Tainted Lime Top 15 List for March 2002
With a week off for spring break, this month's top 15 is based
on a few fewer than before, but that doesn't mean the
stories are of any worse than in previous months. In fact, I
think March boasts the best posted so far this year.
The month started out with a bang, and I was sure the number one
story would come down between theGreatxIam's "The Key to the
Whole Thing" and Selena Jardine's "Curtains." Little did I know
what was to come! Excellent by Nicholas Urfe and Bradley
Stoke complicated the choice, and Selena Jardine pitched in with
another winner in "Home Safe."
When the smoke cleared, "Home Safe" edged out the other stories,
mainly because it struck a personal note. But if you want to find
a good story, pick any on this list. Or better yet, pick them all.
---
Top 15 for March 2002
1. Home Safe, by Selena Jardine
2. The Key to the Whole Thing, by theGreatxIam
3. Curtains, by Selena Jardine
4. giggling, by Nicholas Urfe
5. creamfields, by Bradley Stoke
6. The Dream Lover, by Katherine T.
7. Big Wheel, by theGreatxIam
8. Caught, by Oosh
9. AFTER THE PARTY, by Rogue Writer
10. An Aphrodite Rising, by Sam Cornell
11. Invisible, by ossified
12. Empty Street, by Elliot Mabeuse
13. Calendar, by Mat Twassel and Lorrin Murray
14. Vanessa and Me, Part One, by Shon Richards
15. The Tally, by Bradley Stoke
Do you disagree with my list? Make your voice heard. Nominate
your favorite of the month for a Silver Clitoride Award
at http://www.asstr.org/~gary/Clitorides/Silver_Clitorides.htm.
---
{ASSM} Home Safe
By Selena Jardine <selenajardine@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35763
I have friends who tried for two years to have a baby. They went
to the doctors, they charted, they took temperatures, they ran
tests. Nothing worked. Having a baby just didn't seem to be in
the cards.
Now I wasn't privy to my friends' private conversations. I don't
know for sure if there were accusations, fights, or depression.
But after reading this story, I think I have better insight into
what my friends went through during those two years, and it's
enough to break my heart. This shows a very difficult and
private part of a couple's life.
The is told with an interesting style. Run-on sentences are
used to give it a thoughtful feel. Told in first person from the
husband's point of view, it's a wonderful study of and
frustration.
And in case you're worried about the being too much of a
downer, fear not! Even in the midst of difficult times, people do
find hot sex and more than a little joy.
Oh, and I almost forgot: it has a perfect ending. (Coincidentally,
my friends' ends the same way.)
---
{ASSM} Subway series #5: The Key to the Whole Thing (MF, interr)
By theGreatxIam <max_wojtylak@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35497
The guy in "The Key to the Whole Thing" has the stupidest boss in
the world. Even though they are just bureaucrats in the Department
of Agriculture, his boss makes them work farmer's hours. (Get it?
Agriculture equals farmers?) The only good thing about the work
hours is the sparsely populated subways during the morning and
evening commutes.
Normally the drowsy bureaucrat is content to surreptitiously ogle
the handful of pretty who share his early morning train.
Stephen King Lady, Red, Cleopatra ... they have that little
something special that make those early Washington D.C. mornings
seem just a little bit more bearable.
And then one day, Cleopatra drops her keys. Our hero leans forward
to pick them up for her, and somehow he ends up with his nose
wedged somewhere it ordinarily wouldn't be.
Apparently, sex on a subway can be very fulfilling. And reading
about sex on a subway, especially if this is the subway sex you're reading, can be very fulfilling, too. I can't recommend
this enough. The sex is outstanding, and the narrator knows
how to spin an entertaining even when his dick isn't buried
balls-deep. And the ending ... well, the ending should not be
missed.
TheGreatxIam has already given us a long string of excellent
stories, but this is the best one yet.
---
{ASSM} Curtains
By Selena Jardine <selenajardine@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35540
A has a life that isn't going so well. He dislikes his job,
he and his have a non-existent sex life, and he's 170 pounds
overweight. After a trip to the doctor, he decides he needs to
work on that weight problem, and he begins walking around the
backyard every day.
He makes enough progress where he feels he can walk around the
neighborhood, and there he discovers many of his neighbors do not
draw their curtains at night. Through one window, he spots a
sweet studying econ, and he is stunned when she
strips off all her clothes and tosses them in the laundry. Some
long dormant urges are reawakened.
There is a lot to like about this story. The sense of realism
will pull you in. The main character changes and finds himself in
a much happier place. The sex is exciting and happy and
celebratory. What more could you ask for?
This is an excellent, almost inspirational story. Be sure to read
it.
---
{ASSM} giggling 1:3 [urfe] [new]
By Nicholas Urfe <nickurfe@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35766
This is one heck of a ride.
It's all about porn stars shooting a porn movie. Honey Rider, a
veteran of the porn wars, is starring with an assortment of other
augmented body parts while Keystone Cops try to run the camera.
Hanging around inside is Barbie, a whose job is giving
blowjobs to a washed up male porn star.
Barbie and Honey get to know one another between takes, if you
know what I mean.
Like many Nicholas Urfe stories, Giggling is written with a
distinctive style. Many with distinctive styles quickly
get old. But this benefits from a lot of powerful
distractions: the absurdity of the porn people, the attitudes of
the women, and, ultimately, the fatigue of those who are taking
part of this ridiculous business.
This is on the outer size limits of what I normally read,
but I'm very glad I read it. If you read it, you'll be glad too.
---
{ASSM} {ASSTR} creamfields
By Bradley Stoke <bradley_stoke@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35811
This is the of the Creamfields festival, which takes place
every summer in the UK, and one particular who thumps,
jumps, and pumps to the music as the Ecstasy takes over and the
people she's with become more and more sexually attractive and
they are suddenly naked and dancing and fucking while the
relentless music drives them on and on.
As lime who is a little bit past his prime, I'm more than a
little uninformed about the current music scene. But this made it come alive for me. The beat of the music, the feeling of
the drugs, the raging dancers: I was swept away by all of it.
I've been looking out for Bradley Stoke for some time
now, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I found one
that caught my fancy. This is the one that did it for me. It'll
do it for you, too.
---
{ASSM} The Dream Lover (FF, lesbian) by Katherine T.
By Katherine T. <kt1960@earthlink.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35444
Sandra is a focused and organized university lecturer in medieval
history. Lately she has been having these odd fantasies of making
love outdoors. When the fantasies become too intrusive, she
decides to change focus and make her fantasy a reality.
She gets herself all dolled up to visit a trendy bar,
where she goes searching for her androgynous dream lover. Before
too long, Jen is buying Sandra a second Cosmo, and they are making
plans to drive out into the country.
I liked the way Sandra attacks her little problem. She's an
interesting character, and she's definitely the most interesting
part of the story. On the downside, the Jen character is nearly
invisible, and the sex is skimmed over and is finished quickly.
While this is another variation of the Tricky Husband (where the main character contrives a plot and carries it out to
perfection), the well-drawn Sandra character makes it far better
than most of its ilk.
---
{ASSM} Big Wheel (MF, celeb) Silver Surfer #4
By theGreatxIam <max_wojtylak@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35755
The of this Silver Surfer episode is none other than
Tina Turner. The surfer is a limo driver who picks up Ms Turner
during her farewell tour. After a night of club and bar hopping,
the inevitable fight breaks out, which is quickly controlled by
the fast-acting driver.
Unfortunately, Tina is a peace-loving type and doesn't appreciate
him stepping into the confrontation. There is a long, uncomfortable
moment back in the limo.
But hey, this is ASSM. They kiss and make up.
Of course Tina likes to kiss and make up two ways: she likes it
nice and easy, and she likes it nice and rough. My only criticism
of this comes from the nice and rough part - it's a lot
more nice than it is rough. Oh, the silver surfer *says* it was
pretty danged wild, but when we get to the actual details, it's
simply nice and ..., well, nice and nice.
But that's just a nit-pick. As you would expect from
theGreatxIam, this is an excellent with a fascinating
subject. And I am astounded that one author can convincingly
write so many from the points of view of so many
different people.
---
{ASSM} Caught [Oosh]
By Oosh <Oosh@NOSPAM.gmx.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35852
This begins with an exquisite description of a dress the
narrator sees in a shop window. Then the narrator catches two
women back in the shop, kissing. Catching the two women becomes
the basis for a little self-discovery.
The ending, while stunning in its way, seems separate from the
rest of the story. After all the luxurious detail of the opening
scene, the ending feels relatively un-grounded. And while the
story is about sex and sexuality, the sex is not explicit. If
you're looking for stroke material, you'll want to move on to
something else.
But those are minor nits. This very short has something
almost everyone will enjoy. Puzzling through the extended
metaphor is a lot of fun, and the opening is as good as any you'll read in ASSM. Unless you're a hardcore stroke fan, you
should invest a short amount of time and check this out.
---
{ASSM} AFTER THE PARTY (F/F, romance, exhibitionist, jewelry, dessert toppings)
By Rogue Writer <roguewriter@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35663
Tanya is a on the rebound, and she is attending a party
thrown by her friend Mario. There, she meets Mario's new
roommate, Claudia. Mario and Claudia have a platonic
relationship, at least for now.
But it is Claudia's friend Amy who interests Tanya the most. With
just one look, Tanya's sex parts melt. Tanya and Amy manage to
get together alone in Mario's room to smoke a bowl. The two
girls show off their tattoos and piercings to one another, one
thing leads to another, and Amy reveals that she too is gay.
But Amy still has one secret: her friend Claudia doesn't know
about her sexual orientation yet.
There follows a lot of kinky sex, including anal licking
dessert toppings, and exhibitionism.
This has several rough stretches, particularly in the
beginning. But if you get past those, you'll find an excellent
story with a good plot and some good characters. It's romantic
without being sappy, and kinky without being disgusting. And, for
the one-handed readers out there, it includes a couple long,
detailed sex scenes.
It also includes one of the best similes I've read since starting
these reviews, but I won't spoil it - you'll have to read it for
yourself.
If you start on this story, don't let the loose writing in the
beginning put you off - if you persevere, you'll find a very good
story.
---
{ASSM} An Aphrodite Rising
By Sam Cornell <cornell525@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35456
Sometimes there is a that breaks all the rules and gets
away with it. "You" is constantly referred to in this story, but
it is unlike many of the annoying second-person you read
in this newsgroup. This is really internal dialogue. We are
listening to the main character's thoughts as she watches her
lover rise from the sea like Aphrodite. The "you" in this is really the woman's lover. The narrator is *not* addressing
the reader, she just uses "you" as the name of the person she is
lusting after. While there are a few lapses, this is much better
than your typical ASSM second-person horror.
Which means this is really not a second-person story, but it is a
stream-of-consciousness story. Which means that instead of the
second-person obstacles to overcome, it has the stream-of-
consciousness obstacles to overcome.
And for the most part, it overcomes them. Sure, her thoughts are
a little too analytical, but the thoughts of this woman are
intelligent and, at times, poetic. I like the way she devours her
Aphrodite's nearly naked body.
As an experiment, this is a resounding success. And even
as a regular story, it's still pretty darn successful.
---
{ASSM} Invisible {Douglas Ossified} (mf voy 1st)
By ossified <ossified@hushmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35521
A used to be best friends with his sister, and then his
sister hits puberty. A thirteen-year-old doesn't get much
attention from sixteen-year-old girls, so when Courtney's friends
all come over for a swim in the pool, the narrator becomes nearly
invisible.
He has a big crush on his sister's friend Allison. When Allison
goes swimming and leaves her unattended, he sneaks over
and jerks off into them. Allison returns unexpectedly, giving the
boy time to cover up but no time to clean them up. When she
starts to put her on, she feels something unexpected. She
wonders what it could be, and when looking around, the formerly
invisible suddenly becomes visible.
At the end, there is a song reference that I didn't get, so the
ending left me baffled, but the rest of the is very good.
Only a few minor typos mar the technically good prose. And I
liked the idea of an invisible boy, and the author pulls off the
sense of being ignored reasonably well.
This is a very good of a boy's first exposure to sex.
---
{ASSM} {new story} Empty Street (MF, oral, voy, carsex)
By Elliot Mabeuse <dr_mabeuse@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35630
We start out buzzing through the air above town, then we drop
into a residential neighborhood, settling finally on a car parked
on the street. We focus even closer on the pair inside the car.
Inside, the is getting ready to blow the man.
In the middle of the blowjob, they notice a couple watching them
from one of the homes. Fortunately, the spectators are not
annoyed by the strangers performing sex acts in front of their
house.
This is a good story, with realistic exhibitionist and voyeur
responses. The shifts tense about half way through, which
is an odd distraction for a that is otherwise very well-
written. I'm not quite sure what the fancy flying around at the
beginning of the is for, but at least it is interesting.
For fans of exhibitionism and voyeurism, this is an excellent
story. And even fans of other genres will find something here to
enjoy.
---
{ASSM} Mat Twassel and Lorrin Murray -- Calendar
By Mat Twassel and Lorrin Murray <mmtwassel@aol.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35482
This is the last two weeks of February of the erotic calendar Mat
Twassel and Lorrin Murray have been writing about. Until the last
couple days of February, this edition is similar to the first edition
I reviewed in an earlier issue: several short, artistic, but unrelated
descriptions of random erotic photographs.
And then February 27 comes along. February 27 is not only a follow up
to another day, but it is also much longer and much more detailed
story of what this might describe. By itself, it's worth
the price of admission.
---
{ASSM} "Vanessa and Me" Part One (M/F, Exhib, Discovery)
By Shon Richards <shonrichardshsd@earthlink.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35676
A at a mostly deserted art gallery meets a woman. They get in
a discussion about art, painting, writing, and creativity. And
then Vanessa decides she needs to put him through a test. She
positions him behind her and instructs him to put his hand down
the front of her pants. She does this because creativity is
important, which, I suppose, is as good as reason as any.
This is an interesting story. The writing is sometimes awkward,
but the discussion about art, at least, is fun to read. And the
sex scene, while short, is pretty good.
Based on the subject line, this is the first of a series,
and it reads like a cross between a short and a single
chapter of a serial. As an introduction to a longer piece, it's
very good, but it doesn't quite work as well as a stand-alone
piece. If you enjoy following on-going serials (something I don't
generally do), definitely check this out.
---
{ASSM} {ASSTR} The Tally
By Bradley Stoke <bradley_stoke@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/35672
Amy is an anal retentive sex worker who keeps a detailed diary of
her sexual statistics. She has bedded more than 3000 and
women in her ten years, and she takes great pleasure in the
records she has made of each encounter.
And then one day a new woman shows up at the sex club where Amy
works. Lucinda is different. When not on stage, she dresses
plainly. She is aloof. She doesn't do men. All of which makes Amy
crazy with lust. While they fuck aggressively on stage, Lucinda
refuses every advance to get together after work.
Amy becomes obsessed and follows Lucinda after work one day. And
what do you think happens when they finally meet away from the
club? Read the to find out!
This contains a mix of excellence and mediocrity. The Amy
character is compelling and artfully drawn. I liked the way Amy's
obsessions with sex and Lucinda are revealed. But there is not
enough action. Most of the is spent talking about sex
instead of doing sex. Some of the sex, too, is told indirectly.
The ending is also rushed.
But Bradley Stoke is a talented author, and while this has
some flaws, it was still an enjoyable read.
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