MY JEAN
BillyG (hayden@mindless.com)
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Chapter 14
The frogs in the pond behind our house were giving up their last cacophony in the early morning light. Dictated by my biologic clock I suppose, I was awake early even though Jean and I had spent an intense little while on the phone with each other late the night before. As was my custom, I sleep in the nude and often awoke with an unconscious "tent pole" under the sheets. With my eyes closed and hands clasped behind my head, I was reviewing the latent imagery of the night before, of the phone sex I'd had with Jean, luxuriating in the deliciousness of it all.
God, I loved that woman! The feeling washed over me with an intensity that left me short of breath. I loved her wit and her spontaneity, her seriousness and gravity, her daffiness and heaven knows, her sensuousness. Yet I was uncertain. We'd agreed not to "do it," but I wasn't at all clear just what that meant. Jean spoke repeatedly of "the thing." Just what *was* the thing anyway? Was it talking about sex? I thought not. Then was it touching? Well, we'd certainly touched on a couple of occasions and neither of us appeared to be troubled, much less traumatized by the experience, so I thought that wasn't it.
If she my dick once, was *that* incest? How about when I fingered her pussy? To climax? Now, was that incest? Shit! I didn't know and it bothered me, a niggling, unresolved burr of an issue.
I don't know about you, but I've got several voices in my head that think they know everything. And they're all loud, even strident. Usually they sit on the head of my bed and start up first thing in the morning. "Oh good, you're awake. Let me tell you a few things." They're rarely kind and understanding; mostly they're full of fear and negativity, except those that are lazy and just want to go to the beach. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a car pool when I'm all alone. I can argue both sides of any given issue and worse, I lose nine times out of ten!
Is it solely the emotional fallout of putting my dick in Jean's pussy? Is that what she's fearful of? Cripes, I've been *there* a hundred times in my mind. I've screwed that so many times in my head, the emotional fallout is mostly that it's *only* been there . . . in my head! Or is it that she's afraid she'll get pregnant? Yeah, that'd be tough. I mean, how many get knocked up by their brother? I'll have to ask her about this, I thought.
In the middle of this intellectual discussion I was having with myself, I was startled when something soft touched my face! My eyes snapped open and saw for a second only a hazy light until I scrabbled away a pair of that'd been dropped across my eyes and nose.
Jean laughed, "Wake up, sleepy head. I promised you these panties." Then looking away in mock embarrassment, she added, "Geez, they're ripe! Hope you *really* wanted em."
I inhaled deeply, pulling the aromatic essence of her into my head and simply said, "YES!" She'd kept her promise.
Nodding toward the tent pole, she asked, "Did I cause that?"
Nodding, "Mostly. I wake up with a woodie every morning," and then looking down at myself in wonder, I added, "but this one is particularly urgent. And yes, I *was* thinking of you . . . of last night . . . of what we did. God, I loved it! I just can't believe the power of phone sex for cryin' out loud!"
Jean smiled and nodded, just looking sat me. The least I could do was return the scrutiny. The morning light was soft, filtering through the giant redwood behind the house, to the east of us and it cast a warm, luminous glow. She was wearing a short wrap-around skirt and a T-shirt that didn't even begin to disguise her prominent nipples. Once again, out of character, Jean wasn't wearing a bra.
Her eyes dropped to the tented sheet and she gestured with an open palm as if to ask, "What, pray tell, is that?"
Then, remembering a little ditty that Jean had read to me years before, I recited,
"The tent pole's up, the canvas is spread. To hell with breakfast, come on back to bed."
She giggled and continued,
"Take the tent pole down, put the canvas away. Monkey had a hemorrhage; there'll be no circus today."
Still chuckling, she said, "Just kidding, just kidding," and sat on the edge of the bed facing me, with one leg bent on the bed and the other on the floor, partly opening her thighs. Of course, my eyes darted right to the darkened space under her short skirt, hoping to see . . . well, anything.
"You never give up, do you? What are expecting to see?"
"Not expecting . . . just hoping."
"Billy, you've seen my legs hundreds and hundreds of times. What's the attraction?"
"Don't really understand it, girl, but it's strong. You thrill me. More and more, you thrill me. I'm just taken with you. You know that!"
Jean placed her hand on the sheet on top of my thigh and said softly, "Yes, Billy, I *do* know that and I want to tell you again, I feel the same way. And I'll tell you this again . . . usually, it's very scary!"
"I've been thinking about that. About why it's scary for you, I mean," letting my hand fall to her left knee. Her skirt had pulled up and open a little and I could see the fine, hairs on her thigh.
She glanced at my hand, smiled and asked, "Tell me, buster. What do you know that I don't? Most of my feelings are just that . . . feelings. Not based on my intellect, just on my gut."
Trailing my finger tips over the inside of her knee, I looked up at her and continued, "Well, I've been trying to define "incest" in the last little while -- an operational definition if you will -- and I've decided that for us, it's not "talking" and it's not "touching" and it's not "sucking." Know what I mean?"
Jean, looking puzzled, slid onto the side of the bed another few inches, opening up her thighs a little more. I looked again. Still too dark, but now more inner thigh visible..
"If you mean that we've done those things and we're still OK, then I *do* know what you mean. But I'm still afraid."
Still trailing my fingertips on the inside of her thigh, I continued, "Yeah. But I think it's not so much what we've done. I don't think it -- that is -- has a lot to do with putting my dick in your pussy."
Jean's eyes widened and her pupils dilated with that phrase. She in her breath but didn't speak. For all her candidness, she remained unaccustomed to such specific and graphic talk.
Again, nudging her thigh to keep her attention, I went on, "No. For us . . . for you . . . isn't about fucking." Again, the little gasp. In a softer voice I added, "I think your fear of is about getting pregnant," and then fell silent.
She exploded, "Cripes, Billy! Pregnant! By you? Where in heck did *that* notion come from? That's silly. That's goofy, you know that?" She barked a nervous laugh and moved her leg again. This time I caught a fleeting glimpse of the crotch of her dark panties. The scent of her used was fresh in my mind and I again experienced a strong urge to bury my head between her legs.
"OK, I know it's goofy, but stay with me a minute. Tell me, IF we actually did it . . . if we actually, you know, fucked . . . how would you feel? Inside, I mean. How'd you feel?"
"Scared. I told you that," she answered, nervously plucking at her skirt, picking it up and then dropping it. I kept my eyes on hers.
"OK, sure," I agreed, "scared but not turned off. Stay with me a little longer. How'd you feel if you got pregnant? By me?" I added pointlessly.
"Devastated. Just devastated . . . I'd simply just die." Then she added with a wry smile, "Aside from from that, fine. Where is this going, anyway?"
"Wanna have kids someday, Jean?"
"You know I do, Billy. SOMEday."
I wiggled down in the bed a little, both to give me a better view under her skirt and that I might be able to reach farther up on her thigh. "Well, that's what I think is going on. It's not us screwing that scares you. It's getting pregnant. One part of you wants to get pregnant . . . someday, and another part of you is frightened, scared witless that it would be ME that did it."
"Let me get this straight . . . let me tell you what I think you've said. You think that it's not the actual, uh . . . doin' it, that I'm afraid of?"
"Right," I assured her, touching the inside of her thigh, well up under her skirt. I wondered if she, like me, had two thoughts running at the same time, one on the topic and the other on touching her?
"That it's getting pregnant by you that I'm really afraid of?"
"Yeah, exactly, Sis. Hell, we've done almost everything and haven't suffered any psychological consequences. Actually, we're closer than ever. We really love and CARE for each other, more now than ever."
Jean smiled and said, "Well, you *may* have something there. It "feels" all right. At least it doesn't feel *bad*. Not right now anyhow."
"Just sit with it, Sis. You don't have to buy it right now . . . or ever. Just let it percolate. We'll talk about it later, OK?"
"Whew! Yes, later," she answered, visibly relaxing. Then, as if noticing for the first time, she stared at the lump of my hand beneath her skirt, creeping toward her body. "Yes?" she asked, lifting one eye brow.
Reaching down with my free hand, I covered hers, still on my thigh, almost touching my cock, and reasoned, "Your fault," nodding to her hand so close to my hardon.
Surprised, she yanked her hand back and exclaimed, "Yikes!" And then, almost as quickly, laughed and ran the palm of her hand up my thigh, again brushing against my erect cock murmuring something like, "Geez, you are *always* horny, aren't you?"
That rhetorical question didn't need an answer. The lawyers have an expression for it, something like "res ipsa loquitur" or "the thing speaks for itself." Instead, I turned my body slightly into her leg, pushing my hard cock to her hand and, at the same time, running my hand up to her crotch. What? No panties! I touched the fur of her sex between the warm softness of her inner thighs, not the crotch of her as I'd anticipated. A thrill shot through me.
Jean suddenly beamed, "That's right, big boy. No panties. I gave them to you. Just *me* there," and she leaned forward, laying her head on my chest, now blatantly holding my cock through the sheet.
"Lie beside me for a moment, won't you Jean?" I asked, making room for her on the bed. I smiled to myself, thinking of the expression that promised, "I'll only put it in a little way."
"Only a moment," she whispered, turning her body and sliding down beside me, one leg thrown over my thigh, opening her crotch to my hand.
I cupped her furry mons softly in one hand while cradling her head with my other, whispering, "Jean, thanks for last night. It was awesome. I can't believe how hot it was, being sexual with you . . . even at long distance."
She ran her hand down my forearm, I thought perhaps to pull my hand from her crotch, but she surprised me. She curved her hand around mine and with her index finger, pushed my middle finger into the pulpy wetness of her slit, arching her pelvis into my hand. Her was sopping and swollen and once again, I experienced the extraordinary thrill of feeling my finger slide into the heat of my sister's cunt.
"Yes, Billy . . . yes. Touch me. Feel me. Feel my wetness." Wiggling closer to me, she continued, "I'm melting inside. This is *so* sweet."
As I slid my finger slowly in and out of her pussy, she rocked her hips against me, still pushing my hand against her sex, now grunting a little with each thrust.
"I wanted this so much last night, Billy. After we hung up, I masturbated . . . it seemed like hours. I came and then came again. I kept coming until . . . I guess I just passed out. God I was horny!"
"Was?"
"*Am*, you jerk! Am horny." And then she murmured something so soft I couldn't make it out.
"What? What'd you say, girl? Can't hear you."
She murmured again, slightly louder but all I could hear was "finger . . . " something or another.
Running my tongue into her ear, I again whispered, "What babe? What'd you say? Tell me what you want. Say it out loud."
Then, as if we were in a crowded room and she wanted only me to hear, she put her hand to her cheek and whispered in my ear, "Finger . . . finger fuck me, Billy. Please, I need it."
"Yes-s-s," I hissed, cupping her sex in the palm of my hand, my middle finger curling up under her pelvic bone, searching for her G-spot.
As she grunted her pleasure, she began writhing on the bed, hunching against my hand, rubbing her body against mine. I could feel the fullness of her as her torso twisted against me. Pulling back to free myself from her leg, I threw my right leg over her body as she turned, first into me and then prone, continuing to hunch against the sheets.
I ran my hand down over her buttocks, catching the hem of her skirt and pulling it up to her waist as she lifted up, freeing the front of it. I palmed her butt in my hand and whispered, "Christ Jean, I love feeling your ass."
"Oh, Billy! Don't stop touching me. I'm so itchy in there. I *need* you there."
Pulling myself up a bit, I ran my hand between her legs from the back, feeling the swollen and open lips. She moaned and pushed her hips back to meet me as I slipped the thumb of my right hand into her pussy, cupping her mons and clit with my fingers, slowly rocking.
"Yes! Right there. Right *there*!" she exclaimed with an explosive deep, grunting voice, with passion.
Pulling her elbows under her, she pushed her chest off the bed as she pulled her knees under her pelvis, assuming a stance of supplication. Now her backside was completely bared, her skirt up over her back and her ass arched high in the air. I kneeled beside her, still holding her in my hand, still fucking her with my thumb.
Her head was down on the sheet, turned toward me but mostly obscured by her hair. She was groaning and murmuring incoherently. I enjoyed the power of making her voice her desire out loud. "What Jean? What do you want? Say the words."
Barely louder and still incoherent, she continued an entreaty in a near sing-song voice, still rocking back against my hand.
"Say it Jean. I want to hear the words."
Throwing her head to toss her hair out of her eyes, she looked at me with eyes almost crazed in passion and said quite distinctly and slowly, "Fuck - me - with - your - hand. Fuck - me - Billy." Then, dropping her forehead to the bed again, she groaned, FUCK ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME."
Driven by my own lust and given approval by the force of her thrusts back against my hand, I picked up the speed and depth of my thumb fucking. With her knees pulled up beside her chest and her back arched, her ass cheeks were full open, exposing her pink bung to my stare.
God! Her ass hole, exposed, open and vulnerable to me! The place I'd dreamed about and had glimpsed just a few times before. I placed the tip of my left index finger right below her anus and then as I continued to thrust my right thumb into her cunt, I ran my left fingertip around the edge of her ass with a feather-light touch, teasing.
Again she groaned, "Billy . . . Billy . . . what are you *doing*?"
Pushing the pulp of my finger tip against her puckered anus, I said, "I'm fucking you, Jean. I'm fucking you and touching your ass hole. Can you feel me?"
She gasped, "I can't believe this. I just can't believe what's happening. I don't even know what I'm feeling, but it's incredible, it's wonderful. Oh, I want it, I* want* it!"
Dropping a dollop of my saliva on her ass hole, I again pushed my finger tip against her sphincter muscle. It resisted for just a little while and then began to soften. My finger tip dilated her ass a fraction. Again, she pushed back against my hand, against my finger.
"Yes, yes, yes . . . whatever you're doing . . . yes!" she chanted into the bed as I fucked her with my fingers, humping myself against her hip. I lost sense of time. The sensations went on an on, building, cresting, overflowing and then she shrieked. No words. Just an explosive shriek. Then she suddenly became still save the shuddering of her body and with another eruptive grunt, she screamed, "Coming . . . coming . . . God, God, God . . . oh shit, shit, shit . . . I'm coming!"
Jean had once told me how hypersensitive her feels after she's had an orgasm, so I had presence of mind to slow down, then stop, but leaving my thumb buried deep in her with my fingertip just nudging into her ass hole. We stayed frozen there, suddenly silent save our gasping for long minutes.
I was aware. In *that* moment, right there, right then, I was aware. I had a startling clarity of us and the moment. I could feel our breathing and our sweaty bodies. I could smell the heady scent of Jean filling the room and my head with her essence. I felt my cock, still hard, pressing against her thigh and the coolness of the morning breeze drying the wetness of our bodies. Me naked, Jean with her skirt pulled up, nude from the waist down and my fingers in her.
Then, I slowly pulled my thumb from her and she gasped, "Oh, no." Pulling her down with her back to me, I curled around her, holding her tight against my chest, by hips against her ass and my legs curled into the crook of her legs. I petted her and I crooned into her hair, Oh, baby . . . that was . . . that was indescribable. I have no words. I simply can't tell you . . . I was just blown away. I love you, babes. I love you more than I can say . . . more than you know." END 14
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