DISCLAIMER: The following three contain the words acerbic, adept, ameliorate, apocryphal, assuage, blithe, constrict, credulous, dilatory, egregious, fatuous, guile, hedonism, impervious, incipient, irascible, lethargy, mundane, prolific, and redundant. If these words offend you, or if you are not enough to read these words in your community, then don t read any further.
Three Variations on a Theme by OddManOut
one
Sandy hunched over the computer, trying to think of what she wanted to say. "The new Corlex series from Crayford: Now with more flexibility and a faster speed!" That was what the company gave her, and she was supposed to figure out a way to get a cliched copy into something that sounded new and relevant. So far, she d been through "Corlex! Get more speed and flexibility for your money!", "Crayford gives you the Corlex edge!", and "For the tough jobs, get Corlex!" They were all either or apocryphal. She felt like all the good advertising lines had already been taken, and the only option left was to be redundant.
"Working hard?" Sandy turned to see Pat s blithe eyes peering over the walls of her cube.
"Pat! Maybe you can help me with this." Pat was one of the major players at Sandy s company. She was adept at coming up with new copy, and was one of the most prolific people in the business. It was Pat s guile that had just sold the Miller account, and she had been rewarded with another project that didn t take much time.
She came around and joined Sandy, grabbing the spare chair and pulling it up beside her. Today, Pat was wearing a navy business dress with a white blouse. The dress had a short hemline, and Sandy could see all the way up to her stocking-covered thighs as Pat scooted the chair close to her. Pat s shoulder-length black hair had been pulled back into a bun today, providing finishing touches to the businesswoman s look. She leaned forward next to Sandy, touching her arm softly with her hand. "So what s wrong?"
"I just can t think of any good copy" Sandy said acerbically. "I don t think any original good copy exists anymore." Pat cocked an eyebrow as she looked into Sandy s eyes. "Do you always try to think up something new when you do a project?" "Of course!" Sandy cried. "How else am I supposed to do it? How can *you* think up new things, just like that?" Pat put her arm around Sandy s shoulder and tried to assuage her. "Well, the secret is, Sandy, that you don t do it like that."
"You don t?" Sandy had always assumed that Pat could came up with perfect copy at whim. Now that she thought of it, it seemed like a somewhat fatuous idea. "Of course not, Sandy. Here, let me show you." Pat took her hand off Sandy s shoulder and moved it to her leg as she drew her attention to the computer. "Now, what you re doing is going for the catch phrase first. What I do is start out by writing out the rest of the ad. Then, when I m done with that, the hook line just seems obvious." She gave Sandy s leg a light squeeze. "Got that?" "I guess," Sandy said with some apprehension.
"Great!" Pat squeezed again, then looked Sandy in the eyes. "Sandy, how about if I meet you here at five, and we ll work on this then?" Sandy was suddenly conscious of Pat s hand on her leg. Pat had always been a good friend and confidant, but Sandy had never fantasized about her. At least, not often. She met Pat s gaze and said "Sure. I ll try writing up the ad this afternoon, and I ll meet you at quitting time. OK?" "It s a date!" Pat said, and got up.
By the end of the day, Sandy had gone through several attempts at writing her ad, and they all came out sounding wrong. No matter what she wrote, her copy seemed to have a mundane character that was impervious to amelioration. Pat s work always seemed to reach out and grab you Sandy s just sat there lethargically on the screen.
The frustration was making Sandy irascible, and by the time Pam poked her head around the door, Sandy was letting her anger out on an innocent memo. Sandy turned to see Pam, and snapped "Come in, I m still trying to write this dumb ad. I hate it." Pam pulled up a chair behind Sandy and placed her hands on Sandy s shoulders. As she started to give Sandy a backrub, Pam silently read the copy on the screen.
When she was finished, Pam leaned forward until her mouth was next to Sandy s ear. "Sandy?" "Yes?" "Do you mind if I make a suggestion?" "Go ahead." Sandy s voice was flat and uncaring as she rocked against Pam s hands. Pam continued. "Well, what I think you need to do is look at your choice of words."
"What s wrong with my choice of words?" Sandy s eyes were closed now, enjoying Pam s hands on her shoulders. Pam seemed to know exactly where Sandy was tense, and which muscles to constrict to relieve these tensions. Sandy could feel herself beginning to relax as Pam spoke. "Well, you see where it says that Crayford has been in the business for thirty years? " "Yeah?" "Well, you can change your wording, so that it sounds sexier." Pam s hands left Sandy s shoulders and slid up her neck, slowly squeezing the tendons at the base of her skull. Sandy was still lost. "How can it sound sexier?" Pam thought for a second. "Why not say, Crayford has been going strong for thirty years ? It makes them sound better in bed. More manly." Pam s hands slowly started down the middle of Sandy s back, pressing softly into each vertebra.
Sandy had to admit, it did sound better. She highlighted the text and typed in the change. Pam spotted another fix. "Second sentence, second paragraph. The new Corlex line dominates the competition. " "That s a good one." Sandy said as she made the change. "I see one, Pam. Right here. With it s faster speed, the Corlex presents a stiff challenge for the workplace environment. " Pam lit up. "That s right! You re getting it." Pat spread out her hands and worked at Sandy s sides. "Try another."
Sandy looked over her copy, feeling more confidant already. There: she could change more efficient to stronger . And here: instead of The Corlex is waterproof she could say You can use the Corlex anytime, anywhere . As Sandy worked through her ad with renewed zest, she barely noticed Pat s hands as they strayed over her body.
"Wait!" Pam s hands jerked, and Sandy was surprised to find that they were now located just beneath her breasts. "What is it?" Sandy asked, her chest heaving from the surprise, and the intimacy of Pam s hands.
"You just said that Crayford has always finished one step ahead of the rest." "Yeah?" "Well, you don t want to imply they re premature, do you?" "I didn t mean it that way, I meant " Pam caressed Sandy s lower ribs softly, silencing her. "What you want to do is get the customer more credulous, not turn him off. Okay?" "Okay."
Sandy went back to work, and Pam continued to get more intimate with Sandy s body. Sandy knew she should say something, but it felt too good for her to tell Pam to stop. Pam leaned forward, and cupped Sandy s breasts in her hands. Sandy let out a soft moan, and stopped typing. Pam put her mouth next to Sandy s ear, and breathed, "Why don t we put that aside, and take a little break?"
Sandy could only nod her head yes as Pam undid the buttons on her blouse. When Sandy s blouse was half open, Pam slid a hand under the silk to squeeze her soft globes. Sandy threw her head back and relaxed, giving herself over to the hedonism. Pam slid a tongue into her ear, and started whispering to Sandy all the little dreams she d had about this moment.
"I ve wanted to lay you back, and touch you everywhere. I ve thought about your tongue, and how much I wanted to feel it on my pussy. Will you tongue my clit for me, Sandy?" Sandy could only nod, a slight smile on her face as she imagined Pam s taste and smell. Pam rolled her chair around, and their lips met and parted. Sandy s tongue caressed Pam s as they explored each others mouths. Pam slid her hand down Sandy s body, and undid the clasp on her slacks. Snaking her hand under the elastic band, she rubbed a finger over Sandy s slick mound. When Sandy felt this, she went rigid with pleasure, moaning into Pat s mouth when Pat pressed against her button. Pat played with Sandy s clitoris for a few minutes, bringing her to the brink of orgasm, then taking her hand away for the dilatory pleasure of it. Sandy whined at her, begging Pat to let her come.
"Not yet. I want you to taste me first." Sandy looked reluctant. "I ve never done that before. I won t know how." "It s easy," Pat said as she undid her dress. All you have to do is kiss me." Pat pulled Sandy out of the chair and laid her down on the floor of the cube. Putting her knees on either side of Sandy s head, she knelt over her body and undid her slacks. She pulled the slacks down to expose Sandy s auburn bush, then dipped her head forward as she lowered her cleft toward her lover s face.
Sandy was apprehensive as she saw Pat s coming towards her, but as she felt Pat start to lick her, the intense pleasure that ran through her nerves cleared away her inhibitions. She took a tentative lick, and found Pat s fluids warm and musty, not at all egregious. Best of all, she could feel Pat twitch slightly when she licked, and she enjoyed the power she got from it.
Both women laid on the floor, head to tail, as they licked and stroked each other s pussy. Pat gasped as Sandy learned to flick her clit quickly with her tongue, and soon came with a shudder from the attention. As she came down from the climax, she went back to Sandy s slit with renewed fervor. Sandy, whose orgasm was already incipient, came within a few seconds of Pat s assault.
As she basked in the afterglow of her first climax, Sandy turned to her tutor and said "So what words do you need to use to sell to women?"
two
Cindy blithely flounced her way home from school, her and white cheerleader s skirt flapping up to reveal her unusually brief panties. It had been a good day for her. Today she d been more prolific than ever: she d flashed her at five boys, and Mr. Hubble in her Geometry class! It was so fun to tease them like that. She liked to see the reactions on their faces when she bent down in front of them to retrieve a book she had dropped. But she wouldn t let them touch. Oh no. Cindy was a good girl, and she didn t do that kind of thing with boys.
As she rounded a corner, she almost ran into Mark. Cindy recoiled with disgust. Mark was one of those mundane geeks, and she didn t like the way he looked at her when he was around. He was so vile, she probably wouldn t even flash her at him! Cindy imperviously stepped aside to try and pass him, but Mark stepped with her. "Not so fast, little girl," he said in a low voice. "I ve got some business I d like to discuss with you."
Cindy screwed up her face in a pout and said "You don t have any business with me, Mark Cody! I m going home!" Mark gave the fatuous girl a mean look and said "Oh yeah? Well floodlegazoom! Show me your panties!" Cindy started to object, but suddenly her entire body felt heavier and sluggish, like she had been submerged in a vat of molasses. >From far away, she sensed her right hand reaching down and pulling up her skirt. What was she doing? She never wanted to show Mark her panties! She tried to stop her egregious hands, and found that she couldn t.
Mark watched the nubile teenager pull up her skirt in front of him and thought "Hot Damn! That ancient book the gypsy sold me really works!" He was beside himself with glee. He thought for a second, then said "Okay Cindy, gab-zub! Follow me home!" He started to walk away, and was pleased when he saw Cindy take an awkward step to start after him. This was going to be fun.
When they arrived at Mark s house, he made Cindy follow him down into the basement. Cindy didn t want to go, but Mark shouted another word at her, and she found herself obediently descending the steps in front of him. Mark made her sit down, then said "Cindy, kreck. Sit still." She immediately went rigid, and Mark put out his hand and began to squeeze her breast. Whenever she masturbated, Cindy had always imagined what it would be like for a to feel her up. Now, as she felt Mark s hand grab her tit, she bit back the tears as she sat helpless, unable to stop him. Mark lifted her powerless arms and pulled the short cheerleading shirt off her body. When he unfastened her bra, her big bounced free and pushed the fabric to the sides.
Mark stepped back, impressed at his work. Cindy remained motionless, but glared at him with flinty eyes. Now that he had her at his mercy, his mind was overflowing with ideas. Quickly he undid his pants and pulled them down to reveal an 8-inch slab of dick. Pushing it into Cindy s face, he said. "Dorklegleeb, Cindy. Suck my cock."
The pretty schoolgirl looked up at him with a hateful look, but the look turned to surprise as she involuntarily pressed her mouth into his belly button and blew hard, making a loud raspberry. Mark stepped back in shock. That wasn t supposed to happen! Wasn t Dorklegleeb the right word? "Uh, kreck, Cindy. Hold on a minute."
He ran upstairs, leaving Cindy to wonder what had just happened. She really hadn t wanted to suck Mark s dick, but when he said that word, it seemed like she was drawn to something. She was relieved when she found that the urge passed once she blew in his belly button. If only she had some way to ameliorate that horrible urge! She was moping in her misery when Mark returned with a grin, holding an dusty book in one hand.
He put the tome on a nearby table and said "All right, no more mistakes. Durklegleeb, Cindy. Suck my cock!" No sooner had the words left his mouth then Cindy s head shot forward and her lips clamped around the base of his member. Her eyes were squeezed shut in disgust as she bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sliding her tongue over the pulsing veins. Against her will, she relaxed her throat, and took him all in, constricting her lips and hard at the base of his shaft. Mark closed his eyes and smiled as his unwilling lover gave him a magnificent blowjob. He could feel his come rising, and almost pulled out, then decided to stay in her and give her a little surprise. Holding her head in his hands, he pushed his dick deeper into her mouth, then let forth a blast of semen. Cindy s throat muscles worked automatically, pulling his come down her throat.
Mark waited for Cindy to suck the last traces of come from his penis, then pulled out of her mouth, satisfied. Cindy gave him an acerbic look, but said nothing as he wiped himself off on the sleeve of her cheerleader s outfit. As he zipped himself up, he smiled at the and said "I hope you liked that as much as I did. You ll be doing a lot more of it soon enough." "You ll never see me again, Mark!" Cindy shot back in an irascible bark. Her reaction didn t faze the boy, but instead a wide grin spread across his face. He leaned down next to her and said "Corlecka, Cindy. Listen to me."
Cindy s eyes instantly went from spiteful to lethargic, then closed as the nubile vixen assuaged herself and turned her complete attention to what Mark was saying.
"Now Cindy, I want you to forget everything that has happened to you since you first met me coming home from school. Instead of coming with me, you went home and watched television for a few hours. Tell me what you did, Cindy."
"I went home and watched television for a few hours." Cindy spoke in a low voice, completely credulous of everything Mark was telling her.
"Right. Now, who did you flash your to today?"
"Five boys. And Mr. Hubble."
"Excellent. Tomorrow I want you to flash your to six boys, and Mrs. Laskin." Cindy squirmed a little as he spoke, but Mark overrode her. "Cindy, If you do not do this, I shall make you flash without panties. Do you want that?" After a dilatory pause, she shook her head no. "Right, then you ll do it. Now run along, and as soon as you get home, I want you to think that you went straight home from school, and never stopped here on the way." Mark knew it was redundant to say this, but he wanted to take no chances.
Cindy spoke again. "I went home and watched television for a few hours."
"Exactly. And Cindy, tomorrow I want you to go by my house again on the way home. Gerflank, Cindy. Go." The pretty teenager stood up and slowly climbed the basement steps to leave the house. After he heard her shut the door, Mark ran up the steps and looked outside the window. Cindy walked slowly away from his house, then shook her head, cleared her eyes a bit, and flounced away, back to her apocryphal life.
Mark grinned to himself. So far, he was only a novice at using the book, but he was more adept at its subtleties every day. He thought of how he had gotten Cindy to suck his cock today, and felt that it was a big step up from the hand job she had given yesterday. With the luscious under his control, the incipient potential for unrestrained hedonism was growing stronger every day. The guile of making her forget what she did ensured that she would never tell anyone who would stop him from using her.
His head spinning with possibilities, Mark returned to the basement and pored through the book, practicing new words which he could inflict upon Cindy tomorrow.
three
" Looking up at me with a sexy smile, Tiffanie said "I ve just got to have your hot polish sausage buried in my creamy cunt!" Her words drove me beyond the point of all control, and I picked up her 5 5", 105 pound, 36C-20-36 body, spun it around, and planted it on my foot-long frank. As soon as she felt my rigid rod invade her honeyed hole, she clenched her and came with an orgasmic scream of glee "
"Kurt?" Kurt s head shot up. Why was he called on? He hadn t been making any noise! From the front of the room, the study hall teacher fixed him with a steady gaze. "What are you reading?"
Kurt held up the study guide, with the magazine carefully placed along the inside, away from her gaze. "I m just working on vocabulary for the SAT, ma am." He wanted the words to come out smoothly, but he stumbled a little as he spoke, and he could feel his face getting hot. He had intentionally chosen the back corner of the room so that he would be able to read the mag without being seen by anyone else. How had she known what he was really doing?
Too experienced to be credulous, the teacher came walking towards him. Suddenly Kurt realized the problem: He had relaxed his fingers, and the study guide had slipped down, exposing the colorful top edge of the magazine for all to see. Kurt s heart stopped. He was doomed! His parents were going to be called about this, and he would get grounded for life! He would be the embarrassment of the school! Three rows up, Kurt s number-one crush Sheila Hawkins looked back to see what was going on. When he saw her eyes widen with recognition, he was devastated. She saw him see her, and whipped her head back around as the Study Hall teacher came up the aisle.
She stood by his desk and looked down at him, glass-framed eyes peering over large bosoms that Kurt had absolutely no interest in at the moment. "May I see, please?" She held out her hand for the study guide that Kurt had closed on his desk. Numbly he placed it in her hand. The teacher picked up the nested guide and magazine, and quickly opened them up. Kurt noticed that she still kept the porn magazine from the rest of the class behind the study guide. She flipped through it for a few seconds, then looked back at Kurt.
"Well, Kurt, I really don t think that anything in this is going to help your vocabulary much. Do you?" Kurt hung his head. "No ma am." Her eyes bore into his skull. "And in Study Hall, your job is to work on academic matters, not outside pursuits. Am I correct?" "Yes, ma am." Why was she tormenting him like this? "Well, Kurt, in that case I ll have to take this " Kurt heard her remove the magazine from the guide, but by the time he d whipped his head up she d adeptly rolled it into an unidentifiable tube-- "and leave you with this." She placed the study guide back down on the table and walked back to the desk. All eyes in the classroom were trying to discern exactly what had been confiscated from Kurt, but the magazine was too tightly rolled for any chance of identification. As she arrived at the desk, the teacher looked back and said, "I ll see you in my office after school, Kurt."
Standing behind the desk, she placed the magazine in a drawer and gave the entire class an impervious stare. "I suggest you all get back to work. I didn t do this for your amusement you know." As they realized that the identity of the contraband was not to be revealed, Kurt s classmates slowly turned back to their own work. Kurt sat at his desk, trying to make himself as small as possible behind the study guide. The guide itself was no good. Vocabulary was Kurt s weak point, and all the guide did was show him a huge list of words that *could* be on the SAT. It gave him no helpful suggestions or shortcuts like it did in the reading comprehension section. Now, after the embarrassment he had just received, he couldn t concentrate at all. He sat there in a lethargy, staring at the wall of words in front of him, seeing no possibility of remembering any of them.
Three hours later, he was standing in front of her desk, waiting for the speech on the evils of dirty magazines. "Sit down, Kurt." Kurt pulled up a desk from one of the rows behind him, and warily slid into it. As he did this, the teacher reached behind her head and undid her hair from its mundane bun. Looking at Mrs. 801 this way, it occurred to him that his Study Hall teacher was actually a very attractive woman. With her hair unbound, it traced its way over her shoulders and down her back in a way that made him want to stroke it. He looked in her eyes, and instead of seeing the hard glare of authority, he saw a softer look of someone who was put in the uncomfortable position of punishing someone. Actually, Mrs. 801 looked pretty sexy, for her age. She had to be at least ten years than his own mother, yet she retained her womanly figure, with large supple and a narrow waist. Kurt found himself wondering if she had ever done any of the things described in the magazine, and discovered that he was beginning to develop an erection.
"Now, Kurt. Why were you reading this," she held the magazine up from her desk, "when you should have been studying your vocabulary." Kurt wriggled a little in the cramped desk, stammering for the right words as he attempted to conceal his growing bulge. "Well, I It s like It s just It s just that I can t get anything out of that study guide. Here, look." He pulled the study guide from his bag and opened it to the vocabulary page. "All it does is give you this huge number of words and tell you to memorize them. I can t memorize all these! It s no use! At least I can understand what s in there." Kurt aimed an irascible eye at the magazine.
Mrs. 801 thought for a moment, then said, "There are other ways of memorizing words, you know. Why don t you look up the definitions, then incorporate each of the words into a sentence? That would be better than just rote memorization." Kurt nodded his head. "Yes, Mrs. 801." The teacher gave him an acerbic glance, then looked away for a second. When she looked back, she had an unusual expression on her face. She leaned forward and looked Kurt in the eye. Kurt could smell a faint perfume on her, and had to restrain himself from looking down her blouse.
"Now Kurt, I am not a person who is against hedonism, but I can t have my students blithely reading things like this in my study hall, no matter how they try to hide it. It just doesn t work. Now what s usually done in this situation is that I confiscate this magazine and make a call to your to tell them of what you ve done." Kurt s heart sank. She was going to tell after all. "However, in this case I think we can work out a different solution." Kurt looked up. He was willing to do anything to keep his from finding out! His mind whirled as he tried to guess what his sexy teacher wanted for her silence.
Mrs. 801 picked up the magazine again and idly thumbed through it. "While I was waiting for you, Kurt, I took the opportunity to read some of the in this magazine." Kurt s boner swelled. She *did* want to do it with him! His erection assuaged as she went on. "Reading through these stories, I was surprised at the generally egregious quality of writing in them. They aren t even close to erotic. The editors seem to be more interested in being prolific than in genuine quality or plot. Did you notice that too?" Kurt nodded, but inside he was confused. What was she getting at?
What she said next almost made him fall out of her chair. Mrs. 801 closed the magazine, then picked up her purse and began to fumble about in it. "Now Kurt, you know that I m an English teacher, but I also have activities that are outside of the school curriculum. I act as kind of a critic for a forum on the Internet. This forum is dedicated to stories of the kind found in your magazine, but usually they are of much better quality."
Kurt was stunned. "You mean, like, sex stories?" Mrs. 801 gave him a warm smile, and said, "Yes, Kurt. Exactly." He couldn t believe it. Imagining his teacher reading the magazine was already too much for him. Now he found that she not only read these stories, but critiqued them as well! A glimmer of hope went through him as he realized that the teacher might not call his or write a report on his reading the magazine. After all, she did the same thing, didn t she?
Mrs. 801 pulled a key from her purse, and unlocked one of her desk drawers as she continued. "Recently, I presented a kind of contest to the forum, to find out who could write the best given a particular constraint. Ten of these were submitted to me, and I printed them out for easier reading." She pulled a small stack of paper from the drawer and placed it on the desk. "I have already read and ranked these on my own scale, but I think that in this case, it would help to be redundant." Looking at Kurt over her glasses, she pushed the stack towards him. "If you can read these stories, rank them, and just write a couple of sentences on each one, defending your rank, you can go home, and I won t report you or call your parents. Does that seem fair?"
Kurt nodded his head quickly, eager to ameliorate his situation before she changed her mind. "That sounds great, Mrs. 801. When should I start?" "You can start right now, Kurt. I need to go to a teacher s meeting, but I should be back in two hours. If you have the graded by then, you can go. Otherwise, I won t really have any choice but to take the usual route. OK?" Kurt reached for the stack of papers as she headed for the door. Suddenly something occurred to him. "Mrs. 801?" She paused in the doorway and looked back at him, eyes shining. "Yes, Kurt?" "What was the constraint?" She gave him a quick smile and said, "Oh, nothing that really matters. You ll see." With that she closed the door, and Kurt heard her key turn in the lock. Kurt stiffened, but realized that Mrs. 801 probably didn t want anyone coming in and seeing what she was having her students do.
Hard-on raging, he pulled the first off the stack and began to read.
"Of all my ribald experiences, the most retentious is a chronicle of my dalliance with the contralto of my local church choir ."
Kurt stopped reading for a second and rubbed his eyes. He couldn t understand any of that sentence. Maybe it would become clearer later on. He struggled through the story, trying to find the sex part.
" Her body quavered and her resonant voice ululated as I thrust my adamant spar into her pyrexic stope "
Was that it? He couldn t even tell. He put the down and searched the room for a dictionary. The bookshelves were filled with grammar books, books on format, biographies, textbooks and great works, but no dictionaries. Not even a thesaurus. He thought about going to the school library to find one, but remembered that the door was locked. His throat constricted, and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead as he realized the apocryphal nature of Mrs. 801 s "compromise". She had never intended to let him off easy, it was just a dilatory guile to prolong his agony! How could he have been so fatuous? He cursed his teacher s ruthlessness, but he realized that reading the confusing stories was the only way to put off his incipient humiliation. Wearily, he picked up the next and began to read.
"My latest inamorata is not only blessed with flaxen hair and a pneumatic soma, but in spirit she is also a quintessential libertine. Rarely can I contemplate a lecherous thought that has not already been assessed by her fescennine psyche. One forenoon, we were juxtaposed atop her divan when a rap on the portal proclaimed the arrival of one of her cognates. For most, this would mean the quashing of our prurient bivouac, but for my roué, it was only an incitement to further licentiousness ." THE ABROGATION
"It is only the great who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great." -Havelock Ellis ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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