" " No, but
this is...such a shock!".." "Emily, how shall I put this? Your is..." "What?" "She is ... not inexperienced." "My God," Emily buried her
head in her hands. Dr Mappamundi had a dreamy look on her face. She
crossed her arms in front of her and appeared to caress her neat in
their warmth. "I have to tell you this, Emily," she said. "Your is
a fabulous lover." Emily stared in disbelief. "A somewhat selfish one,
perhaps," Dr Mappamundi studied her long fingernails for a moment, "
but so superbly sensitive to...to her own needs... goading, spurring on,
as it were... "Dr Mappamundi gulped, ".. that she can drive a lover wild,
yes, wild in simply trying to...to satisfy her desires. The overwhelming
need to...to give her pleasure then becomes one's supreme desire, a desire
that is translated into.... Oh, God!." Dr Mappamundi was for once lost for
words, swallowed and licked her dry lips and appeared embarrassed at the
way her voice had thickened. "So is it..... going to continue?" Emily
asked. Dr Mappamundi thirstily drained the cold dregs of her coffee "If
only it would," she said wistfully, taking her heels from the desk."but
she has given me no indication, in spite of my entreaties, that I may merit
a permanent place in her bed.". Dr Mappamundi crossed her left leg over
her right thigh and slipped on the shoe, then reached for the other one.
"For the past week I have had to behave as I were her wilful daughter. "
She slipped the other shoe on, then stretched out her feet to inspect them.
"Now I fear I may be just her tart!"
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