LYMERIC young gal with dildo named

DIRTY LYMERICS. All of these works were found by myself and contributors on bathroom stalls walls. I'm not a pervert that hangs out at stalls. I don't look for glory holes, or anything of the sort. I simply like the meter of the classic lymeric. There Once Was A man From Nantucket Who's Dick was so large he could suckit. As he said with a grin, as he wipped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it. --------------------------------- Little Jack Horner sat in a corner Eating her nice hair pie, He stuck in his thumb, She said, "Are you dumb?, Give me dick if you're ready to try!" --------------------------------- There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, Who had so many children and knew just what to do, She took to the streets, Trading blowjobs for eats, now she's full, and her kids are too! --------------------------------- There once was a girl from Great Britain, With her boobs all the guys they were smitten, She purchased a bra, The lads stared in awe, And said to her, "Babe, those won't fit in!" --------------------------------- A young gal with a dildo, named Jill, Climbed up to the top of a hill, She laid in the grass, And while it tickled her ass, She slid the fake dick all the way in, though! --------------------------------- There once was a man from Belize, His pecker hung down to his knees, The gals all adored it, But him, he abhored it, Because each time it stiffened, he sneezed! --------------------------------- There once was a man from Kubot who lived off of toe jam and snot, when he had none of these, he lived off the cheese, from the tip of his grungy old cock. --------------------------------- There once was a man named Dave, who kept a dead whore in a cave, she had only one tit, and smelled worse than shit, but think of the money Dave saved. --------------------------------- Little Willie Winkle with a thirst for gore stapled his sister to the door, "Now Willie", his mother said with humor quaint, "Don't do that, you'll scratch the paint" --------------------------------- There once was a man from Nantucket, whose cock was so long he could suck it, while licking his chin, he said with a grin, if my ear was a pussy I'd fuck it. --------------------------------- There once was this guy called Mike, who met this chick he really liked, He tried to get near, and she gave him a sneer, cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke. --------------------------------- There once was a man from Kent, whose cock was so long it bent, to save himself trouble, he put it in double, and instead of cumming he went. --------------------------------- There once was a woman from Timbuktu who was still a virgin at twenty two till her boyfriend came along and pumped her all night long now she's at home with a baby named lulu. --------------------------------- There once was a man named Ken who banged a girl in his den, he knew something's wrong when a wart grew on his shlong and now he's in his den with Ben. --------------------------------- There once was a man from York who picked his nose with a fork when it got stuck he cried "I don't give a fuck" and walked around looking like a dork. --------------------------------- There once was a man from Peru Who had a lot of growing up to do, He'd ring a doorbell, then run like hell, Until the owner shot him with a .22 --------------------------------- There was a farting contest coming to town and people came from miles around the first fart was extremely loud the second fart pleased the crowd the third fart, the judges cried "He shit his pants, he's disqualified!" --------------------------------- I once knew a person named Burl Whose looks would make you hurl why do I say it? I'm not full of shit this thing was half boy and half girl. --------------------------------- There once was a man from kanass Who's nuts were made out of brass in stormy weather he'd clack them together and lightning shot out of his ass --------------------------------- There once was a security guard Who had some troubles keeping it hard He jerked it off nightly And squeezed it tightly while looking at his identification card. --------------------------------- Gorgey Porgey puddin and Pie. Jerked off in his girlfriends eye. When her eye was good and shut, Gorgey Fucked that one eyed slut. --------------------------------- There once was a man from Peru who fell asleep in a canoe while dreaming of Venus he played with his penis and woke up all covered with goo There was a young gypsy girl Rose With obsessions for gentlemens' hose Up her pussy, her rear, In her mouth and each ear And her cute little freckle-tipped nose. There once was this guy named Stan Who had some trouble being a man He wore a dress and high heels And drove a Chevrolet with pink wheels And soon Stan became a tran There was an old lady from Wheeling, who had a funny feeling she laid on her back, and tickled her crack and pissed all over the ceiling There once was a man from Monclair Who screwed his wife on the stair, The banister broke, He quickened his stroke And finished her off in the air. There once was this guy named Gored Whose girlfriend was as flat as a board He'd suck as hard as he could And pulled them more then he should But soon even Gored got bored. Mary had a little sheep, And with this sheep She went to sleep. The sheep turned out To be a ram And Mary had a little lamb! There once was a man from Moline who made a jack off machine at thirty-two strokes the cock sucker broke and turned his balls into cream! A sexy young maiden named Jill Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil There once was a man from St.Paul Who swore he had but one ball Two dirty young bitches Tore down his breeches And found he had none at all. There was a young man from St. Rose, Whose love life was so full of woes, He loved sixty-nine, He'd do it all the time, But always got shit on his nose. There was an old hag named Van Cleef, Who was constantly passing a queef. One day while visiting the farm, She passed one meaning no harm, But killed the whole herd of beef. There once was a man named Lou Whose cum shots grew and grew By the time they were done He was having no fun Because the world was covered with goo!

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