Love Letters from an Emotional Cripple
(f/F,Humil, Student Teacher, Romance, Sick)
by cowgirl
(with Editing, Spelling & Sick Ideas from my buddy
c-man!)
A woman relationship to another woman is
revealed through several
gut-wrenching, sexualy explicit, demeaning,
humiliating, love letters.
_______________
Dearest Miss Vanderham,
The words we spoke today ripped my heart from my
chest.
I'm still numb inside knowing we almost said...
...goodbye.
I'm confused and angry when I realize how much we've
changed, never mind the effect it has on me when a
certain somebody start scolding me like I'm a stupid
little child. You know you advantage of how I respond
to it, as you very well know - you naughty naughty
girl!
But, seriously, Our fight has my tummy in knots and
I'm not sure I
can do what you asked of me. I've really thought a lot
this afternoon about your accusing me of playing dumb
, and I want you to know that I'm really not
pretending! I really don't *get* a lot of what stuff
people are saying most of the time, despite my ability
to fool most people into believing I do. I guess you
just spot real me who's a phony stupid fool, or maybe
I feel such love for you, it makes me stupid. Don't
laugh, it happens. Like in school, remember? I wish I
could tell if you're really upset when I don't
understand what your saying, or if your just egging me
on, or secretly even like my "dumb act" little bit,
thought it's not an act - REALLY!!!!
I also want you to know that you, my lovely Lynn, you
are all I live for - and even though it makes me angry
when you call me names, it makes me angrier at
*myself* for knowing how right you are and how steamy
I get inside when I can't seem to stop from proving
what a dumb little air head I become around you,
tagging along behind you!
Whether or not your calling me "dummy" arouses me
doesn't matter, it's the simple fact you DO that makes
me
dream of you. And I hope you respect me more than the
other silly students you make jokes about. That's why
what you proposed today after school threw me a
little, and the way you didn't even hide your mocking
expression when you asked....
...made me feel ugly and cold inside. I'm sorry, but it
did. Why Lynn? You know my feelings and
vulnerabilities.
Why must you ask such...CRUEL......things???
Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just a bit
emotional after last period, on the lawn, behind the
classroom.
That was risky and we'd better watch it. If someone
had caught us -
Well, let's not go there! (nervous shudder)
>From the first day we met you knew you were the one -
the ONLY one for me - (warm smile)!!! Despite all the
fights and my screw ups I cause, you are still my best
friend, or kinda like my or sister, always
there to fix things, dry my tears, and tickle my
secret places. (I think you know *which* ones Miss
Vanderham!) I don't care about the age difference,
your still the best thing that's ever happened to me!
I can't
bear the thought of losing my secret "after school
lover" - just because you're being such a meany! I
mean, are
you serious? You'd really break up with me, over some
silly school outfit? Why should this be so
important? I think you *know * I loath wearing things
during our love making that make me feel self
conscious, and that would look stupid on me anyways!
This is what you asked of me that caused such a fuss
and nearly ripped my heart from my chest - knowing
you'd ask me to do something which I find demeaning
and
humiliating just to punish me. This is such a silly
power game between us! Lynn honey - for GOD'S SAKE -
Let's
STOP before someone GETS !!!!
Honey, can't you see these hurtful jokes you make
about my being "so stupid and horny my little cunny
will eventually go along with it" are killing me and
could
ruin all we have! Making mocking jokes like these to
people at school, and even other students??? Are you
trying to get us caught? Shocking students with
rumors, like your insistence on my donning this
symbolic
piece of clothing your placing such a angry focus on
is not only just plain stupid, let alone dangerous!!!!
Lynn my
love, you playing with dynamite....
Do you want us to be pulled apart???? For your own
teacher
to go to jail just to prove her love for you????
Knowing you'd be willing to risk everything over some
silly
little "bedroom game" makes me sick with worry and is
tearing
me apart. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe it's because
you're getting
tired of me. Maybe. I just worry you're trying to or demean me by asking me to assume that role, even in
our private little bedroom games together. I guess It
just...hurts. We both know how much you hate those
little school uniforms and look down on your
fellow
students for being made to wear them.
Is that what it's about? Reducing me to the level of
one of
your peers? Is this why you're doing this? When you
feel
some area in our life that makes me squirm, you eyes
light up and start teasing me to tears with it, and I
beg you to stop but my body responds and you use that
as a club over my head. I don't know why it responds,
but maybe you're right. Maybe that's why I'm stupid
little fool for falling madly and hopelessly in love
with my
own student. Maybe I am a bimbo, but I'm sorry. I'm
not a
schoolgirl and don't deserve to be humbled into
dressing up as one.
I wish there was some way to get you to understand the
loyalty I feel for you in the depths of my heart and
to make you see that I'd do anything for you. Anything
short
of this one stubborn pig-headed request of yours....
Unless....
I'd be willing to reconsider, IF you'd just....
commit. Run away from home and MOVE IN with me!!!!!
I'd wear a dozen school uniforms and degrade
myself by
sucking off all my and students in my class
IF.... you'd move in with me. Yes, it means that much. I
know you just get angry when I bring it up, but it's
all I
live for. The two of us alone, together - finally
free!!!! All the memories we've shared and all the
memories
we've made, I'd easily trade if you'd grant me this
one request - I'd happily parade around in any and
every
sexually demeaning obscene pornographic perverted
display that mocks my professional position and
personal
self respect, all served up just to humiliate and
mortify your once proud and prissy little teacher!
But, let me ask you something? Can you honestly tell
me our
trust wouldn't be forever damaged by my and anger
towards you if I agreed to all that? There's a CATCH
to
what your asking me to risk by doing as you asked.
Yes, the thrill of getting caught IS exciting, but the
fact I
could be pulled away from you by the authorities would
make me grow cold inside toward you. And, even if we
got away with me dressing up between classes and my
parading around before next class. What then? Would
you lose respect for me if it all blows up? Have you
all ready? Would I prove myself as stupid and pathetic
as
you say by agreeing to it, only to have you run away
and leave me fired, in jail and worst of all, with a
broken
heart just to humble me?
TWO WEEKS LATER...
Well, here we age again. I'm just a stupid little fuck
bunny idiot, aren't I? I did exactly as you asked and
wore
the stupid thing and proved myself every bit as dumb
and sexually horny as you said!!!
But, what happened?
You *said* you'd seriously consider MY feelings about
the "big move" into my place. I could feel your anger
underneath, but I proudly dressed up did as you asked,
I was SO touched you'd meet me half way! You *said*
your wouldn't be a problem. Are
you sure they aren't suspicious? Not even your little
sister? She
must have told them something after what she saw!
Jesus,
I nearly fainted when I saw her standing there,
watching us
like that!
Why do I keep getting so worked up and frustrated
into tears arguing with you, when I only keep proving
I'm as worthless as you laughable as you claim? Okay,
let's
get to the point, Princess: Teacher DID as you asked.
It
doesn't matter how much I got "into it" after the
fact, I did it
for your pleasure! So, why haven't you moved in? You
implied you'd be over by Monday, right? Did I
miss understand? Am I going nuts???? Did I do
something wrong? Was I not sexy as a "punished little
school girl" on Sunday night? Did I fail to please
your little and her friend? They seemed
to enjoy it, right? I've never gave "oral delights"
to someone so young, other than yourself, before, so I
may not me very skilled at it! And I can't believe it
was
as "safe" as you claimed, that the your brought over didn't need some sort of protection, as I
took his bare "thing" in my , well, you know. I mean,
there *are* these diseases some kids have now days,
aren't there? I washed my mouth afterwards, It seemed
very un responsible to me not to insist on some
protection before agreeing to...you know. That's all.
But, you
know best. I wish we didn't have to involve other
"younger people" in our little love games, as these
two
youngsters could talk. Lynn honey, I hope you trust
them.
It's one thing to be emotionally vulnerable and
sexually stupid to you. I barely even know your little
sister, and I don't even remember the name of the
little punk who shot ropes of messy male "stuff" all
over my darned white school blouse and jumper! He
made a terrible mess!
Lynn, honey...I'm frightened! I'm supposed to be a
trained teacher and responsible adult here, and I DO
care about my job and students, but you'd never know
that watching me getting rug burns on my knees last
Sunday
night in your bed room with my head burrowing up your
sister
skirt!
Lynn, I never came so hard in my life, *but* - my
whole world's turning upside down! Honey, I could
hear your *PARENTS* in the next room laughing and
watching for God's sake! We were THAT CLOSE to
ruin, and I felt like a teenager, myself! Do you think
they really bought that I was helping you with your
homework? I wish you'd have let me come up with
something more believable, especially with that
raincoat
that covered my "school girl" uniform! I mean, you
snuck
me out the back window, I didn't even say goodbye!
This is out of control! Lynn, I love you more than my
own life...but if we are discovered, we'll lose each
other.
They'd spilt us up - and send me away! Do you relate
to
that? Do I? Apparently not - not when I'm munching off
your and fumbling with the penis of her horny
little
pimpled friend from across the street!!!! I'm on
dangerous
ground here, and you know where it's going If someone
doesn't stop us.
I'm even more afraid that the more worthless you and
your little friends make me, the more I feel truly
loved
excited and alive the more pathetic you make me feel.
ONE WEEK LATER...
Please don't throw all we share together away over
insisting I interview and weed through the
"emotionally
vulnerable" teaching assistants I oversee, just so
you'll know which are most likely to sleep with
you. That disgusts me, it really does! Lynn! Yes,
your roughly whispering it into my ear last night made
me climax into your hard, but there
are some things that are just too far. Too much. It's
morally wrong to coerce those who
are assisting in my class by implying they'll be fired
if they don't "go along", and I could lose my job as a
teacher. You know they're not doing it for the sex if
we
blackmail them into our little games, don't you? I
don't mean to take a "tone" with you, as it's not my
place. I've been too mouthy as it is, I know!
But.....there has been too much ugliness lately. Too
much
of me acting just as dumb as you keep daring me too. I
know, it thrills me, too. I won't say seeing how far
you'll push me hasn't
been a rush, but there are LIMITS!!!! You say with
each line we cross, I prove I'm so aroused I deserve
whatever
hell it brings.
Maybe you're right. I don't know.
But I need to see you smile at me sometimes. I need to
see
you look deep in to my eyes and tell me that you love
me too. I can't express how I long to feel your strong
little arms
around me and I need to feel your pounding heart beat
against mine. Wasn't getting my assistant Peggy to
come over enough, let alone my being the perfect
little
bimbo once again
in that silly demeaning uniform! Didn't I prove my
loyalty by
going that far? It took some convincing, I can tell
you! Peggy is
a smart girl, and you know she doesn't like you. But
she really is respects me and would do anything for my
recommendation into a decent college!
I think you know how difficult last night was for both
Peggy and I. Doesn't the dried and sweaty itchy
material of my jumper and blouse you insisted I not
wash prove my love? Doesn't the way I crawled over
and huddled
behind your bedroom door, which you smirking face
refused
to lock, terrifying our getting caught further mean
anything? Did it please you watching me getting once
again
proudly forcing on that dirty sticky smelly school
girl outfit once again?
Doesn't the position that I awkwardly held for your
amusement, perched on my heels with my blouse
displayed
open, while you rode away selfishly across my face,
didn't that mean anything? Does all this just prove
I'm a
fucking moron who will do anything for you? Are you
laughing at me, or somewhere inside is my Lynn deeply
moved and too tough to show it? Or is my favorite
student just seeing how far I'll keep following her
poor sad
teacher will march towards the edge? Do you think it
didn't break little Peggy's heart, snapping pictures
like
that? Taking part in degrading a woman she respected
only a few hours before? I have no idea how or WHAT
I'll
say to her tomorrow, and I can only pray she never
suspects how much more a willing participant I was
that I
let on.
Thankfully she'll never know the way my own student
privately taunts me afterward by mockingly recalling
the
whole episode in my ear while her sweet fingers
wander my warm inside, cruelly reminding me of how I
betrayed my own sweet little Peggy and secretly
orgasm like a shameful little slut in front of her
that
night?
THE NEXT DAY...
Dear Miss Stubborn,
I can't *believe* you, holding out on me!!! It drives
me nuts to sit only a few feet from you every day as
if everything's normal. Peggy is a mess. But, the
weird
little smirks you give me make it all worth it. It's
awful what were putting her through, isn't it? I hate
what we're doing, but I cant stop! Life without you
doing these things to me would be unbearable. From now
on I'm really going to try to meet you in the middle
on things. I'll work to bring Peggy in line a lot
more. And, you *are* right! My teacher act has always
been just that! No matter what I say or how much I go
on about "us", I'm just...well....
somebodies "stupid little fuck bunny".
I hate using those words, but I know admitting It
makes
you giggle. You know my scrunched up face and sweet
tears
of humiliation are total proof that no matter how much
I
bellyache about suffering, Lynn's "little fuck bunny"
keep
coming back for more, doesn't she??? And it turns my
sexy
naughty little student on, doesn't it? Well, then I'll
proudly
suffer for you.
Even Peggy exploded about it in tears of fury when I
drove her home last night! She had seen through my
empty little speech about how, if she'd just clean up
the
excess of the neighborhood boy's "spillage", and help
warm
you up with her tongue before I start my nightly
duties, then
I would really, truly do what I could about that
college situation
for her. Peggy started screaming and sending me into a
silent
guilty thrill when she disgustedly described how it
sickens her
to be forced to witness my Cummins and bucking under
your cruel and attentive fingers.
Peggy got out of my car and looked straight at me,
asking if I found any of this arousing? Did I "get
off" on the
whole thing? She looked straight at me, and I looked
down, hands trembling. The pause was awkward, and her
expression fell apart, as she called me a "fucking
pervert" who's just as sick as you are, and then our
Peggy
said she NEVER wanted to see EITHER of us again!
It was quite ugly, and we both broke down in tears,
but I still couldn't bring myself to say anything. To
say it
wasn't true. plead for her forgiveness. I was just
silent. I was too ashamed her disgust was turning me
on! The
pure hatred her face as she slammed my car door and
stormed away made me ill, and hate myself further as I
sunk even lower into a hazy erotic fog, masturbating
in her driveway. I couldn't to brag to you about it,
and how
proud you'd be I betrayed and my teaching
assistant's feelings so mercilessly! It's like each
mortifying
perversity I sink to only brings us closer together!
I'll give you more space about the "commitment" thing,
as
long as you promise that you won't forget about me.
Okay? Oops -
I know - don't negotiate. It's your terms or nothing,
right? (sigh) Sorry. Well... I guess you're right. You
always
know what's best for
your little fuck bunny. Lynn, I swear I love you with
all my heart and I hope you can look deep inside and
find
some way to forgive me for all the stupid ways I keep
fucking up the sex things we keep experimenting with.
I
do so want to please and be useful to my favorite
pupil .
THREE WEEKS LATER...
Dearest Lynn,
Today was the most horrible day of my life. I'm still
shaking and never thought the day would come that we'd
actually say good-bye - for real. As I sit here
thinking of
all the words we spoke, I come to one conclusion, and
that conclusion is:
I WON'T stop loving you!!!!! I want to nibble and kiss
and fondle
your secret places. I need you most when you me
or laugh
at me. I know that sounds, clingy, but it's not. I
know
I'm such a stupid a I deserve punishment and I
only cause
my own problems by being so dumb in the first place,
but
I can't help it.
Losing my job as a teacher of seventeen years...
aroused me to NO END!
I know it was dumb, and professional suicide, but I
now see
it wasn't YOUR fault - it was MINE!!!! I know I'm not
very smart or pretty or a real teacher or anything.
I'm just
a dumb stupid fuck toy that deserves to be
hurt,
but I'll gratefully take all the sweet loving ways
you
demean me, I sincerely mean that-- because when I
keep humiliating myself it means I'm DUMB, and when
you keep asking me to prove my "dumbness" by humiliate
myself, it proves the most important thing in the
world to me:
you CARE!
Your hate is something I'd gladly take right now. Your
disgust of me would bring us closer and soothe me. But
now
I've lost all that. My heart used to swell inside
because I
suspected you were really just as much an insecure and
frightened little as me inside. I miss understood
and, thinking you as weak as me, believed when you
lashed out at me, you were saying: don't leave me.
But this is wrong. Your NOT a little girl. Though your
only half my age, your eight times the adult I'll ever
be,
and I know see how insulting my attitude toward you
was! Lynn, your so much more than my fourteen year
student that caused my resignation.
I'm still stunned that Peggy even opened the door when
I knocked on it again. I guess some part of her wanted
to see us again. I really do believe that. Just
remembering how Peggy nervously invited us into her
home - "one
last time" as your sugary words promised, under the
guise of "explaining" everything, said something.
That, and
the ugly betrayed tears my teaching assistant cried
while you smeared her face with your teenage while
she hysterically not only allowed, but *encourged* me
to...well......"urinate" all over her collage application,
as
"punishment" for her rude refusal to see us anymore!
If Peggy truly hated the whole thing, why'd she beg
you
to smear the offending application across her face
while I snapped photos of it for her christmas
album? Me thinks our little Peggy was secretly excited
for us to provide the excuse to be "abused" so, don't
you? I don't think she'll ever forget the "depravity"
we gave her the chance to explore.
Well, sitting her without you is more empty than I
have words for! I miss your calling me a stupid
fuck-toy. It
warms my sad sad heart and makes me wish you were HERE
to humiliate me so passionately again. My mind
keeps returning to what brought the whole thing down
around us. I was once proud we'd been able to avoid
using
my own students in our little games. Once, a long time
ago...
But I still don't consider what happened the other
night "rape". I came too many times. I deserved it! I
hate how
stupid I am sometimes too! I would love to fist fuck
myself, just as you and Brenda Johnson did. How did
you
get her to agree to such treatment of me, her own
teacher? I wish I didn't make you so crazy that I need
to be
yelled and screamed at and even bruised sometimes,
just to behave.
I was stunned to see all those other students you
brought in who watched. Were they from a different
school? I
didn't recognize most of them! They were a roudy crowd
and when the came out - I knew this would
come back to haunt us, or well - me, since no one else
wanted they're face in the shots! (big surprise that,
huh?)
But I when I kept sobbing into Brenda Johnson's
vagina's in
pathetic "gratitude", thanks you and her for taking
dozens of demeaning photos of me proudly on my knees
in my
own classroom after hours you two off under
aged to a chorus of cheering behind us, it
proved I'm a fucking bimbo whore, didn't it? I know my
hysterical crying jags only fueled your anger and
passion, and your anger makes me act MORE stupid, more
like a dumb little bimbo, which turns my insides to
Jell-O even more!!! This I told myself, had to be the
worst. Then I had to "tidy up" the now sticky floor
after
around the boy's feet while you and Brenda caught more
professional suicide in all it's digital splendor.
But this was nothing compared to felt I was sure must
be the ultimate threshold of bad taste. My mother's
funeral not something I find erotic. Juts empty and
hollow, but I knew you'd have to test my love and
commitment to you, wouldn't you? You acted speechless
when we were all gathered around the grave and right
in the middle of the service, you gave me my cue, and
I did as you asked and shamefully forced myself SPIT
on
my own mom's casket right in front on my whole
family! At first everyone was even to shocked to even
be
angry.
You slapped me and spat on my face in disgust, and I
licked your
spit off my own cheek while everyone watched in
disgust, you included.
I was on fire when I followed my second cue to
embarrass myself and suddenly screamed what a "stupid
fucking bimbo" my she, then lift my skirt and
try to urinate over the casket.. Everyone was in
shock. To
them I'd obviously gone nuts, but we both knew it was
your way of mortifying me to another cruel orgasm to
prove myself your loyal fuck-happy sex idiot, and my
body was alive with every fiber of it's being,
committing
such a vile against poor ol' mommy! Before my
family could stop me from tinkling on my mommies
grave, we both raced away from the crowd as I strip
off my clothes, yelling obscenities, and you whimpered
after me to "please stop", ever so the victim.
My heart was still in my throat as we stole away into
some nearby brush and you forced me to the ground and
dove into my thighs. Soon you had me whispering to my
young niece who'd strayed away from the crowd,
obviously distressed to see her aunt like this! I
seduced her into the bushes to the site of you hand
fucking me
naked on the grass, her eyes wide. It surprised me to
hear my niece pleaded with us to let her go, as she
voluntarily stayed glued the spot, watching you
silently made eye contact with her while fist fucked
me in the
bushes. But I thought I'd lose my mind with excitement
when my uncle poked his head in and his face went
pale,
catching site of you holding me down so my naughty
little niece could urinate on my naked pussy, which
she
was gingerly now doing with my naughty Lynn's
encouragement! We three put on quite a show for him,
and my
heart trembled in fear as your now yellow hands warmed
and greedily humiliated my secret places inside as he
screamed at us to stop. I was confused, furious, and
exploding in orgasmic bliss thanks to you!!!
But you wouldn't even stop there. I know that my
family will
always remember me, a few minutes later, naked and
trying to
tear off my niece's clothes, her undies dangling from
my mouth. I think that's what brought the cops. Thank
god
my talked them into letting me go, though I'm
now a fucking disgrace to my whole and no one
will talk to me. They think I'm a "sex addict." They
actually said that in the intervention, even my own
sister.
You were there too, and on their side, much to my
shame. I said nothing, I cried at their words before I
started
fucking myself in front of everyone with a carrot as
you had secretly instructed me earlier.
Okay, we both know that's not true. You just laughed
that "you wondered if I'd be stupid enough to fuck
myself silly in front of them", and you knew I'd do it
because I love you so. You knew I wouldn't be able to
resist that wonderful smirk that says your own high
school teacher belongs to you when she keeps
embarrassing and humiliate herself in public.
But, oddly enough, it wasn't just my spitting and
pissing on
mommy during her funeral that was the worst. It's was
how it became a symbol of everything that's wrong
with us, and worried
me to my core. I'm also ashamed of myself for
disrespecting mommies memory by licking up your sweet
tasting spit from my cheek during such an painful and
hurtful moment in my history, and for being
stupid and horny enough to mock her memory by getting
off on it!!!!! It brought me to new low - and new
height
of wanton lust! I hate that about me too! But, my
wonderful Lynn, even with all the pain you set in
motion in my
life....I still painfully deeply, desperately want you
back in it.
I truly don't want to even live without you. That
night I spent in your bed room closet was pure magic.
Maybe someday I could cuddle under your arm and fall
asleep while your hands are disappearing into me, your
eyes afire with a look that says, deep inside, you're
as fragile as I am. Maybe even more. I long to
disappear
in your possessive angry passionate grinding embrace.
But your closet is enough! Please...I'll be happy
there.
I won't complain. Please don't tell me to "get lost"
or
"go away", and please, please, please, please - give
me
ONE MORE CHANCE! Our icky fight today and the fear of
losing you made me want you...need you...all the
more!!!.
Lynn, from the first day we met in my class, you have
always been the one. I wanted to throw you down and
shed my clothes that very day before all my students
and lick you on my office desk! Does that shock you?
I hope so. It's how I feel. I'd do it now if I had the
chance right before the whole world! I know you were
meant for me, even as retarded and dysfunctional as I
am. Just the mere thought of losing you breaks my
heart in a MILLION PIECES!!! I can't stop thinking
about you and the secret naughty little games we
played
all day in your bedroom and in your closet behind
locked doors. Also scary games under my desk at
school, yet beautifully romantic ones in the ladies
room behind the locked stall doors when you turned me
*yellow* and dirtied me more times than I can count!
To me these were like romantic week end on the beach,
seeing you play our water games like that between
classes. The excitement still leaves me weak kneed.
Lynn, you're the one. me. Heal me. Hold me. I
hope we can work things out and you'll forgive my
blowing up about that silly nonsense between you and
my sister. I don't believe her anyway! She's a lying
traitor and is jealous of my finding real love. I
don't care how she got those bruises when you took her
to the that night, and I'd love the chance to
make my little tantrum up to you in person!
(winky, wink- kissy, kissy) Please give me another
chance. I need you in my life. I LOVE YOU!!!!!
forever yours,
Bambie
Three months Later...
As I conclude this last letter my passionate student
and lover, I need to ask you one serious question.
We've been through a lot, and I need to know
one thing:
Will you spend the rest of your life with me?
Will you will let me be the one that cooks you dinner
and let me be the one that you come home to at night
and let me be the one you love with all of your heart
and will never let go. I don't care about the rest of
it. The fights, the drama, the hot sex, It's worth it
- YOU'RE worth it!!!! I now see that when you, my
friend and lover offer the blessed gift of your
pristine and sweet fluids, sending them gushing warmly
into my face - it is proof of your love.
I know others will never understand, and I know you
think I'm a fool to still care, especially writing
from here.
But one day, when I'm able, I long to prove myself
worthy of that test of your love one again warming my
face with your waste, and am proudly ready for all you
have to give. Give your secrets to me Lynn. Defecate
in my warm waiting lap. Empty your fears of
commitment and your bladder into the well of love I
have for you. Live with me. Use me. me, make me
alive. I can't live without you, can't you see? I care
and I know I'm too worthless to love and you may never
want to see me again, and I'll probably die of
loneliness in this damned prison cell, but that won't
separate us. Nothing will. One day we'll be living
together
again as a couple and you'll have your own personal
school teacher, happily eating out of your teen aged
hands
and gratefully accepting your showers
of love and acceptance in the privacy of our own home!
We don't have to do it now or anytime soon, but when
I'm eventually released, I definitely want to
spend the rest of my life with you, I know that for a
fact! Honey, I swear I can be what you'd like sexually
and spiritually speaking, so please say you'll be my
*special girl* again, won't you - pretty please,
Lynn? Don't answer right away. And please don't throw
this letter out. Did you get my others??? (worried
look) Like I said I don't want to rush you, but when
we're both ready I want it to be us not you and
someone
and me, and not me and someone and somebody else. I
think I confused myself there. Sorry. I'm such a
stupid little fool aren't I? And to think I used to be
your teacher. (stupid giggle)
I can't promise you there won't be fights, and I won't
promise that you won't want to walk out on me one day
cause I'm so stupid and dumb and such a poor excuse
for a woman, and I can't promise you that we'll be
happy all the time, or you won't have to slap me
around or shove me back into shape when I become
surly, but I can promise you:
Someone who is totally devoted to your pure passionate
energy - someone who thinks you walk on water no
matter what others say- someone who will always be
there for you even when I've messed up and need
correcting - and someone who is hopelessly in love
with you! And most of all: Someone who you can
warmly relieve yourself onto. (grin)
Lynn, my student, my lover, my teacher of the cruel
and endless lessons of love - you are my world, so
please - say you'll think about it. My "marriage"
proposal can be our little secret since you're still
under age, but we can carry it with us until we decide
we're ready, unless you'd want me to quit my job and
ditch my friends and when I get out, which I'll
gladly do in a second if you say the word. I've
disowned my for claiming you "raped" her with
that umbrella, which she knows is a total lie!
Anyway she had it coming and I'd count myself lucky to
have you fill me up with so naughty a household item!
Well it doesn't matter because I hate the rest of my
family and they won't visit me in prison and I hope
they all rot in hell and die, so there we are. (warm
smile)
Anyway, I just couldn't go on living without
confessing my aching need for your firm touch and the
powerful and my passionate desires burning and
beating from inside my heart. Please say you'll spend
the rest of your life with me, be my partner when I'm
free and make sweet love to me. Use me as your human
toilet and personal bimbo love doll. Remember, even if
I repulse and disgust you (which is understandable), I
still LOVE you with all of my heart and soul and will
turn myself into whatever you'd like for the chance to
be with you for the REST OF OUR LIVES!!!!!
All My Love,
Bambie
THE END
Check out all of cowgirl's at:
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Cowgirl/
*******
This work is copyright (c) 2000 by cowgirl. You may
download and keep copies for your personal use as long
as the author's byline and e-mail address and this
paragraph remain on the copies. Please do not post
this
story to any web site without permission from the
author. All other rights reserved. No alteration of
the
contents is permitted.
*******
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