Halloween: A Wife's Gift {Redman}
(c ) October 2000
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Authors Note: The lack of codes for this work is
an intentional device of the author. An author's note
at the end explains my reasoning. If you think you
might be offended by that, please accept my invitation
not to read this story. I would be interested in any
comments or corrections that readers might care to
share with me. I can be reached at
redman@seductive.com.
If you're a minor or it is illegal where you live to
read erotic literature with frank sexual themes,
please to not read this work of fiction.
Halloween: A Wife's Gift
When I was a it was hard to even think about being
married, much less for twenty years. I was
only a when I met Janet, barely nineteen. I
had gone to a party with a friend on Halloween, but I
didn't know anyone. It was an crowd than I was
used to. My buddy was dating the hostess's younger
sister, so as soon as we got there, he on me to
be with her.
A dressed as a pirate asked me to dance. Even
though we were both masking, there was something about
her that I found alluring. She was forward enough to
ask me to dance, but she was shy and allusive too.
The pretty pirate was and from the moment of
that dance, we were together. We left the party with
her and her sister's date to get some coffee.
We talked for hours, learning about each other, shyly
flirting with one another. She was 23 and fresh out of
college in her first real job. I had quit school after
three semesters and was a bookstore manager at the
mall. It was my first real job too. Even though the
pay was lousy and the hours were long, I thought I was
doing something special.
Neither one of those jobs lasted in the long run, but
our relationship did. On the third night I knew her,
Janet took me to her apartment. It was mostly empty
because she spent almost all of her time at her
parent's house. I remember looking in her refrigerator
and there was nothing but a carton of orange juice and
a bottle of honey. That night I willingly lost my
virginity, but I unintentionally found the love of my
life, the one woman that I wanted to grow and gray
with.
We lived together for a year and a half. We were never
apart. We married. Four years later we had our only
child. I was in the delivery room when they induced
labor. I saw Lisa being born. I held her in my arms
and she was quite small. It was one of the best days
of my life - of our lives.
It wasn't always easy, those twenty years. We went
through ups and downs, but through everything we had
each other. We worked. We raised our daughter. We
lived simple lives that were centered on our mutual
love and respect.
Shortly after our twentieth anniversary, began
experiencing discomfort during intercourse. We had
always had an active sex life. I can't say we were the
most adventurous couple, but we both most enjoyed
pleasing the other. We fulfilled each other's physical
needs as easily as we fulfilled each other's emotional
and spiritual needs. We had always just seemed to -
fit- together.
Her OB/GYN ran test. After a week or so, they did a
biopsy. had pre-cancerous uterine cells. In June
she had minor surgery, scrapping the lining of the
uterus and removing a few polyps that concerned her
doctor. They put her on medication. She recovered.
In September, the symptoms reoccurred. Her doctor told
Janet that the only alternative was to have a
hysterectomy.
We were worried, of course, but it's a common
procedure. I thought we were happy with just Lisa, but
in the days before the operation, began to mourn
all the children she had never borne and now, never
would. After a while though, we laughed uneasily about
it together. We were both in our forties. Neither one
of us had really wanted children that late in life.
I was holding in our kitchen several days before
her surgery, just silently expressing our love for
each other. Lisa was in the dining room where we could
see her, gathering her books for school. She is long
and willowy like her used to be. I never knew
her at sixteen, but at twenty-three she had
looked a lot like Lisa looked right now. She was tall,
thin and graceful. Lisa could have been a dancer but
had chosen to play piano and take voice lessons.
"I think the one we had turned out pretty nice. She
reminds me of her mother, don't you think?" I asked
Janet, both of us looking at her daughter.
"I don't remember being that thin and I don't think I
was ever that beautiful." had gained some weight
but she was always that beautiful to me. Over the
years she had gone from a 34B to a 38D as she had
gained weight and aged, but I had loved her body and
her through all their changes. She was a
lovely, passionate woman and she was my wife.
I remember sitting in the waiting room with her
family. I hate hospitals and was nervous about
being in surgery, but everything was fine so far. I
had seen her as they were giving her the initial
injection to put her under. I had kissed her gently.
Her last words for me were not to worry. That was
funny for both of us. was always the worrier.
One moment everything was fine, there in the waiting
room. Then I felt it. It was like a sudden wave of
sadness and loss washing through me. The depth and
abruptness of it overwhelmed me, like a sudden punch
in the midsection. I knew, without knowing why, that
something was terribly wrong. As I began running to
find Janet, the nurse that administered her injection
was coming toward me. She grabbed my hand and led me
to a set of surgical doors and told me to wait. The
doctor had to talk to me.
When he walked out, there was so much blood. At first,
it reminded me of the day that Lisa was born, but this
was different. He said something about complications.
They were still trying. Don't give up hope.
As he walked back through the doors, I slid down the
wall until I couldn't slide any deeper. The doors to
surgery swung back and forth three times until they
stopped. I remember it more clearly than a million
other more important facts that I have forgotten over
the years. The doors swung back and forth three times
before they stopped.
Whatever the doctor thought he was working on, it
wasn't Janet. was gone. It was as clear and as
profound a thought as I had ever had. Wherever she
was, she wasn't here. And a part of my soul went with
her.
I held together for a while. I arranged the Mass. I
bought the plot. I spoke to the lawyers that Janet's
sisters wanted to hire. They said someone had screwed
up. There would be damages. I got mad for about a
minute and a half and broke some things. Then the gray
numbness returned. Nothing that lawyers could do would
bring back. I told them to do whatever they
needed to do. They could do anything except ask me to
care.
I wasn't a very good just then, I suppose. Lisa
and I mourned together once. I held her that day and
for just a moment, I cared about someone else. Her
hair was a rich black, her dress a deep, royal blue
and her nose was as as mine from the tears. But as
soon as the moment ended, all of the color drained
from my life again and the gray numbness returned.
Lisa stayed with a friend one night and I drank myself
into a stupor. But it didn't help. Neither did the
sleeping pills. My doctor prescribed anti-depressants
but somehow it seemed wrong to take them. They
couldn't fill the emptiness in my soul.
On October 31, our parish had a Mass in preparation
for All Saints Day on November 1. The priest had made
a special point in inviting me. It was a Mass to honor
all those that had died this year. We had never been
particularly devout, but had gone to Mass more
often, especially on holidays. It sounded like
something she would have gone to. I felt I needed to
go in her place.
But there was no consolation there. Even when they
read her name, I didn't feel anything. wasn't
there. Nothing that the priest said brought her back
to life for me or filled the emptiness. It was worse
than being numb. I left, vowing to never go back.
I went home and Lisa was preparing to go to a
Halloween party. She asked me if it was alright if she
went. I should have cared I suppose, but I couldn't. I
sat in our den as the sun set, watching the shadows
cross the floor as night fell. The sounds of her
preparation floated through the house: a bath running,
a hair dryer and an occasional fragment of an aria in
Italian that she would sing. I heard without
listening. I sat without thinking.
She came bounding down the stairs on her long legs and
as soon as she saw me she started fussing that I was
sitting in the dark. It was too much like something
her would have done. My grief threatened to
overwhelm me once more, but I pushed it back. My
daughter didn't need to see it anymore. Not when she
was finally going out again. I realized I hadn't heard
her singing since before.
Lisa hugged my neck in the darkness and told me not to
wait up. I wish I could have given her more. I had
been such a terrible lately. But I felt too
empty to give anything else.
I should show some interest in her life, I thought. At
least I could fake it, for her mother's sake.
"Will you be late?"
"Not too late, Dad. Mary will drive me home."
"What are you wearing to the party?"
"The only thing I could throw together at the last
minute. I didn't know if I would feel like going. Turn
the light on by your chair and tell me if it looks
OK."
It wasn't an exact match. She had on the same black
leotards and the same type of black body suit. She had
made the hat a little different, but the felt eyepatch
was about the same.
The pirate that stood before me could have been the
same one I had met twenty-two years before. If she had
asked me to dance, it might have been more than I
could have borne.
Somehow I choked out that she looked lovely and turned
the light out as quickly as I could.
As soon as she was gone, that same wave of grief swept
over me again. More grief than I could abide. I lay on
our bed and I cursed God. I cursed the whole universe
that would take away the one person I cared about more
than anything else in the world. She deserved to live
more than I did. Why not me, instead?
I had grieved for a month. Tonight, I felt the last
full measure of grief.
I slept, exhausted. When I awoke, I was naked on the
bed. One instant I had been overwhelmed by sadness.
The next, everything changed.
There was dim light coming through the blinds of the
window. I could see well enough to know that I was
alone, but I had a sudden sense I was not. The LED
clock read 11:58.
For the first time in a month, the overwhelming
emptiness was gone. Even through my stuffy nose, I
could smell Janet. I had lived with her for more than
twenty years. I knew her as intimately as any had
every known anyone. I couldn't see her, but she was
here. It didn't make sense, but she was here. The
emptiness that was in my soul was filled. She was
here.
The air thickened and swirled. I felt touch me,
first, lightly on the cheek. I tried to grab her, but
there was nothing. Then I felt her hands and lips on
my chest, moving sensuously over my body. When they
reached my groin, I was instantly erect. All the
passion of our twenty years together seemed to fill me
in a moment.
I pleaded to see her - to hold her. There was nothing
but the gentle swirling air and the fragrance of my
dead in the air.
Then as suddenly as the air had stirred, it stopped.
Her fragrance lingered, but began to fade. Even so,
she was still here. I could still feel her.
In the sharp quiet, I heard footsteps. I could hear
her. was coming. I could feel her presence,
walking toward me in the darkness. Then I saw her,
beautiful and naked, walking toward the end of our
bed.
Janet looked at me with those wonderful eyes that
always read my soul. I could feel her love and her
passion for me. She began to crawl on the bed toward
me, her bottom sticking high into the air as it always
did.
When reached my waist, her head dipped
familiarly toward my shaft, engulfing me in a moment.
She took me deeply in her warm mouth, like she always
did to tease or reward me for some pleasure I had
given her. Then she pulled back and her tongue
lavished the head in recognizable ways, licking the
surface lovingly. She had done this a thousand times
and a thousand times it had made me shiver.
But, I had missed her too long for even this delight.
The next time she engulfed me, I put my hands deep
into Janet's hair and drew her up toward me. I needed
to hold her so badly.
I grabbed her fiercely, pulling her toward me and
holding her as firmly as anyone who has felt so great
a loss can hold. I tasted her sweet breath and those
lovely, familiar lips and the tongue that knew my own
so intimately. always loved to kiss and we
shared a kiss like I have never shared with any other
woman except her.
She raised her leg, taking my penis in her hand with
practiced ease, placing the head at the entrance of
her sex. She slowly eased herself down on me, smiling
that same hungry smile she always gave me on first
penetration. Before she took it entirely, she let me
reach down and spread her labia gently with my thumbs
like we both enjoyed so much. Then she set down firmly
until we fitted together perfectly once more.
We held each other. The warmth of her, the smell of
her, the feeling of being buried inside her was all I
needed to feel whole. My heart felt lighter than the
ceiling could contain and we were suddenly both
crying. But there was no sadness - except the sadness
that it had been so long.
We began to move together with the practiced ease of
long familiar lovers. Each touch was not just the
sensation of flesh on flesh; it was also the memory of
every time we had touched just like that before. It
was twenty years of passion and love. It was twenty
years of intimacy and pleasure.
We built together, perfectly matched in the need for
completion and yet with the same strong desire to make
this moment last forever. Her hips began to slow from
exhaustion so I grabbed them and thrust myself into
her more wildly. When she leaned backward and took
each nipple between her finger and her thumb, as she
liked to do, I knew she was very close. Each thrust
became more precious. Each movement brought us closer
to an end.
We arched together like two bows straining and
quivering, vibrating in tandem until the aching arms
of the archers can bear no more. Then we sprang
together in release, her warmth flooding over me, my
warmth spurting into her. We stared wide-eyed,
overwhelmed by the sensations of mutual ecstasy.
It was my Lisa's body that raised up off of
me. It was my Lisa's body that lay on my left
side, nuzzling in to me.
But it was my that took my nipple in her
mouth and suckled it, just as she always did when she
wanted to be comforted after sex.
And it was that spoke to me with Lisa's sleepy
voice.
"I can't come back again, Robert. You have to keep on
going. Lisa needs you now."
"I know Janet, but I've been so lonely. You just don't
know."
"I know, love. Don't you think I felt it too?"
"I didn't know you could. If I had just had a chance
to say goodbye. That's all I really wanted."
"It's not goodbye, love. It's never goodbye for you
and me. I'll always be with you."
I held her for a time in silence, wanting it to last
forever.
"Thank you for coming back. Thank you for giving me
this one last chance."
"I wouldn't have missed this for all the world,
Robert. You're my one true love."
"Janet, what will I do without you?"
"You'll go on. You still have Lisa. She's shared this
with us willingly Robert and she'll want more. Don't
deny her."
"I can't do that Janet, she's our daughter!"
"You better do it, or I'll come back to haunt you!"
she said chuckling. "It's only for a while and as much
for her as you. She's promised to another, even though
she doesn't know it. He's almost as special as you
are. But only almost."
"Will I be with you again, eventually?"
"You're always with me, my love. But it will be a
while yet."
"Alright Janet, I'll do what I have to do. But I'll
never stop loving you."
"I know, love. Now sleep. I have to go."
************
Author's note: I hope no one is offended by the lack
of codes. For my own part, I feel as though they
should be {MF rom}, but some people might well be
offended by that and want a {Mf inc} code. Such coding
would not only offend the spirit of the (pun
intended), but it would give away what little surprise
I didn't foreshadow too obviously. I would be
interested in any feedback on this subject. I can be
emailed at redman@seductive.com.
Author's Second Note (Temporary): I am interested in
submitting this for review for Celeste's
Halloween edition. So far I haven't been able to
interest anyone to proof it for me. I would hate to
release it for the public without another pair of eyes
looking for mistakes. If anyone would want to help me
by proofing it before then, I would be willing to put
a permanent word of thanks with the in their
name.
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