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BLINDATE girls that before but never


This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real
persons is unintentional and strictly coincidental. If you
are below the age of 18, or 21 depending on your locality,
stop reading right now. If your government prohibits erotic
literature, stop reading now and delete this. If you choose
to continue, that is your decision -- and your
responsibility -- not mine.

This is intended solely for adults, and any other
rebroadcast, retransmission, and account of this game is
strictly prohibited by the National Hockey League. Wait
--The NHL doesn't care --I care. Any unauthorized
redistribution of this is in violation of copyright. I
authorize this to be archived in its entirety -- which must
include this disclaimer and the author credit -- on
non-profit web sites. I expressly prohibit posting of this
work on pay-sites, sites with advertising, and any type of
site where a fee is charged. Any other distribution without
the author's permission is strictly prohibited.
"Blind Date" Copyright 1999 by
All rights reserved.

I'd love to know what you think. Positive or negative, I'll
try to respond to everyone (except obnoxious flames).

Thanks. My e-mail address is

Author's note: This is a little unconventional. Whenever
you see the < > brackets, that shows the thoughts of the
character. This is meant more as a humorous story than
anything else. Let me know what you think.
Blind Date
by John A

"Hi, Michelle. This is Bob...Cindy's cousin." Bob said skittishly
into the phone.

<Uh-oh, he called> "Hi Bob, how are you? It seems I already know
you really well. Cindy's always talking about you at work."
Michelle was chewing her nails as she spoke, nervous about the
prospect of dating, essentially, a perfect stranger.

<Bob: She sounds nice, so far. What's wrong with her that she
doesn't date?>

<Michelle: This is crazy, I should just tell him that I'm not
interested. I feel so ridiculous going on a blind date. I'm not
ready to date yet.>

"Yeah. Cindy brings you up every time I see her too." He was
unsure of what to say.

<Bob: Why go through this? Cin said she was a really sweet girl.
I know what that means. But if I don't ask her out, seven kinds
of shit will hit the fan the next time I see Cindy....Well, here
goes nothing. It's just one date anyway.>

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner Saturday
night?" Despite the date being essentially prearranged, Bob's
mouth dried as he awaited a response.

<Michelle: I'm going to kill her for getting me into this. I
haven't been on a blind date in years....Just because I haven't
gone out in a couple of months, she becomes the merry

"Sure, that sounds nice. Where do you want to go?" < Well, I
guess it's too late to turn back now.>

"Do you like Italian food?" Bob asked.

"It's my favorite."

"Great. Do you want to meet at Dominic's at seven...or would you
rather I pick you up?" Bob queried. <Please say we can meet. If
this date is lousy, I don't want to have to take you home.>

"Why don't we meet there, that'll be easier." Michelle said.
<Like I want you to have an excuse to come back to my place after
the date.>

Bob breathed a sigh of relief. "Ok. I'll be at the bar waiting.
I'll have a navy blue sportcoat and a red tie on....I'll be the
one they're arresting for not wearing any pants." <Please get the
joke....The last thing I want to do is explain the joke.>

Michelle laughed heartily. "Well, I have no idea what I'll be
wearing, but I'll see you at seven." she chuckled. <Ok, he's
funny, anyway>

"Ok, bye."


<Bob: Well, at least she has a sense of humor, this might not be
so bad after all....Why am I kidding myself? This is a fucking
blind date, how good can it be?>


Thursday night, Bob was returning his cousin Cindy's husband's
circular saw when the subject of his date with Michelle came up.

"Cindy, be honest. What does Michelle look like?" Bob furrowed
his brow, worried about the answer.

"I told you, she's great. She's really sweet." Cindy was enjoying
toying with her cousin. <He's going to squirm on his. He can't
wait to find out how pretty she is....Time to have a little fun.>

"That's not what I want to know. What does she look like?"

"You mean, *since* the electrolysis?" Cindy teased.

"Cin, stop it. You're scaring me." Bob chuckled. <She can't be
that bad, if Cindy's joking about her like this...can she?>

"Relax, I'm kidding. She doesn't need electrolysis. If the room
is dark enough, her beard is hardly noticeable...You are planning
to take her to a dark restaurant, aren't you?"

"Cynthia," his voice rose in agitation, "if you don't want to
be tickled unmercifully, you better start telling the truth."
Bob pounced from his seat and walked toward his cousin, and
perhaps best friend, in a mock menacingly fashion. <She wants
to play, now it's my turn.>

"Okay, okay!" she shrieked. "Don't you dare tickle me. Bob! Stop
it. Stop it! I'm kidding about Michelle." Bob sat down and Cindy
smiled, satisfied with herself. "Except for that annoying
colostomy bag of hers that she has to empty every few hours." Her
eyes sparkled as she saw the exasperated look on Bob's face.
<It's so easy to get under his skin.>


She laughed at his uncomfortable squirming then decided to ease
his torment. "She's pretty, Bob. And before you ask, yes, she has
a nice body." <I wish *I* had her body....Well, let's see what
she looks like after a couple of kids. Stop it. Stop being
snippy....Anyway, I look pretty good for a 34 year old woman with
three kids.>

"Then why is she going out on a blind date?" Bob asked, more to
aggravate his cousin than anything else.

"Why are you?" She countered. "A couple of months ago she ended a
long term relationship and I've finally convinced her she should
date again."

"Yeah, but I don't need a blind date. I'm just doing this because
of you." He smiled, confident that he got in the last word.

"God, you men..." Cindy sighed in resignation.

"I'm not as shallow as you think I am, Cin." Bob protested.

"I hope not. You couldn't be as shallow as I think you are.
Nobody could be." Cindy teased and stuck out her tongue.


"Shit!" Michelle spat, reading the instructions on the box of

<Michelle: Of all of the fucking days to get a yeast infection.
I don't have a date for two months, and nothing. I have a blind
date tonight and I have to deal with this too....It's not like
I'm going to sleep with him or anything, I just don't need the
aggravation of this fucking yeast infection.>

Michelle continued getting dressed, trying to ignore the
uncomfortable itching within her. She deliberated over what she
was going to wear, finally settling on a knee length black dress.
She felt it was nice enough for a date at someplace as elegant as
Dominic's, but conservative enough as not to suggest anything to
her date.

<Michelle: And why the hell, come to think of it, can't this guy
get a date? Cindy says he dates often, but he's her cousin for
God's sake, she'd say anything to get him a date, wouldn't she?
...Am I just being paranoid about this whole thing?>

Satisfied with her selection for the evening, she jumped in the
shower and tried to convince herself that she would have a good
time and tried to avoid coming up with reasons why her date would
be miserable.

After dressing and applying a light amount of makeup, she drove
across town and pulled into the parking lot for Dominic's a few
minutes after seven. She stopped just before she opened the door,
straightened her dress, and took a deep breath.

<Michelle: Well, here goes nothing.>

She walked in and looked over at the bar, trying to figure out
who her date was. There were about twenty men sitting down, and
from her cursory glance her first reaction was to flee, flee
while she had a chance.

<Michelle: Oh, this is a mistake. 'He's perfect for you'. Why
did I ever let Cindy talk me into this blind date?...Blue jacket,
red tie, blue jacket, re...there he is. That has to be him. Oh,
he's cute. This might not be so bad after all.>

Michelle approached him nervously. "Bob...Hi, I'm Michelle." She
gave him a friendly smile.

<Bob: Hey, she's pretty, and great tits. Face up! Face up! Stop
staring at her chest.>

"Hi, nice to meet you." He stood and gave her a light peck on the
cheek. "Would you like a drink? Our table should be ready in a
couple of minutes." <Was the kiss too much? What the hell, she
didn't seem to be bothered by it.>

"I'd love a Rum and Coke....I'm glad to see you decided on
pants." She sat next to him and smiled, hoping that her attempt
at humor wasn't lost on him.

Bob laughed, remembering his joke from their phone conversation.
"Well, when I called for reservations, I asked them about their
pants policy, and they suggested that I wear them...Plus all of
my skirts are at the cleaners." <At least we'll be able to joke
with each other tonight....Damn, she's cute.>

Michelle giggled. "Well, I think you made a good choice." <He can
dress well, and has a great smile....Maybe this won't be that

"Not as good as you," he complimented her. "Cindy didn't tell me
you were so pretty." <Stop staring at her tits, if she notices
she's going to get pissed.>

Michelle blushed as they made some small talk at the bar before
being told that their table was ready.

<Michelle: What the hell should I order. Should I order a 'first
date meal', something small and simple like a dinner salad? But
I'm hungry, I'm not a rabbit....What do I really care what he
thinks of me. If he's so shallow that he's going to judge me
based upon what I order, then I don't want to see him again
anyway....That settles it, linguine with white clam sauce....Maybe I shouldn't, that always gives me gas. Screw it,
this is probably the last time I see him anyway....Just to be on
the safe side, I'll pop one of those antacids that take an hour
to kick in.>

<Bob: What am I going to order? I better not order anything with
a red sauce, I'm such a slob, I'd probably splatter it all over
my shirt....Fettucini Alfredo is out, all those cream sauces give
me the farts. Yeah, that's the way to get a woman into bed, loud
bodily noises....Maybe I'll get some fish -- salmon, yeah, that
sounds good. That's safe, anyway. No farts, no burps, no spills.
The perfect date food.>

Bob ordered the broiled salmon and Michelle selected the linguine
with white clam sauce. They each ordered a shrimp cocktail as an
appetizer and chatted happily about everything and nothing;
becoming very comfortable with each other. They flirted
shamelessly throughout dinner, extending eye contact between the
two of them and laughing at everything the other was saying.

"Can I confess something Michelle? When Cindy suggested this, I
thought it was a lousy idea, but I'm really having a great time
with you tonight." <Don't take this the wrong way.>

Michelle grinned as she tilted her head and brushed some wisps of
hair from her eyes. "I'm having a nice time too, Bob." < Nice?
Nice? The table cloth is 'nice', the tie he's wearing is
'nice'....I need a thesaurus with me. I should be able to come up
with something better than NICE.>

<Bob: should I reach across the table and hold her hand? I want
to. It's a nice hand. It doesn't look as if it'll bite....But
maybe she will, that would be nice....What the hell, nothing

After the plates had been removed by the waiter and they were
drinking coffee, Bob reached across the table and gently took
Michelle's hand in his own. She started at the contact but
relaxed immediately and her hazel eyes sparkled brightly as she
smiled deeply at him.

"You have amazingly pretty eyes, Michelle." Bob said. <What the
hell am I thinking? She's going to think it's a line....It *is* a
line, I just don't want her to think it is....And her eyes are
gorgeous, too. Maybe not gorgeous, but the way they light up when
she smiles certainly is.>

<Michelle: Oh, God what a line. Still, that is a sweet thing to
say....I can't believe I'm getting aroused, we're just holding
hands....I wonder what he's like in bed? This is nuts, it's a
first date. Do I want him to think I'm a slut? Oh, Jeez, I
actually *do* care what he thinks of me.>

Michelle blushed, "Thank you, that's so sweet....What do you want
to do after dinner? Maybe go somewhere for a drink?" She looked
at him hopefully. The sparkling of her eyes started to spark the
flame of his desire.

"That sounds like a great idea. Have you ever been to The
Windmill? They have a guitar player on Saturday nights." Bob

"Sure, that's a nice place, sounds good." <This is going very
nicely....Am I going to end up sleeping with him tonight? I can't
believe I'm considering this....But I'm a little .. wet .. just
sitting here with him....Two months without sex is making me a
very horny girl.>

"But what about the two cars?" he asked. "I think it's silly
taking both of them."

"Well, I don't live too far away. You can follow me to my place
and I can leave my car there, ok?"

<Bob: Yes! We have to go back to her place at the end of the
night....I have to thank Cindy....Michelle's a babe. Could that
smile be any prettier? And, on top of all that, I think I really
like her too.>

<Michelle: What am I going to do at the end of the night? I
really like this guy, but I don't want to seem easy...well, *too*
easy, anyway.>

"Great, let's go." Bob paid the check and the two of them walked
hand in hand out of the restaurant.

After Bob followed Michelle to her apartment complex, she got
into his car and the two of them proceeded to The Windmill. On
the way they chatted mostly about Michelle's experiences as
Cindy's partner in their interior design business.

<Michelle: Cindy didn't say he had money. This is a brand new
Lexus. Now I'm just being shallow....I wonder what he does? Stop
doing this, you don't want to get involved in a deep
relationship. It's too soon. But...>

<Bob: Ok, we've talked about her job and Cindy. We need to find
some things in common. Cindy said she likes baseball, that's a
start....She's actually managed to make wallpaper
exciting....Well, maybe not, but I haven't fallen asleep at the
wheel like when Cindy tells me about work....Good, only a couple
of minutes until we get to the bar, I'm running out of

The Windmill was accessed from an outdoor stairway leading down
to its subterranean location. They noticed that it was about half
full and chose a secluded table in the corner to continue their
date. Michelle ordered a rum and coke and Bob ordered a bourbon,
straight up.

<Michelle: Who drinks bourbon nowadays? I didn't think anyone
since Bogart drank bourbon....Either this guy is a real man, or
he's one heavy pounding drinker. I'm hoping for the former.>

<Bob: Maybe a couple more of those and I won't have to work too
hard tonight....God, sometimes I even disgust myself. Here's a
sexy woman, who I think is attracted to me, and I'm thinking
about getting her drunk. Maybe Cindy's right about me being
shallow....*Is* Michelle attracted to me? Well, she didn't pull
her hand away in the restaurant, and we've held hands off and on.
She's laughing at all my stupid jokes, that says a lot. And I'm
sure as hell attracted to her.>

"So what do you do for a living?" Michelle asked as the musician
was taking a break.

"Oh, I design and test industrial strength condoms." Bob said
with a straight face.

Michelle snorted. "I thought they had machines to do that," she
lobbed back, grinning slyly. <This guy is too funny....He's so

"Well, normally they do." Bob continued, his straight face giving
evidence of cracking, "But not in the large sizes that I test."

"Oh. Is that so." Michelle flashed him a mischievous grin. "It
sounds like an interesting position."

"It is. It's certainly much better than my last job."

"Oh, and what was that." she said chuckling.

"I gave calonics to the chronically flatulent....Now that job

At this, they both burst into laughter as Michelle made light
contact with Bob's forearm. They looked deeply into each other's
eyes and Bob could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he
raised his hand to caress Michelle's fair cheek. He drew his head
nearer and approached her delicate lips noticing that goosebumps
on both of his arms were raised.

<Bob: Well, here goes nothing.>

<Michelle: Gentlemen, start your engines....Please be a good

Michelle parted her moist lips ever so slightly as Bob made
pleasurable contact. The touch of their lips was electric and as
they mashed them together it was all they could do to keep from
making a spectacle of themselves in public.

<Bob: We have to get out of here....What an incredible kiss....I
want her now....We can't keep this up for long, someone might get
pissed and say something....I've got to adjust this erection
without her noticing.>

Their lips separated, leaving a thin trail of saliva clinging to
each of them. They held hands above the table, while beneath
Michelle had removed her right shoe and began to run it up and
down Bob's calf.

<Michelle: How long do we have to stay here before one of us is
able to admit what we both want? What's he doing? Does he
have...he does and he's trying to adjust it without me noticing.
Should I pretend I don't know what he's doing, or tease
him....Tease works for me.>

"What are you looking for Bob?" Michelle asked as innocently as
she could. "Did you lose your keys?" <I shouldn't do this, it's
so cruel.>

Bob turned beet red. "No, I'm trying to get some money out of my
pocket to get another round of drinks."

" 'Twisted your money' Is that what the kids are calling it these
days?" she teased. "Was it the kissing that 'twisted your money',
or is it because I'm playing footsie with you?" Her eyes sparkled
brightly as she looked at him in as sexy a way as she could

"I don't know about you, but I really don't want another drink."
Bob practically gasped. <Looks as if I didn't manage to hide it
from her.>

<Michelle: YES!>

"Oh, I've had enough too, maybe you should...take me home."
Michelle's voice softened as she raised her eyes anxiously.

<Bob: YES!>

Michelle giggled softly as Bob discretely tried to adjust his
erection while they rose from the table. They climbed the steps
of the bar arm in arm as they fairly rushed to Bob's car,
laughing at their haste. The car was silent on the ride back to
Michelle's apartment, each of them consumed with thoughts of the
upcoming activities.

<Bob: I'm glad I jerked off earlier today, the last thing I'd
want is to lose it too early....What does it seem that she might
like? I wonder if she sucks cock. Maybe we can 69...I wonder if
she likes to be eaten -- that's the stupidest thing I've ever
said. What woman doesn't like to be eaten....Stop thinking about
this, you're going to put too much pressure on yourself.
Relax...Look at her, what a babe.>

<Michelle: Oh, shit! I forgot to clean the bathroom after my
shower...Did I make the bed today? I think I did. I hope so....Is
the living room clean; I don't think so....I hope he doesn't
think I'm a slob....I wonder if he'll go down on me. Please go
down on me! I can't believe I'm getting wet just thinking about
this. How long has it been since I had sex? Too long. Nine weeks
now. It was nine weeks ago tomorrow that I broke up with Dave --
what an asshole. Don't think about him; forget him.>

<Bob: It didn't seem like it took this long to get from her
place to the bar. Can I get any more red lights. Come on, change,
change. Finally. Only a couple of minutes until we get there.>

<Michelle: Is this a mistake? What's he going to think of me,
sleeping with him on the first date....He's going to think that
I'm a great fuck is what (she chuckled to herself)....Too late to
worry about that now Shel, I only hope that he's not an asshole
and will call me tomor....FUCK! I left the box of Monistat out! I
have to go to the bathroom before we start. Shit! Shit! Shit! Ok,
relax, no problem. That shouldn't be too tough, a gentleman
doesn't question a lady's trip to the lavatory before intimate

They got out of the car and Michelle led Bob upstairs to her
apartment on the second floor. They burst through the apartment
and immediately began tearing at each other's clothes. Their lips
came together in a flurry of passion and Michelle ventured her
tongue hesitatingly into Bob's mouth. He accepted it hungrily,
and parried her tongue's attack with his own, locking in a battle
hidden by their mashing lips.

Bob had hiked Michelle's dress up to her waist and was running
his hands beneath her panties. Michelle, meanwhile was furiously
unknotting his tie and removing his shirt, while maintaining full
contact with his lips.

<Michelle: Oh God. Let's just get to the bedroom. >

<Bob: Oh, God. Her breath smells from that clam sauce she had
with her pasta. Holy shit, they put a lot of fucking garlic in
that. If she wasn't such a great kisser, I wouldn't be able to
take much more of this.>

Michelle broke the kiss and looked him seductively in the eyes.
She took him by the hand and led him silently to the bedroom.
"Why don't you get comfortable in here. I have to, uh, I'll be
back in a minute." She smiled shyly as she headed into the

<Michelle: My breath must smell like a garlic factory, let me
gargle some mouthwash....Where's that Monistat? Let me hide this
thing, the last thing I need him seeing is this tube.>

Michelle rinsed her mouth and slid out of her dress, and
realizing she had no place to put in the bathroom, threw it over
the shower rod. Then she removed her pantyhose and underwear and
sat on the toilet to relieve herself.

<Michelle: What should I wear? Should I wear anything? Should I
put on my robe and leave the front untied, for a sultry,
seductive look. No, that'll look dumb, it's not a very sexy robe.
Besides, we're a little past the point of subtle seduction.>

<Bob: Nice big bed....Keep your hand off your cock, you want to
come before she even gets in bed?>

Michelle stepped into the doorway, striking a pose, her naked
body silhouetted by the light coming from her bathroom.

<Bob: Look at that body. Beautiful. Nice full thighs. tits are a
little smaller than I thought, no big deal, they're still nice
tits....Little Bobby's going to be a happy boy tonight.>

<Michelle: I did this stupid pose, now what?>

Bob held out his arm, signaling for Michelle to join him in bed.
She slithered in next to him and they began kissing softly while
exploring each other's body with their hands. Bob took the
initiative and rolled Michelle on to her back, lavishing her body
with kisses as he worked his way down her body. He kissed and
nibbled on her neck before moving down to her breasts. Kneading
the soft handfuls, he licked and gnawed at her engorged tips,
flicking the with his tongue as he held them gently between his

<Bob: I love these nips. They're so fucking long.>

<Michelle: Ohhh. That's incredible.>

"Mmmm, yeah. Suck on my tits." Michelle moaned.

Bob continued giving attention to her breasts for the next few
minutes before continuing his path down Michelle's body. He
reached her pussy and gave some tentative licks to the outer
lips, tasting her wetness. He traced her lips with his tongue,
then lightly began teasing her clitoral hood.

Michelle sighed in pleasure and Bob took the cue to give more
direct stimulation to her clit. He paused, though, ceasing his
tonging to investigate a disturbing odor.

<Bob: What's that smell? Don't tell me she farted. She fucking
farted? In my face....Well, that happens sometimes. Relax, just
ignore it. She's probably embarrassed....She did it
again?!?...This stinks down here>

<Michelle: OH GOD, I farted! I hope it doesn't smell. My little
farts usually never smell. I'd be so embarrassed. I knew I
shouldn't have had the white clam sauce with my linguine. That
always gives me gas. I'm just glad I haven't burped....He doesn't
seem to notice anything, though. >

<Bob: She has to realize I know she's farting. Give me a break,
Michelle! ...How do get your date to take a shit? There should be
a rule that makes sure you expel all of your bodily waste before
you let someone go down on you....I've never fucked a girl up the
ass without her having to run to the bathroom immediately
afterward. Maybe I should have started her off with an buttfuck
so she'd have to run to the bathroom and take a dump.>

As well as the date had gone up to this point, it seemed to be
taking an almost abrupt 180 degree turn.

"Lick my pussy." Michelle said quietly, having noticed that Bob

<Bob: Maybe I can blow this stench out of the way. Excuse me, I
need a little oxygen down here! Ladies and Gentlemen, Dinner is
served!....Oh, God. Somebody, please kill the chef, the dinner is

<Michelle: What the hell is he waiting for, is he studying to be
an OB-GYN, for christsakes? He started out so good, now he's just
staring at it. Maybe he's never seen one before. Oh Lord, he's a
virgin, he doesn't know what he's doing. I'm going to kill Cindy
for this. WHY ME?? Why do I constantly meet these guys? Excuse
me, do you want to borrow my camera, so you can have a
keepsake??!! Oh, this was such a mistake! >

Bob, relatively assured that most of the smell was gone, resumed
his oral attack of Michelle's pussy, relaxing her once again.

<Michelle: Finally! I hope I don't have to give him a lot of
instructions. Cindy's going to hear it from me on Monday.>

<Bob: Holy shit, trim some of this snatch hair, baby. Either
that or find yourself some Amish people and knit a fucking
quilt....What the hell is that taste? What is that? Is that piss?
That can't be piss. I'm not licking piss. She didn't dab herself
after peeing. This is so fucking gross. I can't do this. I'm just
going to finger her.>

<Michelle: Oh, great three licks and he's out. I can hardly wait
until he puts it in me. What happened to the great guy I went out
with tonight? ....What's he doing with his fingers? I hope he
isn't trying to figure out where things go..... Oh, that's
actually feeling good. Ohhh.>

"Ohh, yeah, come on baby lick me, lick my pussy." Michelle

<Bob: Lick her pussy again, why didn't I just get drunk and
stumble home? Maybe I could have gotten lucky and fallen asleep
in a puddle of my own vomit....On the bright side, I've already
probably licked away all the piss. That's the bright side? That's
the FUCKING BRIGHT SIDE???!!!.... What is this shit in here? This
is like cheese. Excuse me, waiter, I didn't order cheese with my
meal. Oh, that's not cheese, that's yeast? Thank you very
much....I can officially be sick now. Maybe I should get some
flour and water and bake a loaf of fucking bread down here....Hey
Michelle, here's a hint, CLEAN YOUR FUCKING CUNT! Shit, let me
just get this over with. This started out as such a great date.
She's pretty, sexy, we have a lot in common...but what happened?
...Maybe I'll be home in time to catch the 2:30 Sportscenter.>

<Michelle: What's he doing down there? If you don't know what
you're doing then get out of there and let's get this over
with....So much for expecting good sex after having such a good
time earlier....This is just like when I started dating Dave.
Now there's a guy who didn't know his way around the female
anatomy...but he learned -- a little, anyway -- after I was very
patient with him....What a real asshole he turned out to be. Two
fucking years of my life wasted on him. 'Oh, by the way Shel,
I met somebody else, have a nice life.'...bastard....Even after
two years, he was lousy in bed. I'm just pissed that I wasted
all that time with him....Well, I'm not going to waste my time
with any man from now on. They have to be serious about me, and
know what it takes to please me. I'm not getting any younger; 29
in October and I'm not going to fritter my life away on one loser
after another, including Bobby-no-tongue down here....What the
hell is this guy doing, anyway? Time for a lesson....Ugh, these
men! Do any of them know how a woman's body works?>

"Here, lick this" She spread her lips open, giving him better
access to her sensitive little nubbin. <I've got to help this guy
out; give him some clue what to do down there.>

<Bob: I know what a fucking clit is, you bitch. I'm just
nauseated by your cunt...I don't know what's worse, Michelle and
her bakery down here or Tracy from a few months ago with the big
snatch....Now that was a big fucking pussy. There was just so
much extra skin that was in the way. It was like she had a set of
fucking gills instead of pussy lips. A lot like those dogs with
the jowls that hang down....If the saying about loose lips were
true, Tracy could sink an entire fleet. (He chuckled to
himself)... Oh, this just doesn't smell right. First she farts,
then the piss, then the yeast, I'm done down here.>

"Come on baby, suck my dick." Bob scooted up the bed, looking to
get some satisfaction of his own.

<Michelle: Talk about a dud, orally....And I had such high hopes
for his potential.>

<Bob: Would she be overly offended, if as a token of my
affection, I buy her a douche? And do they only come in those
Massengil boxes, or can you still find them in the bags like you
hear so much about?

Michelle began kissing her way down his chest until she got to
his erect prick. She took it in her hand and licked up and down
the shaft, periodically swirling her tongue around the head.

<Michelle: What the hell is this smell? Like the container of
Tupperware that's been left in the back of the refrigerator for a
few months...Come on buddy, wash your dick...Oh, I hope I don't
get herpes of the mouth....Cindy, you're dead!>

<Bob: What's she waiting for. Don't tell me she doesn't know
what to do! She better not use her teeth....How quickly can the
best date of your life turn into the worst?>

<Michelle: What is this white shit here? It's like it's dry and
crusty. I have no idea what it is, but could this be smegma? This
is what I needed, an up close view of Smegma. SMEGMA! I'm going
to be sick. I've got to wipe this away before I do anything. >

<Bob: Don't jerk me off, suck me. Come on put the fucking thing
back in your mouth.>

<Michelle: Well, that's a little better. At least he's not too
big, no danger of gagging....I'm going to need to call my mother after this and swear at her, just so she'll tell me to wash my
mouth out with soap....That's it, I'm out; I'm done dating. I'm
becoming celibate, maybe even a nun....I've never thrown up on a
dick before, this could be the first. It would probably improve
the taste. I wonder if he'd leave right now if I did. Or maybe I
can offer him money to leave. I think I have a fifty in my wallet;
it'll be like reverse prostitution.>

Michelle tried to hide her laughter, but couldn't help chuckling
between sucks. Bob, meanwhile, was oblivious as he was enjoying
the feeling of her lips and tongue on his cock.

<Bob: At least she knows how to suck dick. That's not too bad.
That noise that she's making feels real good on my cock, too. She
better pull off soon, though, or I'm going to lose it.>

<Michelle: This is enough to turn me into a lesbian....If he
says he's going to call me I think I'll have to change my
number....I'm going to be sick. I can't believe I lasted this
long on his dick. I'm done with sucking this! When will this

<Bob: Good timing on her part. She knew just when to pull off.>

<Michelle: He's ready to fuck. Please don't kiss me, please
don't kiss me! Let's just get this over with.>

<Bob: I'm rolling her over and giving it to her from behind. Her
breath now smells of that fucking clam sauce mixed with mint
mouthwash. I think the clam sauce smell by itself was better.>

<Michelle: He's rolling me over. I don't have to watch!!! One
point for me! Maybe I'll get real lucky and he's a premature
ejaculator and he'll leave soon....Oh, God. I'm actually hoping
that he's a premature ejaculator. I've never wanted anyone to
finish as quickly as I do now!!>

Bob slid his erect cock along the length of Michelle's pussy,
getting it moist from the contact with her engorged labia. He
plunged it in slowly, grabbing her hips as he did, feeling her
walls engulf him snugly. He eased himself out before ramming
forward with another thrust. Michelle grunted with his thrusts as
her pussy got accustomed to the feeling of Bob's intruding

Bob reached around to Michelle's front and began fingering her
clit as rocked his cock in and out of her sex. Michelle whimpered
under the dual attention her pussy was getting and found it
difficult to concentrate on anything but the pleasure that she
was receiving.

<Michelle: Ungh. He's not bad at this. Ooh. Ooooh. He's good at
this. Very good! Ungh. Maybe I was hasty at, ohhh, judging him.
Maybe he just, ungh, can't eat, mmmm, pussy well, that's all.

<Bob: What a tight little pussy. Ohhh. What the fuck is she
doing with her cunt muscles? That's incredible. She's squeezing
them on my dick. I've had girls do that before, but never like
this; it's like she has a little hand in there squeezing
me....Baseball. Football. My 75 year old neighbor, Mrs. Sanders.
Come on, concentrate! Don't lose it. Think of something. World
series winners: 1967, Cardinals; 1968, Tigers; 1969, Mets; 1970,
Orioles; 1971, Pirates; 1972, 1973, 1974, A's; 1975, 1976, Reds;
1977,1978, Yankees; 1979, Pirates; 1980, Phillies; 1981,
Dodg...Oh, much better, the feeling has passed. Come on, make
this last....I think I'll hold off for a while now. Nice and
slow. ...What a great fuck....Get it in deeply; bottom
out....Fuck, she has a great ass. How pissed would she be if I
switched holes? That ass is just too tempting, I'm going to have
to lick my finger and play with it.>

<Michelle: Oh God. What a fuck this guys is....What's he doing
with his finger back there? Hey! Ohhhh that's nice. That feels so
fucking good....I take back everything I was thinking about him.
Ohhhh, fuck. OH! OH! OHHHH!>

"Ohhhh, fuck me harder!" Michelle grunted. "Yeah, that's it baby.
Mmmm. Come on, fuck me. Ungh."

"Oh fuck, you're so fucking good. Your pussy is so hot."

<Bob: Oh, shit. She's squeezing even harder. I'm not going to be
able to take much more than this....Try to hold off, slow down
the strokes....I want to come so bad, I can't hold off for much

Michelle screeched in orgasm as Bob continued to pound away at
her spasming pussy. Although he tried to hold out for as long as
he could, the contractions of her vagina on his cock was too
much. He could feel the pressure build in his balls and in just a
half-dozen more furious strokes he lost himself within her tight
fleshy walls.

Out of weakness Michelle could no longer hold herself up on her
hands and knees, and she flopped on her stomach. Bob rolled next
to her and was sweating and panting heavily, trying to catch his

<Bob: What a great fuck. Ok, maybe she needs to douche, and
farting in my face was bad, but that was honestly the best fuck
of my life. The things she does with her pussy muscles are just

<Michelle: Mmmm. I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow,
but that's fine....He might not be able to go down very well, but
he sure knows how to fuck.>

Michelle rolled over and snuggled close to Bob, idly running her
fingertips through his chest hair. He lifted his arm up and
placed it on her shoulder and absentmindedly began playing with
her soft brown hair.

<Bob: Now what? I can't just jump up and leave, but what the
fuck should I do? This is so comfortable -- so right -- I could
just fall asleep here....We had sex, but that doesn't mean she
wants me to spend the night. This blows, trying to figure out
what I sh...I'm hungry, I wonder what she has in the
fridge. Stop worrying about food....Shit, what should I do?>

<Michelle: Should I ask him to stay the night? Oh God, I hate
this. If I ask him, he'll just come up with a lame lie about
needing to get up tomorrow....Damn, I have to pee....If he lies
about having something to do tomorrow, I'll get pissed....What am
I going to do? The date was nice, but things were kind of awkward
when we first got back. Awkward, that's a nice word. I was ready
to vomit on his cock....I guess I overreacted. No, I *know* I
overreacted....Do I really care what he does now, do I want to
see him again? I guess I really do. He's a nice guy -- and a
great fuck....I gotta pee. Come on, make a decision....Maybe if
I go to the bathroom, he'll make the decision for us. He'll either
be asleep or getting dressed with a lame excuse -- and if he comes
up with one I don't think I want to see him again....I hate this.>

"I have to get up and ... use the little girl's room." Michelle
stated softly. <'little girls' room' That sounds so corny.>

"This must be a larger apartment than it seems. I didn't realize
you had a girls' room and a boys' room." Bob deadpanned.

Michelle laughed and flashed a broad smile at Bob as she pounced
up from the bed and walked gingerly to the bathroom.

<Michelle: He's a really funny guy. And he was so nice on our
date. And, well, the sex was....Please don't turn out to be a

<Bob: What a great ass -- and that smile. I've got to see her
again, but I want to get out of here. I don't feel comfortable
just inviting myself to sleep over....I've got to handle this
just right.>

As Michelle returned from the bathroom, Bob was buttoning his
shirt, almost fully dressed.

"Oh, are you leaving?" Michelle blurted out, unable to hide the
sadness in her voice. <Don't get mad and don't cry. Just be

"Michelle, I'd love to stay the night," Bob said sincerely, "but
we hadn't talked about it and I didn't want to put you on the
spot by inviting myself to sleep over." He smiled slightly,
hoping that she would understand, and not think that he was just
trying to get out as quickly as possible.

<Michelle: He's not a creep. He's actually a nice guy.>

"That's really considerate of you, but it would have been ok for
you to spend the night, too." Michelle smiled as she was grabbing
her robe, walking Bob toward the door. < 'would have been ok'?
How about nice? Or sweet? I couldn't think of something better
than 'ok'? I really am vocabularially challenged when talking to
men....Is that even a word, I mean I th...What did he say?>

<Bob: Now she says something....I could be asleep right now,
with something nice and warm to snuggle up to.>

"Well, as silly as it may sound after what we just finished
doing," Bob blushed a bit and then looked into Michelle's eyes
and smiled deeply. "But I didn't want to impose."

<Bob: I hope I don't sound like a real weenie. 'But I didn't
want to impose' -- oh yeah, major weenie alert.>

Michelle smiled and reached out for Bob's hand, squeezing it in
her own, and kissed him warmly on the cheek.

"You're a nice guy, Bob. I had a great time tonight." <Ask me out
again. Ask me out again. Come on, ask me out again.>

"Would you, uh," Bob cleared his throat, "like to go out next
Friday. Maybe dinner and a movie?" <Say yes. Say yes. Say yes.>

"Sounds great," she gushed. "I'd love to."

Bob sighed in relief. "Great, I'll give you a call this week to
make plans."

<Michelle: Kiss goodnight? No kiss goodnight? What's it going to
be? This is silly, we had sex!>

Bob answered Michelle's unspoken question by grabbing her hips
firmly, bringing her nearer to him. He leaned in and their lips
met tenderly, kissing for well over a minute, until they were
forced to come up for air. Then they simply stared in each
other's eyes for what seemed to them like a lifetime,
transmitting a million thoughts and feelings to each other
without uttering a word.

"I should be going, it's getting pretty late. I'll give you a
call this week to finalize plans, ok." Bob said, walking out her

"Ok, bye." Michelle smiled as he headed toward the stairs.

<Bob: I definitely have a new opinion of blind dates now.>

<Michelle: I can't wait to thank Cindy Monday morning.>
Copyright 1999
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