My wife, Janice, has no shame. That is the principle difference between us. In almost everything we are alike. We both are sexual dominants with our own submissives. We both like and we both enjoy French singers over talent less American singers. We both pour our creativity in sexual pursuits, me with my erotic writing and she with her nude paintings of her male submissives.
As alike as we are, I prefer to keep my private life private while Janice sees no reason to hide what she does. As a web designer, she can afford that luxury. Clients expect their computer experts to be weird and when they see Janice's handcuff motif bracelets and her bullwhip ponytail holder, they are reassured to know she's a sexual deviant and not someone who is going to steal their credit cards.
I on the other hand like to keep a low profile. My job involves book reviews and the last thing I want my readers to know is that the man who is flaming the latest offering from new York would rather be enflaming some woman's ass instead. Readers have powerful preconceptions, something I discovered the hard way last summer.
Last summer, Janice brought a friend over from work to help with a new webpage she was making for a client. Tina had come over before, and was used to the erotic paintings we had around the house. I liked to watch her blush underneath her glasses when we notice her staring a little long at one of Janice's more explicit works. Tina was one of those pale redheads who were a smidge overweight, giving her already pale skin a luminous glow. That glow would deepen into an embarrassed pink when she blushed that would come close to matching the color of her strawberry hair.
I sat in the living room, flipping through the bills when I overheard Tina ask Janice a question about a disk.
"This one's marked 'Top Priority', is this the disk you're looking for?"
"Nope," Janice said casually as she shuffled through more disks. "That's just Richard's that I need to make update his website with."
I froze. It's strange. I can rip apart a writer's book and admonish a sub for forgetting a command, but I still get nervous when someone finds out my hobby. Maybe it's why I'm just a reviewer and not a professional writer.
"I didn't know he wrote too," Tina said.
"Sure, he writes all the time," Janice replied, still shuffling through her files. "It's just that he keeps writing porn instead of something commercial. He posts them to the newsgroups and on his webpage for free. Richard gets lots of fanmail, so I know he's good. He just won't write anything mainstream where he could get paid for it."
"Here's the disk!" Janice sighed, and that was the end of the conversation. They resumed work on the new page and I breathed a sigh of relief. People act strange sometimes when they discover you write erotic stories. One female friend warned me outright to never use her in a even though we have never had any sort of sexual contact. She just suspected that a writer would use her image or her name without asking. Another friend wanted me to write sex about him and his like I was pornographer for hire. I suspected that people thought erotic writers were constantly casting real people for their sex stories. They don't understand how close and far away from the truth they were.
Later, at dinner, I reminded Janice how much I hate it when she brought up my writing to strangers.
"I don't get it," Janice countered. "You write porn and you tie willing women up. You like going to S&M parties but you're in the closet over writing about it?"
"Writing is more personal," I tired to explain. "When I go to a S&M party, I project who I am, and the women I have been with have seen the real me. When I write, I experiment. I tell my in the first person, but because in some I'm trying to prove a point, the narrator isn't whom I am. If I write from the point of view of an abusive, evil dominant, its to show how egotistical a dominant can be, but I get fanmail the next day from strangers who think I was speaking my mind. That's fine, if they can't understand truth from fiction, that's their problem because I'll never meet them. When people that we know personally can't understand that difference, then it causes problems."
Janice shrugged. "If they can't understand that your are fiction, then we don't need them as friends."
"Maybe I just don't want to find out the truth about the people I know," I said.
"Well, we're going to find out about Tina," Janice laughed. "She borrowed your disk."
I just looked at her. It was times like these that my was lucky to be tall, and beautiful because it made it impossible to stay mad at her. She can always placate me with a sinful smile.
"I believe that disk had all of your S&M stories," Janice said. "Even those mean ones you told me to post under your other pseudonym."
I had to laugh. "I'm sorry, I hope Tina doesn't stop talking to you. Those were kind of harsh."
Janice shrugged again. "I think she's always been curious. I always catch her sneaking peeks at 'Whipped'."
My eyes flitted to Janice's best painting. It was a black and white of her submissive from a few years ago. Brad was kneeling with his hands behind his back. He had angelic wings sprouting from his back but his head was bent down in total subservience. A whip was coiled around his huge, hard cock. It was the closest Janice had ever come to capturing the joy inherent in domination.
"So, maybe she just likes Brad's equipment," I laughed. Brad's massive cock was the only reason Janice kept him around for three months instead of discarding his whining personality within a week. Janice had defended herself by saying that every domme should have a well-hung submissive just once, so they could appreciate how little size matters in a happy submissive relationship.
Janice smiled sinfully and I felt myself stir. "I'll bet you a good spanking that Tina is more interested in the lifestyle than Brad's anatomy. Before the week is out, she'll send you a fanmail."
I raised my glass for the toast. "It's a bet."
Tina ended up surprising us both. She never sent me a fanmail but the next weekend, she came by the apartment to drop off some books. I deliberately stayed in the study when she came over. If she was avoiding me, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable because I really was concerned about Janice losing a friend. Little did I know how far Tina was going to surprise us- she asked Janice if I was busy because she wanted to compliment me on my stories.
I was writing when she came in and to be honest, I was simply stunned when I saw her at the door. After offering her a chair I sat down to discover what every writer fears. I found out what she thought.
"Your have been on my mind all week," Tina said, a little flustered. "They're very good." She pushed her gold-rimmed glasses up nervously.
I smiled. "Thank you," I said warmly. "I had such a wide range of on that disk, I wasn't sure if you would like them all."
She blushed and her pale skin took on that glow I liked so much. "There was quite a variety," she said hesitantly. "I didn't understand how you could write something that made bondage look so romantic in one story, and then cruel in the next."
My own hesitations melted away. It's an secret about writers. We'll warm up to anyone who wants to discuss our stories. I've exchanged e-mails with assholes that hated my stuff just to have someone to get feedback from.
"Because bondage isn't a theme, or something that can be done right," I said. "To me, bondage and submission is just an act that can be done by many types of people. Sometimes it can be sweet and slow, and other times, it can just be a means to get your rocks off."
Tina blushed again and shifted in her chair. She unconsciously pulled at the hem of her skirt when she laughed. I think she was surprised at how crude language can get with porn writers.
"I saw that," she said after a moment. "I've always thought bondage was leather hoods and gothic chains. You made it sound like fun."
I laughed again. "Fun is a goal of mine as a writer, but I hope I also evoked deeper emotions."
Tina started to say something but stopped. She unfolded and crossed her legs again, and my imagination flashed an image of how much she may have enjoyed my stories. I could just her, sitting at her computer, the text reflecting off her glasses as she unzipped her pants . . .
I shook my head from the daydream. Tina had gathered the courage to speak and as a fan, she had my full attention.
"I wanted to ask for something, and Janice already said it was all right," Tina began.
This time, I resisted the smile. If Janice had said it was all right, it could only be for something that she could brag about later. Out of all the possibilities, I guessed at what it could have been and listened.
"Would you mind writing a for me? I love the way you write, and I've had an interest in this kind of stuff, but I've never had the guts to try it."
I guessed right.
"And having me write it would be a way for you to try it by proxy?" I asked.
She nodded. I shook my head and tried to think of how to explain it. I've given this speech a dozen times in e-mail, but it was much harder face-to-face. It was even harder when I noticed how green her eyes were; their sparkle demanded a in their own right.
"When I first started writing, I used to do these kinds of requests for fans," I began. "Fans were never happy with what I gave them. They also had a complaint here or there, usually over something I over embellished that wasn't important to them."
I could see her about to protest that she wouldn't complain but I didn't let her speak. "But then I wrote a for a submissive of mine."
Tina blushed again. It was just as beautiful as all of her earlier blushes even though I was always annoyed by how other people got embarrassed by how open my marriage was. To Janice and me, the fact that we had sex with other people was nothing to be embarrassed about.
Regaining my focus, I continued. "When I wrote a for Angela, my sub, she called it perfect. I thought it was just flattery until she explained why she loved it. She said I got everything right, that I had told a about us, brought up things she hadn't noticed before but they were there. That's when I realized the difference between truth and fiction."
"You can only write the truth?" Tina asked.
I laughed. "Good grief, no. It's all fiction. The difference is what the reader wants. The reader wants it to be personal. If the character is someone they don't know, then they identify with the character and fill in the blanks. If I say a woman is busty and nothing else, then everyone from a skinny endowed woman to a chubby woman with big can relate to the girl. The reader adds their own fiction to mine."
"Where it gets tricky is where my fiction conflicts with my readers," I said. "I get a request to do a bondage scene in a mall, then I think the requester is an exhibitionist and I do a where a submissive is exposed in a mall setting. Sadly, the reader thinks of their alter-ego as someone who just wants to wear bondage under their clothes and is upset to have themselves humiliated, even in fiction."
Tina frowned, making little dimples rise. "Then it's just a matter of being specific in what I want."
"Not quite," I corrected. "I thought the same thing too, but there's another secret about writers: we can only write about things we truly want to write about. My mailbox is filled with requests from websites to write to fit a certain mold, and I still can't do it. It must be the dominant in me, but I have to be true to myself when I write. I write like I like my sex, it has to be my way."
"Then how did you please you sub?" Tina asked. She leaned forward and her stubborn desire appealed to me. This women wanted a story from me, and she wasn't taking no for an answer but she stayed respectful.
"Because I wrote a about my true interests, but using the fictions that she wanted. As my submissive, I knew the fictions she wanted better than she did. A is a meeting between writer and reader, but a that features the reader is far more intimate."
I leaned back, knowing I forget all of the details of my argument but I was satisfied that she understood. She pulled at the hem of her dress in silence as she thought about what I said. It was never easy to let a fan down over e-mail, it was far harder to do it in person.
As we sat in silence, my mind wondered over her body. I'd seen her dozens of times before, but only as my wife's friend. With my sexual tastes, I don't bother to fantasize about women that I think aren't submissive but of course, I saw Tina differently now. Her extra weight smoothed the angles of her body as well as blessing her with a generous bust and round ass. She was one of those imperfect beauties who would never grace a magazine cover but would be a welcome addition to any man's bed.
Now it was I crossing my legs.
"Oh well, I had to ask," Tina said as she stood up.
"I'm very flattered," I said as I stood with her. "I just rather save you the disappointment."
"I'm sorry you don't have the interest in me," Tina said, a touch of sadness in her voice.
"I never said that," I said, as I looked her straight in the eye. "I just don't know you well enough."
She said nothing, so I took a chance.
"Besides, you never know," I offered. "I could just be full of shit and change my mind tomorrow and write you a long epic."
That made her smile, and she was still smiling when she rejoined Janice.
~~~
"Do her," Janice said after we were done. My erection was fading and still buried in her tight sex.
"You know the rules," I chided. "No talking about other lovers during penetration."
She wiggled her hips and my cock pulled out of her, trailing a mess down her leg.
"There, now please, do my friend," Janice asked again.
I laughed. "She never asked for that. She just wants a story."
"Bullshit," Janice said simply. "You told me what you told her and not once did you mention her saying 'never mind, I didn't know sex was required'. That wants try bondage, and after reading your stories, she trusts you to intiate her."
I thought about it. "It would be weird," I said. "I've written stories for my women who were my subs, I've never dominated a woman who was a fan first."
Janice turned and rested her head on my chest. "Wow, I didn't know you had performance anxiety. Afraid the truth won't measure up to your fiction?"
I growled and then laughed. "Maybe."
"Ha!" Janice said triumphantly. "Now you're going to wonder."
She didn't know I was already wondering about Tina for far more explicit reasons.
~~~
I decided to give Tina a starring role in her story. To begin matters, I sent her an e-mail that I thought would get her attention. In writing, we call this the hook, and if I couldn't hook her in, then she didn't want me as her writer after all.
"Dear Tina,
I've changed my mind about writing about you. If you are interested, please come by the apartment this Friday at 5pm sharp. Don't wear any sort of underwear.
Richard"
It was pretty straight forward, but that's what a hook is all about. She couldn't ask a dominant to write her a sex story, and not expect a few commands. It also placed the plot in her hands. If Janice was right, and Tina was just a woman begging to be bound, then she had the power to tell me right now.
Three days passed by without an answer. In an e-mail that was sent just after midnight, Tina gave me her response. It was just one sentence and I had to admire her sense of pacing.
The sentence was simply "I'll be there."
~~~
At five o'clock, Tina arrived. She was wearing a black t-shirt that concealed the mass if her but not the hard points of her nipples. Tina was wearing jeans as well, which was an interesting choice. If she wanted to discourage me sexually, she would have worn sweats or if she was eager for me, she would have worn something a bit more sophisticated. I applauded her neutral choice.
"Where's Janice?" Tina asked after I motioned for her to sit on the couch.
I sat on the table beside the couch so I could face her. "Janice is on a date with her sub, Marcus, tonight. Friday nights are always play nights for us."
Tina took a deep breath. "Is this a play night for you?"
I ignored the question. "The first thing I need to do is a simple test. While staying where you are, reach behind you and grab a hold of the cord for the blinds with both hands."
She did as I asked. We had shortened the cords so that the cats wouldn't play with them, so Tina had to to reach them. With her arms fully extended, she wrapped the cord around her hands.
A thought occurred to me that it would make for a good humiliation if a sub's hands were tied to the blinds and if she resisted, she would open the blinds and allow the outside world to see the wicked things occurring to her.
Oh well, that's another story.
"Now, here are the rules," I told Tina. "As long as you hold onto that cord, I'm allowed to do whatever I wish. I will collect research for the I want to write about you. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or nervous, then you can let go of the cord and I'll stop instantly. However, if you let go of the cord before I collect enough research, then I am not obligated to write you anything. Understand?"
She nodded. I was pleased to see she had no questions. Although I wouldn't have minded answering questions to reassure her, I was relieved to see her willing to jump in with both feet.
I stood up, and walked around the room. Tina watched me from behind those sexy glasses, obviously eager for me to begin. She didn't know that I had begun already. As I casually walked around the room, I was testing her anxiety. Some submissives have quit this game after only a minute, while others began talking nervously. This was a game of willing bondage, and I wanted to make sure she was ready before we really began having fun.
I turned off some lights and left only the short lamp by the couch on. It cloaked the room in darkness except for her. Tina watched as I opened a small decorative box on the table in front of her. Her eyes widened as she saw the sexual toys inside; vibrators, cuffs and various small floggers. She must have seen that box sitting there for months, but she never suspected what treasures it kept. Now she had plenty of time to look at it as I walked into the kitchen.
From the kitchen I could see her sitting on the couch but she couldn't see me unless she stood up and turned. Luckily for her, she didn't. I poured myself some water, and on a breath mint while Tina sat in silence. Tina waited for me to return, and I waited for her to crack.
After five minutes, I came back into the living room. Her face was flushed from a blush that only deepened when I walked in. There was no telling what thoughts she was thinking that could cause such a blush, but maybe she'll tell me later. It was clear to me that she was prepared for the next step.
Without saying a word, I sat down beside her on the couch. I ran my hand over her straight hair, and was surprised by how smooth it was. After stroking her for a minute, I brought my other hand to her waist and reached for the bottom of her shirt. My hand slowly raised her until I could slip my hand onto her stomach.
Tina hissed and she squirmed on the couch. She looked straight ahead but I could see that glow return to her cheeks. I pinned some of her hair behind her ear so that I could always watch her cheeks while I played.
I had to use both hands to lift her black t-shirt around her chest. Tina held her breath as I raised her past her smooth stomach and over her generous breasts. Like I had commanded, she neglected to wear a brassiere. Her were luminous, so pale with only a slight pink around her nipples. I noted how hard her nipples were, twin nubs of bright red.
I rolled her over her and just under her out stretched arms. Tina released her breath and I watched in fascination as her large shifted with her chest. Our eyes meet briefly before she looked away in embarrassment. Her nipples betrayed her excitement but she couldn't face the truth in my eyes just yet.
Since she still clutched the cord, I continued. Her left was closest to me, so I cupped it in my hand first. The warmth surprised me, as it was sweaty to my touch. I lifted her and marveled at the weight. I couldn't believe she was self-conscious about weight when she had this wonderful orb to offer.
My thumb ran over her nipple, and Tina shivered. Smiling, I passed my thumb back over and felt another shiver ripple through her. She in her stomach as her back arched when I stroked her nipple a third time. Another pass with my thumb caused a deeper shiver and this time, she looked directly in my eyes. She must have liked what she saw because for the first time, she smiled.
I returned her smile and then dipped my head to take her right nipple into my lips. Tina moaned as my warm mouth on her solid tit. Her moan was low and very sensual, long and drawn out as my tongue flicked her nipple between my teeth.
The taste of her sweat was delightful. When my tongue pressed hard against her nipple, Tina would press into me, pushing her into my mouth and her other against my neck. She jumped when my teeth lightly grazed her but the shivers that followed made her jiggle in my mouth.
I released her nipple from my lips and leaned back. This time she meet my stare and I saw questions were poised on her lips. Maybe she wanted to know how far this was going. Maybe she wanted to make a witty comment. Maybe she just needed to declare her intentions. I stopped her with a single finger on her lips.
"Since your bondage tonight is voluntary," I said, pointing to the cord, "then let your silence be voluntary as well. Gags can be so restrictive, and I want to hear more of your moans."
Tina nodded and I turned my attention to on her other breast. My lips, tongue and teeth toyed with her until I found the full range of her moans. They were all exquisite.
When my lips were tingling from the kissing, and her nipples were red and swollen, I finally rose for air. Tina was breathing as hard as I was and her face had flushed to an even deeper shade of red. Her hands were gripping the cord so tightly; I could see the white of her knuckles.
My hand went to her pants zipper, and she began to shake. I dipped my head back down onto her nipple and with on her nipple until she began to moan again. When her back arched again, I popped the button of her pants. She didn't raise a word of protest as I unzipped her pants, Tina could only moan.
I regrettably left her and moved to in front of her. Tina's eyes were closed in anxiety, but she still held onto the cord. She lifted her bottom up as I pulled her pants down over her waist, over her tangle of pubic hair and down her smooth legs. Instead of taking her pants completely off, I left them around her ankles. Pants around her ankles were a more effective bondage than most cuffs.
I sat on the table opposite Tina, moving her legs to be between mine. Her sex was bare and on display for my pleasure. Tina watched me as she clenched the cord and silently obeyed as I pushed her knees apart.
Her hair was such a dark red, and such a lovely tangle over her sex. My fingers stroked her pubic hair, moving it this way and that to look at the lips of her mound. Glistening with moisture, her clitoris had emerged from its hood and I took care to avoid it with my fingers.
"In fiction, I find that women are most sensitive about what their sexes are called," I began. "The wrong name can destroy a woman's libido, while the right name can melt a woman."
My fingernail traced the line where her sex lips meet. "What name do you prefer? Pussy?" I asked.
She moaned as my finger moved down her lips.
"Sex?" I asked as my fingernail traced up her lips. She moaned again.
"Cunt?" I tried as my fingernail moved down, parting her sex slightly. She moaned harder, but she shook her head in the negative.
"What about garden?" I asked as my finger moved up, penetrating deeper. She gasped.
"Or what about delta?" I asked as slipped my wet finger from her and stroked her clitoris.
"Yes!" she whispered, forgetting our agreement about silence.
"You like delta?" I asked. My finger left her clit and slipped back into her sex, deep this time. "You like the way delta reminds you of a river? Or perhaps the Nile, that mystic, life giving river?"
She nodded her head, her eyes clenched tight. At this point, I could have called her Mickey Mouse, and she would have agreed. It wasn't finding the truth that was so important, as much as getting her to associate the word delta with the frustrated pleasure she was feeling now. It was just more fiction.
I masturbated her freely now. In and out with my single finger, I pumped her delta. Tina was so damn wet. Just beneath her breathing, you could hear her lips pulling at my finger with the wet sound of suction. Her hips moved with my finger and her stomach undulated with a rhythm that would shame belly dancers.
"Not yet," I said as I pulled my finger clean. I brought my finger to my lips and tasted her. Her green eyes stared at me as I cleaned my finger.
Turning, I picked up two items from the box she had forgotten about. I held up a long, blue vibrator in one hand. In my other hand, I held a smaller, but studded vibrator. Her eyes widened and her lips silently mouthed a curse word.
"Without saying a word, pick the one that I will use on you," I told her.
Tina looked at me in denial. The blue one was so long, it was inhuman. The one's studs covered it from hilt to tip, suggesting a unique experience. I could see she wanted to discourage me, but my face was passive. There was no discussion.
She nodded towards the blue one.
"Next time it will be the red," I said as I moved the blue one to between her legs.
I laid the blue vibrator at the gates of her delta and carefully rubbed the tip against her. When she relaxed enough to start moaning again, I carefully pushed. Into her the vibrator went, opening her inch by inch. I reached out and grabbed a handful of her breast. Tina trembled and blushed but this time she held eye contact as I continued to penetrate her.
Halfway into her sex, I could feel her clenching hard. It was clear that her delta was at its limits. With a press of my thumb, I turned the vibrator on.
"Oh God!" Tina cried out. She squirmed against the couch as her sex shook from the vibrations. My hand tightened on her breast, sinking my fingers into her pale globe. Her hips were bucking, trying to fuck the vibrator she was impaled on.
Through the blinds, I saw a familiar set of headlights.
"Remember," I warned her. "If you release that cord, this is over and I can tell you now, I don't have enough to write about yet."
I was lying. I had plenty, enough to write volumes about her, but then, that was just another fiction.
The key slipped into the front door and Tina's flew as she snapped her head around. In walked Janice, looking lovely in her dance clothes. Marcus, her latest submissive, walked in behind her.
"Had fun dancing?" I asked from between Tina's spread thighs. My fingers played with her clitoris.
"Enough to want to come back home," Janice teased. She deliberately ignored Tina, but Marcus openly stared. Who wouldn't stare at a busty woman with her bare and her sex pierced by a vibrator?
"Have fun," I told Janice and they both went into the back bedroom.
I looked at Janice, and just as I expected, her face found a deeper shade of that I had never seen before. It was beautiful and I told her so.
"I'm so proud of you for not freaking," I told her as I slid the vibrator partially out. "I think I'm close to finishing my research, but I need to hear you climax first. Is that all right with you?"
The blush was still there, but Tina nodded her head vigorously. She was embarrassed, but she was also determined to see this through. I liked to think she wanted to see how this fiction ended.
Now that I knew the length she could absorb from the vibrator, I fucked her with the toy without fear. Deep into her delta I plunged the blue phallus while my fingers stroked her clitoris. My knowledge of her sex was evident as her hips kept rising to meet my thrusts, begging without words for me to fuck her.
My blue eyes meet her green, and we watched each other as her sex was manipulated. Tina pulled the cord with her hands and her feet kept shifting between my legs. This voluntary bondage was maddening to her and I knew that she longed to be securely bound. She wanted to writhe, moan and pull at her bonds as her delta was opened from within.
I twisted the smooth blue vibrator in her sex and her eyes clenched in pleasure. Her sex was so wet and smooth; it was too easy to spin the vibrator within her. I could feel the walls of her sex squeeze down on the toy, clamping down as she came closer to her ultimate outcome.
"Do you want to climax?" I asked her.
Behind me, we could hear the loud crack of Janice's paddle. Janice jumped at the sound, but she also moaned. The paddle cracked again and again so I repeated my question.
"Do you want to climax?" I asked her.
She nodded.
"Then you may," I said as I pushed the vibrator deeper than she had accepted before.
"Yes!" Tina cried out. Her buttocks lifted completely from the couch, pushing her completely onto the vibrator. Briefly, I got a glimpse of the impressive wet spot she was creating on the couch.
"Give me a good climax to use, Tina," I commanded.
"Okay," she moaned, perhaps not hearing me as her orgasm crashed upon her body. Her eyes popped open and her lips formed a perfect 'O' as shifting hips froze. I looked deep into those green eyes as she gasped, once, twice and then groaned in pleasure.
She was perfectly still, only gasping and shivering as she enjoyed her climax. I took note of that. Slowly I pulled the vibrator from her delta, and laid it beside me on the table. We sat silently as Janice continued to spank Marcus in the bedroom.
"You can let go of the cord now," I told her. "I can write your story now."
Bless her submissive heart, Tina looked disappointed.
"Are you," she said with hesitation. She was still clutching the cord. "Are you sure you don't want to enjoy yourself?"
I smiled and reached for her hands. Gently, I pried her sweaty fingers from the cord and kissed her on each pink nipple.
"As a writer, I've learned the value of leaving something for the next episode," I told her.
"There's going to be another part?" Tina asked. Her face was glowing with a different light, this time from enjoyment.
"Well, as you know, it depends on feedback," I told her. "A writer is always a sucker for appreciative letters from fans."
"What counts as appreciation?" Tina asked. I was amazed by how much her body language had changed. Her fear was gone and she didn't even seem to notice that the sounds of paddling were gone.
"Oh, try me, and I'll tell you if its enough," I said.
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