Celeste's Top 20 - March, 1998
Note: Even though guest reviewers write the posted reviews of some of these
stories, I read any that I think may be likely to win a monthly or
annual award. I personally take responsibility {and blame} for these lists.
If someone else wants to publish an alternate list of awards, that's fine with
me.
Second Note: Since many readers would like to read the top for each
month, I have suggested that authors might like to repost as many of these
stories as possible. However, we may have a better solution. Beginning with
this issue, I am going to post LINKS after each in the Top 20
List. By pasting these into the appropriate line of your web browser, you
should be able to go straight to that story. Please give me your feedback
regarding the effectiveness of this procedure.
Third Note: I have also had great success finding these on the World
Wide Web by using the Deja News Server (www.dejanews.com). In addition, most
of these have been posted and archived through
alt.sex.stories.moderated. You can even find past issues of my reviews
through these services.
Fourth Note: To be eligible for my Top 20 List for any month, I have to have
read the for the first time that month and reviewed it in CR.
Therefore, reposted whose reviews I repost are not eligible
(unless they are substantially revised), but an "old" that comes to my
attention and is reviewed for the first time would be eligible. If anyone
else wants to post a "rival" Top 20 list, feel free to do so. You can even
include my reviews, if you don't want to write your own.
- Celeste
Here's this month's Top 20 List:
{Note: Because Eli was having trouble with his archive for most of the month,
I am including DejaNews links for all possible stories. However these
x9.dejanews.com may be unstable. I'd like to express my appreciation to
Sandman for helping with these Links.}
1. "Scandia: A Swedish Rhapsody" by Day Dreamer (sex at
first sight)
http://x1.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=185581604
2. "Ask Me Anything" by TMC (romance)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=331473300
3. "Janey's January" by Janey (swapping husbands)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=331473347
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=330936315
4. "Janey's February" by Janey (orgy)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334665895
5. "An Outsider's Education" by fcp (romance & sexual emergence)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=333790331
6. "Terror in the 100 Acre Wood" by Jill (children's
literature parody)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=330553974
7. "My Six Year Itch" by Anne Arbor (one-nighter)
http://x5.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=326055093
8. "Alice" by Pan (academic exhibitionism)
http://x5.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328591267
9. Rag Doll" by LeAnna (infidelity & revenge)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=332488178
10. "Remember Ol' Stretch's Train?" by PleaseCain (gang bang)
http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334376039
11. "Something Borrowed" by S. Leigh Farmer (TG mistaken identity)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336307629 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336373264 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336373276 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336373290 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336373300 05
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336373312 06
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336373323 07
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336376684 08
12. "The Tasting" by A Pulp Fan (sexy romp)
http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=332781376
13. "Scene from a Writer at Work" by Artie (romantic quickie)
http://x5.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=327659978
14. "Irina" by Mark Aster (sex & political intrigue)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=331187975
15. "Motel" by Anne Arbor (silent lovemaking)
http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334671101
16. "The Behind the Fantasy" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (sex
fantasies)
(See Mary Anne's website at http://www.iam.com/maryanne)
17. "Making Sacrifices" by Jove (romance & trust)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=335050924
18. "The Lawyer from Akron" by SR (cybersex)
http://x10.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=330253547
19. "And Now, Introducing..." by Mattemeo (sex with dead wife)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334433264
20. "Revelations" by Sven the Elder (expiatory menage a trois)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336298243
Here are this month's reviews in alphabetical order:
"Alice" by Pan (pan@nym.alias.net). The guy is a 45-year-old heterosexual
male history teacher. The woman is a female student in his class. She likes
to turn him on. She does this unobtrusively in class, but she does it even
more emphatically in the gym. She designs her exhibitionism so that nobody
except the teacher is likely to notice that she is coming on to him. The
exhibitionism gets pretty hot!
The following is not a moral lecture. I obviously LIKED this story. But the
question I'd like to raise is, what is the actual policy for teachers
regarding sex with students? Would a teacher be in serious trouble for doing
what the narrator does in this story? I think the answer is YES, if anybody
in a position of authority found out about it.
Most colleges, I think, have a policy against coercive sex; and since the
teacher is in a position of authority (giving the grade), I think colleges may
ban sex with students (because the student may feel coerced to "put out" in
order to get a decent grade). In addition, if we alter the present just
a little, we could have the student blackmailing the teacher: "Give me a good
grade or I'll show the dean my email from you."
I honestly don't know what the policy is at most colleges or how prevalent sex
is between students and teachers on campuses. If the rules are what I
think they are and if I were an unscrupulous lawyer, I think I would place an
advertisement in the newspaper, announcing that I would for a small
fee enhance the wealth of any student who has been having sex with a
professor.
Even so, this is a darned good fantasy!
"And Now, Introducing..." by Mattemeo (mattemeo@hotmail.com). The begins
with Robert Weitekamp drunk in his basement. As she usually does when he gets
in these moods, his has gone out and left him alone. It seems he's still
stressed out over the death of his former and just can't get over her.
But then he hears his coming into the house. But wait; it's not her -
it's his first wife! She has come back to fuck his brains out one last time
and to tell him that it's OK to go on with his life.
But what's all that got to do with the title: "And Now, Introducing..."?
Hmmm... If you knew that you'd know the whole story.
This was a short but very good story. I really enjoyed it.
"Ask Me Anything" by TMC (ck29@anon.nymserver.com). This is creative,
romantic, and poetic. It's difficult to summarize. You can read it in 2.5
minutes. I suggest that you do so.
"The Behind the Fantasy" by Mary Anne Mohanraj
(moh2@rainbow.uchicago.edu). I haven't reviewed a by this author in a
long time. She recently sent three to me, and I'll review one in each of the
next three issues of CR. I presume the author will post the around
the time I review them.
This one is impossible to summarize. Let me just say that it contains well-
written, sexy, summaries of something like fourteen sexual fantasies, loosely
integrated under the theme of fantasies being told to a male from a female
viewpoint. That may sound like nothing more than what I do in these reviews;
but let me assure you, it is.
"Irina" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). This is greatly different
from what we normally expect from this author. It combines sex and political
intrigue - a combination that will obviously be unfamiliar to American and
British readers. It's an exceptionally well written story, but too complex
for me to attempt to summarize here. Don't let that scare you away. It's an
excellent, sexy story.
"Janey's February" by Janey. "What does one wear to a small, informal orgy?
Ooops... I'm getting ahead of myself. Janey and the gang from "Janey's
January" (CR 265) have migrated to Florida to get away from the unpleasant
winter in Boston and to soak up some vitamin D.
But Florida is not a lot of fun when it rains in February - unless you can
think of something else to do. Let's see.... Maybe they could go back to the
motel and fuck one another's brains out. And so they do.
Janey doesn't do women - at least not at the beginning of the trip, but she
thinks it would be interesting to watch a really accomplished woman in action.
And that's what her friend Beth is: a really accomplished woman in action -
sort of like the Mona Lisa in bra, panties, and long white stockings, sitting
down her legs up in the air. Hence the enigmatic smile. Tough act to follow.
But Janey holds her own - well, not actually her own....
Ya know, the nuns taught me that if you tempt someone into sin, that's even
worse than being the sinner yourself. If that nun was right, this author is
going to have serious problems on judgment day!
Seriously, this is good stuff. This author writes extremely well. I'm not
going to give a moral lecture - really, I'm not; but for reasons I have
discussed elsewhere, I have no intention of ever engaging in a similar orgy.
I find it very time- and energy-consuming {and very rewarding} to have a
really great relationship with one man. I suspect that these descriptions of
idyllic relationships that involve several other people would be improbable in
real life - at least in my own real life. Even when I get upset with my
husband, I figure it's better to work it out than to check out the grass on
the other side of the fence, which probably won't turn out to be so green
after all.
Lots of holy people agree with me. What these self-righteous prudes don't
realize, however, is that a good is still a good story. It's just plain
stupid to deny that it would be fun to do what these people do in this -
assuming (as the does) that it could all happen without hurting anyone.
As Shakespeare put it, "There ain't nothin' wrong with a vicarious
experience."
That's the value of a good story: if I'm going to have a vicarious experience,
it sure as hell had better be a good one. I'm looking forward to Janey's
"March" through "December."
"Janey's January" by Janey. Guest review by Sandman. (sandman@bitsmart.com).
I have certain preferences when it comes to the I like to read. I
love a where there's an overall flavor of reality; I love a where
I can get to know the principals before everyone starts hopping into bed; and
I really love well written that combine both of the above. This most definitely qualifies as all of the above.
Janey, who is to Bob, is talking to Beth who is to Steve when
Beth says Steve has a crush on Janey. What follows is a rather long
flirtation filled with excitement, humor and doubt before the inevitable
happens along with an expected twist at the end. OK, the sex wasn't the
hottest thing ever written, but the attempted a flavor of reality and in
reality sex is rarely earth shattering and life-changing.
Actually this summary really doesn't do this justice. It's like
analyzing a Steven King novel. Break down a Steven King plot and you're going
to be laughing your ass off; the trick is all in how ole Mr. King manages to
write so folksy he can blind you to the improbability of what is actually
happening. Janey makes this husband-swapping believable and very fun in
much the same way Mr. King can make us believe a car can be possessed. The
devil of course is in the details, and that's exactly where this shines.
Now here is a personal note to the author and would-be authors: In this day
and age there's no excuse not to have an e-mail box so that readers (like me)
can read these and write a short note that hopefully will encourage
more such stories. Free e-mail boxes can be obtained at hotmail.com,
lycos.com, yahoo.com, and the granddaddy of them all juno.com. Writers, being
a creative lot should have no trouble inventing fictional "real" names and
addresses these sites ask for. You can even visit www.netforward.com and set
up a forwarding address to get that last measure of control over your
anonymity.
This is exactly the sort of I'd read and then sit down to write a short
note to the author saying how much I enjoyed it and how much I look forward to
seeing future stories. Since I've been deprived of that I guess this review
will have to suffice; I just hope Janey reads the CR!
Since Celeste has found out we're neighbors she's been sending me an awful lot
of really good (probably in hopes of keeping me so busy reading good
stories I don't have time to write the Celeste's wine bottle chapter). This
one definitely ranks among the best of the best that I've reviewed. It's
certainly getting my recommendation as a good read.
"The Lawyer from Akron" purports to be a captured chat session between the
eponymous lawyer and a chatroom temptress using the name Paranoid. I'm not an
aficionado of online chat, but this piece has the ring of authenticity to it.
After some flirtatious banter and getting to know each other, the pair get
down to a hot description of his preferences in getting head, and her
preferences in giving it. If anyone finds the early parts of the a bit
slow, the final few paragraphs should more than make up for it.
Rereading the for purposes of this review, I had some difficulty with
the first two ratings. The plot is minimal, the character development limited
by the chosen format. Punctuation and capitalization seem natural for a chat
session in which the chatters don't deem such niceties important. I decided
that both are appropriate to the story, and gave it 10s all around.
BTW, readers who enjoy this will be pleased to learn that the author
posted several other pieces in similar format (chat sessions) although with a
variety of plots. They're worth a search on DejaNews, or a trip to Eli's ASSM
Archive when it is back up.
"Making Sacrifices" by Jove. Guest reviewed by Poison Ivan
(poisoniv1@hotmail.com). Miss J's are available at
http://www.cadvision.com/buis/jove/place.html.
Amy has problems. Jonathon is an all-right guy, but Amy can't stand to have
him touch her in an intimate way. And Jonathon is fed up with waiting. And
Amy is furious that he's fed up. And Amy suddenly finds herself abandoned in
a sleazy part of town. Fortunately, Jonathon's Dean lives
nearby, so Amy pays Dean an unexpected late night visit.
Amy is comfortable with Dean; Dean is open to listening; and Amy needs to get
something off her chest. Eventually the explanations come out, and some of the
details are ugly, ugly, ugly. Many tears are shed, and for good reason.
Amy's is not a pleasant story.
Dean, being the sensitive guy that he is, volunteers to restore Amy's trust in
the male sex, and there follows a long, slow, careful love-making scene,
complete with stops and starts and awkward moments. When barriers are finally
broken, the action heats up, and the sex is a very tender and very hot.
This was first posted a couple weeks ago, and that version had quite a
few technical problems, but most of those have been fixed in this latest
posting. The Dean character was just a tad too sensitive for my tastes, but
that is a minor complaint. "Making Sacrifices" is a very nice about the
importance of trust, and the damage that can happen when trust is violated. I
highly recommend this story.
"Motel" by Anne Arbor (AnneArbor@hotmail.com). The man's has been
visiting him for three weeks. Three weeks of celibacy, him in his house, his
girlfriend in hers. Then four nights in a shared tent in a crowded
campground. And now, as they are finally returning the to her in Phoenix, our narrator is showered and comfortable and horny beyond
desperation.
You young'uns out there! This is what you have to look forward to. You think
it's hard to sneak away for sex now! Wait until you have this hot
relationship with this sexy and you know he's been watching your ass all
day and longing to stick that warm and friendly cock inside your even
friendlier - THEN you'll be able to identify with the people in this
story.
As an adolescent, I was almost certain my never had sex. I shared
motel rooms and tents with them, and they never did anything to lead me to
suspect that they were up to hanky panky. I have a friend with eleven
siblings who is equally certain that her never had sex. Maybe I'll
give a call tonight and read this to her over the phone.
Note: The best way to handle the situation described in this is to ask
the receptionist when you make the reservation at the motel whether the air
conditioner has a fan that will continue blowing all night long. She'll
probably say, "Yes. But that will be five dollars extra for each of the
children sleeping in the same room with you and your honey."
"My Six Year Itch" by Anne Arbor (AnneArbor@hotmail.com). Guest review by
Father Angelico.
{Father Angelico purports to have a cable show on the Internal Word
Television Network. The IWTN appears to be nonsensical, and should probably
not be viewed by people who are easily beguiled by lunatics. Comments
inserted in brackets are mine.}
This is a about perverts - vile, wicked, depraved, degenerate perverts.
The husband and have begun to take each other for granted. Instead of
doing something constructive - like going to church together {or reading
Celestial Reviews out loud to each other} - the husband goes on a business
trip and the meets a wicked and immoral at a seminar at work.
Beware of Australians! There is something inherently wrong with people who
take pride in being "down under."
She doesn't say "no," and he takes that as a "maybe", which is really a tacit
"yes". She wants to feel him making love to her more than he wants to tell him
to stop and let her think logically. With her husband it's lovemaking, but
with this lover it's raw sex, and she likes the difference. Alas and woe! I'd
like to turn this evil vixen over my knee and spank her little ass! She gives
new meaning to the word flagitious!
This was a despicable story! Just say NO to sex!
"An Outsider's Education" by fcp (fcp2718@poboxes.com). Set in the exotic
environment of Princeton University during March Madness, this is a romantic
story about strangely normal students falling in love and having sex
for the first time. You'll probably understand the a little better if
you know something about basketball {otherwise you'll miss the irony of
Princeton students, who are actually students, playing in a major tournament
against professional amateurs from the rest of the United States) and "the
black experience" in America {otherwise you'll miss a major part of Tracy's
emotional background}. However, even if you are uninformed regarding this
topics, you can use this as a pleasant entry-point to expand your
cultural horizons.
For perfectly good reasons, Tracy has grown deeply attached to Don; and for
perfectly good reasons she says no when he suggests they make love. For
equally good reasons, her refusal stresses Tracy out, and her two closest
friends counsel her. In the process everyone discloses details about their
adolescent sexual experiences. The eventual first time between Tracy and
Donald is extremely sexy and romantic.
Cultural footnotes: "That's all right, that's okay. You're going to work for
us someday!" That's Princeton's informal official cheer. "Hope springs
eternal in the human breast...." That's in either the Constitution or "Casey
at the Bat."
The most realistic passage in this is this brief one: ""Oh no, not Dick
Vitale! Get the ear-plugs!" {Note to foreigners: DV is a loud-mouthed,
demonstrably ignorant basketball announcer who uses abbreviations in absurd
situations. His advice to prevent pregnancy would be, "OK, baybeee. No S
tonight without a C."}
This is not perfect: for example, I think the resolution of Tracy's
relationship with her is hasty and contrived. But this is an
exceptionally good story. Don't miss it!
"Rag Doll" by LeAnna (kalika@main.provost.msu.edu). Although it still has a
few minor errors {e.g., "had bore" for "had borne"}, this is an extremely
creative, well-written story.
In a sense, this is a spouse-watching story. The knows her husband has
been on her. She has confronted the Other Woman - in fact, she has
had sex with the other woman while extracting the details of the liaison from
her. Now she has handcuffed her husband and is retelling the those details to
him, while she forces him to pleasure her.
What I like best about this is that it does NOT make the naive
assumption that the who catches her husband will forgive him, as
long as she can join in on the fun. But the way in which the author declines
to make this assumption is very creative indeed.
I trust my husband. I really do. But I have jokingly told him that if he
ever messes around on me, I'll scratch the other woman's eyes out and then cut
off his dick. This lady may have a better idea.
{Note: A guest reviewer also submitted a spontaneous review for this story.
Therefore, there is a second review of this later in this issue of CR.}
"Rag Doll" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). Guest review by Stephen Peters
(sxjames@aol.com). This is archived at the author's site:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/2194/
She's beautiful and sexy, has a good house in an upscale suburban
neighborhood, but her oh-so-successful husband has been up to no good.
Specifically, he's been screwing his secretary. What's a gal to do? Well, she
gets revenge. And, in 300 or so lines, LeAnna shows us at its
sweetest, sexiest -- and its most poignant.
I really liked this story, not the least because of the detailed, lush and
very erotic seduction/teasing scene that makes up the bulk of the tale. The
un-named meets her husband (Todd) in the bedroom after work, but instead
of the promised sex Todd ends up handcuffed to the bed post while his describes in extended, delicious detail her conversation (and later sex) with
the woman he had been fucking on the side. To add to the hot talk she climbs
all over Todd's body, mercilessly teasing the poor fool, driving Todd (not to
mention this reviewer) to the point of leaking...well, you get the idea. Yes,
she lets Todd know *exactly* what he is throwing away by his infidelity. And
throw it away he does. You see, the true strength of this is that Todd
never really believes what is coming. He seems to think if he apologizes and
gets his it will all be better. Poor fool.
Technically, the rates a 9. There was one typo, (she 'tasted' the tinge
of her husbands in his lovers pussy, not 'felt') and a few awkward
sentences, but this did not seriously distract from my enjoyment. Again, the
interplay between Todd and his was excellent, and the dialog rang true --
solid 10 for plot and character. All in all, I highly recommend this tale,
and hope to read a lot more from this author.
"Remember Ol' Stretch's Train?" by PleaseCain (pleasecain@aol.com). Some
people - really silly people, I might add - insist that I never give favorable
reviews or positive ratings to that are about topics that I dislike.
Those people should note that this is a favorable review and these are high
ratings. They should also note that I do not like or approve of what happens
in this story.
I really can't tell you what the is about. The main strength of the
story lies in the way it gradually reveals to the reader what's happening. It
accomplishes its strong impact by using ethnic dialogue creatively and by
juxtaposing events that are clear but at first don't make sense together.
Don't read this when you want to get a hard-on or have an orgasm. But
be sure to read it.
"Revelations" by Sven the Elder (sventheelder@hotmail.com). "Christ, Fran,
what are you doing?" Sven asks; "I'm trying to be a gentleman, and you're
making it very hard." Very hard indeed. Fran has been a widow for about
fifteen years, while Sven and Pam have been her close friends. Now Pam has
sent Sven over to Fran's house to give her a hand, and Fran seems interested
in more than a hand or two birds in her bush.
Seduction being inevitable, Sven relaxes and enjoys it. But isn't he being
disloyal to the pulchritudinous but proper Pam? Well, no; she's part of the
plan. Pam the Prude of the Parish has recently at Fran's invitation been in
the sack with Ben of the Baloney Pony with whom she crossed her Rubicon. To
make amends to Sven, Pam has offered him to Fran, and now she has come to make
sure her atonement has been satisfactory.
I guess this beats a simple apology and a month's worth of groveling. This is
an story, but Sven tells it very nicely.
"Scandia: A Swedish Rhapsody" by Day Dreamer. Guest Review by Sandman
(sandman@bitsmart.com).
As I read the first part of the where Neil meets the Swedish Onny at a
party I was already thinking, "This is probably a triple ten story." The
character descriptions were breathtaking in their detail, and while the "love
and my place or yours" at first sight forum moved maybe a little to quickly
for me, it wasn't that jarring. The enamored couple ditch the party and head
to Onny's apartment where they have some of the most vividly described oral
sex I've ever seen in an on these newsgroups.
It is probably one of the more novel premises of a that after the oral
sex they share their (who they are, what they're looking for) as they
caress each other after the first moment of passion. In some we learn
about the characters before the sex happens, in others we learn about the
characters through the sex, in this one we learn about the characters after
the sex.
The comprises a Thursday night, Friday night, and Saturday morning. It
is almost 100K of pure, vividly described sex with two very exciting,
romantic, and obviously infatuated characters. I personally was a bit
disappointed at the ending, where we learn one more thing about the
characters. Other readers will probably be completely intrigued by what I
thought was a disturbing and unnecessary tangent. That said, the ending did
not disturb me enough to affect the overall appeal.
"Scandia" is a BEAUTIFULLY written, tender, romantic, hot, erotic story, and
it definitely has my recommendation as an enjoyable read.
There is also an un-reviewed sequel posted at
http://x1.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=186915487
"Scene from a Writer at Work" by Artie (artie@netgate.net). As I read the
first part of this story, I said to myself, "Self, this is a pretty good
story, but the author seems to have the verb tenses a bit screwed up." Then
the narrator himself says to his wife, "It's okay for a first draft; I need to
go over it a few times. I may have shifted verb tenses in there." Gotcha! Ya
see, the narrator is an author, writing a and following the highly
useful practice of not worrying about grammatical details during the first
draft but being careful to polish his writing before publishing it.
So the writer's looks over his shoulder and says, "Why don't you ever
right about me?" And he says, "You mean like this?" And they jointly compose
and act out a very short but intense erotic escapade. The has little
plot development, but it's still excellent.
"Something Borrowed" by S. Leigh Farmer (alias@pseudo.nym.org). Guest review
by Robert (Citizen@GalaxyCorp.com).
Lisa is in town to help her best friend, Denise, celebrate her impending
wedding to Matt. Unfortunately, due to a case of mistaken identity and a
couple of magic amulets, Lisa and Matt wind up in each other's body on the day
of the wedding. This causes no small amount of confusion as they try to: 1)
figure out how they got swapped, 2) figure out how to get unswapped, 3)
prepare for the wedding later that evening, and 4) keep Denise (and everyone
else) from finding out what's happened.
The closely follows how each of them attempts to act as a member of the
opposite sex. It is very much unlike your typical TG story, which seems to be
mostly women forcing into dresses and making them like it. This is an
exceedingly well-written that is long on characterization, plot, and
emotional development. The sex is very well described and quite arousing, but
it is by no means the whole tale.
The is also quite long (over 300K). This is a great to spend
several evenings reading. Or, if you prefer, devote a few hours on the
weekend. It's worth it.
"Terror in the 100 Acre Wood" by Jill (redjill@aol.com). This review is
the personal opinion of Kim, who can be contacted at ghost@nym.alias.net.
Well now, here's a thing. I'll bet not many of you expected to see a review of
a involving repeated snuffs, a rape, infanticide, sickening violence and
more squicks than you can shake a honey jar at. And what's more, I expect even
fewer expected the rating I'm giving it.
OK, I'll come clean. This is a very black, black comedy. Jill has obviously
had enough of the loathsomly cute Disney representation of the much better
books by A.A. Milne of the inhabitants of the Hundred Acre Wood.
In Jill's dystopian vision, Pooh has got himself a smack habit and in a fit of
revulsion at the continued patronizing by Christopher Robin proceeds to
dismember him with an ax. The deed done, Pooh sets out to rid the woods of all
the other characters who annoy him, with the notable exception of Rabbit,
who's become his supplier.
Quite how Pooh dispatches the others I'll leave to you to find out. As a piece
of black comedy writing I can find no fault. Maybe attributing the "Pooh
Goes Apeshit" to A.A. Milne himself is going a bit too far in the satire
stakes, if only for possible legal reasons. But ignoring that slight quibble,
I thought it brilliantly funny, very well written, and a joy to read.
"The Tasting" by A Pulp Fan (pulpfan@anon.nymserver.com). Guest review by
Sven the Elder.
I have to be truthful and admit that I am not a follower of some of the more
obscure genres of that get published in our community. By and large many
do not do a lot for me, and I'm afraid that as a result I don't tend to either
download or read them.
>From time to time though, I do read some by authors that I would not
normally consider. "The Tasting" by A Pulp Fan comes under that heading. I am
not sure why I chose to download and have a look; but I did, and I am glad I
did so. This is a delightful ramble through a well constructed scenario. The
prose is good, tight and properly fabricated, this is an English essay that,
but for it's subject matter, would gain an A or A+ within any writing group.
The starts with the narrator muttering about being dragged along to a
wine tasting by his girlfriend. Her boss is filthy rich and "he had made
most of his fortune the fashioned way -- he inherited it" A line I rather
liked. Our Hero becomes bored and wanders off into the grounds of the mansion
and is waylaid, in all sorts of senses of the word, by a relative of the
owner. She takes him round the estate and to parts of the house, and her,
that he had not envisaged covering. We finish up with a twist or two based on
the title of the piece.
This is a well-crafted and erotic that will bring a gentle smile to your
face, and a healthy glow to other parts of the anatomy. Well worth the
download and read of this author's first foray away from his normal writing.
I hope it will not be his last.
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