| Change of Heart
by Sara H
Categories: FF, F-dom, MC, NC, cons
If you think mind control that deal with sex in
various forms are obscene, disgusting or anything other
than fantasy, please go elsewhere. This is for adults
eighteen years of age or only.
©2001 by Sara H. Please do not post elsewhere without
express permission of the author.
Here's hoping you enjoy.
"Gail, how do you feel?"
Stupid question. She was about to say so, but the words
"Sorry. We have a ventilator blocking your larynx. Hold on
Gail closed her eyes.
She woke up again. Dizziness washed into her like the air
she was breathing.
"There you are. You fell back asleep for another hour. It
will still take awhile for the anesthetic to subside, but
you should be about done with drifting in and out now, at
least for a bit."
*Fuck you,* was the first verbally recognizable thought
that came through. "Thanks," was what she said.
Gail let her eyes slowly focus. She was looking at a light
blue wall. She turned her head upward and saw several
devices monitoring her: Blood pressure, heart rate, and
something she didn't recognize. There was an IV attached to
the back of her hand. Her legs were both in casts... the
left one extended all the way from her ankle to her hip.
She saw the nurse standing beside her bed. The nurse was
Margaret, according to the overly cheery nametag with the
yellow-and-black smiley face on it. What the fuck had
happened? "What's going on?" she said out loud.
"Just lie back. I'll tell you what I can. Give me a second
to change your IV fluids." Nurse Margaret disappeared from
She looked to her left and saw an sleeping on a
hospital bed about ten feet away. *Recovery room,* came the
phrase, occurring to her as if it were a brilliant insight.
The moaned. She smelled antiseptic and shit. How
Margaret returned with a new IV bag. "Here we are. Sorry
about this, but we don't switch you over until you wake up.
You'll feel much better in about ten seconds."
It didn't feel like ten seconds. It felt more like ten
minutes. Then, with no warning, the recovery room was
transformed into something glowing and wonderful, and time
didn't matter anymore.
Margaret leaned over and lifted Gail's eyelids, shining a
light to check the response time of her pupils. "Good," she
She placed the instrument on the cart beside the bed and
leaned closer to Gail, right beside her head. Gail found
that to be particularly amusing, and she let out a short
"Listen carefully," Margaret whispered into Gail's ear.
"Listen to my voice. It is all you can hear. You love
Regina. You have loved her for years. Nothing is more
important. You have lost your memory, but you remember your
name. You remember that you have always loved Regina. The
harder you try to remember anything else, the more it fades
away. When you awaken in your room, instead of remembering
more and more, you will remember less and less. The only
two things that matter are that you know your name, and
that you love Regina. *Regina.* You love, honor and obey
"She is your most precious secret, and you do not tell
anyone about her.
"The more you recover and feel better, the more you feel
the irresistible urge to call Regina at 489-0725. 489-0725.
You will remember seeing me here as an angel in a wonderful
Gail fought upward through the fog. Her eyes took on an
adoring glow. "God, I do love... her. But I... I don't know
why I'm here. I need more than anything to call... um...
someone. Someone I miss. I feel so lost."
Margaret smiled at the last. It was still amazing to her
how the mind could begin to fill in the gaps so quickly.
Kara Doane signed another book. She was surprised at the
turnout, really. For such a small town, there seemed to be
quite a few poetry lovers. The crowd had been incredibly
warm and intimate, making this small detour from the rest
of her breakneck book tour a wonderful change of pace.
She looked up to see a woman of perhaps twenty
staring intently at her. "Who should I make this out to?"
asked Kara, smiling broadly.
"Jennifer," answered the girl. "I have something for you,
"And what would that be?"
"Well, um... I make custom perfumes... and I thought I'd
give you a sample. It's my own little corner of creativity.
I hope you don't mind," said Jennifer, smiling.
"No, I'm touched," answered Kara, sincerely flattered. It
was such a kind gesture that even if she didn't like the
aroma, she'd probably keep the bottle. It was incredibly
"Thank you," said Jennifer, blushing. "I know it's kind of
silly, but it means a lot to me."
"No, thank *you*," replied Kara.
Three books later, her agent signaled that it was time for
the signing to end. Deftly, but with a little sadness, she
signed the last book and stood as the bookstore owner
"Let's have one more hand for Ms. Doane!"
To the sound of applause, and after receiving more than a
few hugs, she left the bookstore and headed to the waiting
taxi. She looked around, but couldn't see Jennifer
anywhere. The had disappeared.
She shrugged and got in the car. She had received many
kind gestures over the duration of the tour, but she
thought she might get the chance to thank the one last
She gave the driver the name of her hotel as she pulled
the perfume bottle out of her purse and looked at it. She'd
never been into perfume, really, but she thought it might
be fun to see how this would smell on her.
She sprayed a bit onto her wrist. She waved it around for
a moment to dry and then sniffed gently. Nothing. She
sprayed on a bit more.
*Maybe it's just water,* she thought, smiling to herself.
But no, it dried so quickly that it almost looked like it
was being consumed by her skin. She sniffed again.
She thought she got the slightest whiff of something, but
it smelled... well, medicinal, really. She laughed softly,
strangely amused by an odorless perfume. She pumped the
bottle about ten times into the air of the cab, and shook
her head, breathing deeply.
A wave of pleasant dizziness washed over her unexpectedly
and she fell back onto the seat. She could barely move, but
she wasn't worried about it. This was just so *nice*.
She noticed that the driver was putting a tape in the
player. "A little light music," she said sloppily as she
giggled. She fumbled with the perfume bottle again, but the
cap fell off, spilling the entire contents onto her bare
legs and the floor. "Drrrrrink up, legs," she laughed, as
she watched the liquid vanish quickly, absorbed by her skin.
Her hand dropped and she stared blankly forward, her mouth
hanging slightly open as she entered an entirely new world.
She was in a cloud, moving down the street. She lost track
of direction or even why she was here. But someone was
talking to her.
"Listen carefully," said the voice. Kara listened
carefully. Why not? "Listen to my voice. It is all you can
hear. My name is Justine. You love me, and love my voice.
You have loved me for years. Nothing is more important.
"You are to be found at an accident scene. You are
miraculously unhurt, except for one thing. You have lost
your memory. You remember the following things only. You
remember your name. You remember that you have always loved
Justine. The harder you try to remember anything else, the
more it fades away. When you awaken, instead of remembering
more and more, you will remember less and less. The only
two things that matter are that you know your name, and
that you love Justine. *Justine*. You love, honor and obey
"She is your most precious secret, and you will not tell
anyone about her.
"The more you recover and feel better, the more you feel
the irresistible urge to call Justine at 489-0725. 489-
0725. You will remember all the times we have shared, but
none of the details. You will remember this cab ride as a
*What a strange dream,* thought Kara, as her life and
memory slipped away. *What a wonderful voice...*
Nadine checked the caller ID before picking up the phone.
She steeled herself to rudely hang up on Mr. or Ms. Out Of
Area, since it was nearly always a telemarketer. She had
about ten nasty comments from which to choose, and decided
that this time she would use the "answering machine" gambit.
"Hello?" she said sweetly.
"Is this Ms. Moore?" asked a sweet voice.
"Hmm. Sounds like no one's home. Please leave a message
after the tone."
"I have a notion that your mind is swimming in an ocean of
irresistible motion. It is safe to speak. Who do you love,
"Good girl. loves you, too."
Nadine's heart leapt at the words. She had never felt
anything so complete as the love she felt for Penelope.
Deep inside, the need to show that love, to do anything so
that she could repay this gift of happiness and
joy, sprang to life.
"Someone else needs to love Penelope, too. You love to
share the gift of loving Penelope, don't you, Nadine."
"Yes. I love to share the gift."
"Her name is Catherine Williams. She is a psychotherapist.
Please listen carefully to how you can prove your love to
Not too much later, Nadine hung up the phone, changed her
clothes, and, smiling and humming softly, headed for the
Kirkville Medical Office Pavilion.
Vonda Jamieson sat in the reclining chair, fingers
furiously teasing her labia and clit. Her eyes never
blinked as she watched the images flying past her eyes, the
spiral pattern in the pixels always present, always pulling
She no longer noticed the tubes of chemicals attached to
her legs and arms, or the receptors attached to hundreds of
points over her body. She didn't think about the electrical
currents that ran between them as voltage transmitters
implanted beneath the skin of her fingertips tripped them,
sending rivulets of mind-melting, addictive pleasure deep
into the synaptic patterning of her cerebral cortex.
For Vonda, there was no time. No future, no past. There
was only the sexual need pouring into her, borne of her
eternal love for and devotion to Lakita, and played out
endlessly in the orgasmic pleasure she received as she
watched each image and heard each directive. Each became,
for one blissful moment, a moment both eternal and too
short to fathom. Each moment was her complete existence.
Her powdered chocolate skin and chiseled face dripped from
the sweat of her endless exertion. It was her third day of
training. She had not slept yet. She would not sleep until
she collapsed from exhaustion. Long before then, any
remaining resistance would be obliterated.
On the other side of a two-way mirror, two women watched
her. One was smiling, one was not. One looked charmed, the
The smiling woman was Agatha. She went by many names, but
this was the one she had given to the woman standing beside
That woman, the horrified woman, was Dr. Catherine Williams.
"She was much like you, Dr. Williams. You don't mind if I
call you Catherine, do you?"
"Catherine it is, then. Vonda, here, was able to resist
the little cocktail I sent her way by way of a pizza
delivery girl. Actually, she resisted even more strongly
than you. She didn't come here on her own, as you did. You
may not have been fully 'under the influence,' but you came
anyway, exactly as I commanded. Vonda fought valiantly and
even tried to hide herself. And look at her now. Her large
store of resistance in nearly depleted."
Agatha turned a dial and the hum of the machinery before
her raised slightly in volume and pitch.
"But resistance is not such a bad thing. Once she is
converted, as you will be, she will be among the most
fiercely devoted of my lovers. She will resist changing
back even more strongly than she resisted falling to me. I
call it psychological tempering."
"You mean pyschological *tampering*. You call it love.
This *isn't* love," spat Catherine. "Love isn't coercion."
"On the contrary, Cathy, it is love beyond what most
people ever consider possible," laughed Agatha. "It is also
the best motivation there is. Most people don't resist
falling in it, or doing what it calls them to do. They are
passionate about it, in fact. They will lie, cheat, steal,
worship, and kill for it. They will also do honorable
things. Anything for love. It's all about what makes them
feel love more strongly. And unlike the love we've known
throughout history that dies and sends people to mind-
warpers like you, this love never dies. It only gets
"Call it coercion if you like. But you'll understand, soon
"You're going to get caught," said Catherine, staring at
Agatha with barely contempt.
"No, I won't. I'm a secret lover, revealed only in the
safest of circumstances. And each woman knows and remembers
me differently. I am to the woman who brought you
to me. To you, I'm Agatha. For now."
"And how many 'lovers' do you have?"
"Not possible. You can't give them enough attention."
"Very possible. Believing is reality. They believe they
spend the majority of their free time with me. To them, I'm
as devoted as they."
"To what end?"
"Because I can, perhaps. But I'd be lying to say that. I
just fucking *like* being in control, and having my love
agents spread like semi-dormant virii throughout society.
Several of your friends are already mine. That's how I
found you, Cath.
"So far, I've only added single, unattached women to my
love nest. That is about to change. I've already begun
stealing select operatives from society, mostly at random,
who will serve me here. You will be joining them, actually.
And please don't say that you'll never agree. Think it if
you must, but I can't stand trite phrases."
"Please call me Catherine. I'll never agree," said
Catherine, happy to have found some way to be grating to
"See how easily you are manipulated under stress? I *love*
it when someone says that.
"Now, please follow me," said Agatha, turning abruptly and
walking towards the door.
"And if I don't?" Catherine wasn't feeling as defiant as
her words, but she felt like she had a duty to fight at
"Stay here if you like. Eventually you'll get hungry,
bored or just plain lonely. If you're strong enough, you'll
stay until you fall asleep. In any case, you will end up
where I want you."
"I could escape," countered Catherine.
"No you couldn't," replied Agatha. The casual sound of her
voice brimmed with easy confidence.
Catherine thought about trying to run, but instead slumped
slightly as she felt herself give in. *Choose your fights,*
she told herself.
"I'm coming," she sighed.
"No, you're not. But you will be soon. I'll make sure of
"Lesson one. You must let go of your past reality. It does
not serve you. It does not fulfil your needs. It is a vain
attempt to fill places inside you that have been empty
since shortly after birth. It is the desire to return to
the womb. It cannot be accomplished. But that desire can be
reconstructed in a way that you recognize, and can be
resolved. That is what we will begin to do now."
"This is bullshit," slurred Catherine. The inside of her
head felt like it was glowing and pulsing, like she was on
some wonderful, euphoric drug. But she hadn't been given
any drugs. Had she?
"You may tell yourself that. You will see it differently
soon. You still think you have the means to escape me. You
Catherine knew better than to question. There was no
telling what tortures Agatha could devise if she were
unsuccessful. The woman was obviously crazy as a loon. *As
a loony tuney loon, loon, loon,* sang Catherine's thoughts.
"You have lived under a false principle. You have thought
that the resolution of the past is the key to present
happiness. It has been basic to your mindset. It is what
has kept you from discovering how much love is possible.
But the past can't be resolved. I want you to say, 'The
past is my enemy,' Cath."
"It's Catherine, and no, I won't. It's not true," said
Catherine. Her mouth felt like it was full of wool flannel.
Agatha adjusted the controls and spoke into the microphone
again. The ultrasonic subliminals sang more forcefully from
the matte black pads at Catherine's temples. The effect was
immediately noticeable as her brow furrowed in futile
"It wasn't true yesterday. It wasn't true this morning,
Now, however, it's true. When you say things, you can see
them for how true they are. So humor me, please," cooed
Agatha. "Say, 'The past is my enemy,' Cathy-love. I want
you to see how true it is."
"It's... Cath-er-ine..." said the psychologist as
she considered complying. Somewhere inside she was curious.
It sounded very logical, really. But she also knew she was
in no condition to judge logic. Then again, Agatha was in a
position to recognize what was logical. Agatha seemed to
still be in control of her faculty waculty baculty
saculties. Agatha seemed so smart. Agatha *was* so smart.
*Smarty, party, darty, larty,* sang her thoughts.
"Say it," demanded Agatha, her finger poised and ready.
"The... past is my enemy," whispered Catherine.
Agatha's finger touched a button on the console.
Catherine shivered as needle-fingers of pleasure rode over
the surface of her skin, teasing her. "Wh-what are you
doing?" she managed to say through her trembling lips.
"Me? Nothing. That is the feeling that comes from telling
"Does... not," said Catherine, her head falling backward.
It felt like it was covered in a warm blanket. "The truth
doesn't doooo that."
"Then say it again. Prove it was coincidence."
"The past is my enemy."
Catherine's back arched and she cried out as electric
pleasure danced like a thousand perfect ballerinas on her
skin, tunneling inwards. She cried out loudly, grunting
slightly as the sensation faded away.
"I can't stop something if I'm not doing anything, Callie.
You're just accepting the truth more each time you say it,
so the pleasure gets stronger. Say it again."
Catherine (Callie?) knew it couldn't be true. But there
was no denying that it felt fucking *good*. One more time
wouldn't hurt, would it?
"The past is my enemy," said Catherine. Her tongue ran
around her lips in an unconscious, lewd display of growing
sexual desire. Agatha smiled and pressed the button.
Catherine was far too busy fighting and losing to correct
Agatha for calling her anything she wanted, now.
Callie's skin was melting into molten, obscene, secret
pleasure. It was unlike anything she'd felt in her life.
She screamed and gyrated as it tore through her, opening up
places in her she'd never imagined could exist. She grasped
to hold onto it with her hands and feet as it began to
fade, but it was of no use. And then... it was gone,
leaving her empty and abandoned.
She had to get back there. *Had* to.
She felt something on her face and realized it was a tear.
"The past is my enemy..."
As pleasure ripped through her like a scythe, she realized
it was true. This was bliss, and her past had kept her from
it. "Thepastismyenemy thepastismyenemy thepastismyenemy..."
Agatha smiled and whispered into the microphone, "Good
girl, Callie. We're already making progress. Now, say, 'The
past is my enemy, and *my* past is an illusion,' Callie.
Feel how true it is."
She was answered by wails and gibbering as she set the
control panel to automatic and left to take a shower and
Callie, body jerking and clutching uncontrollably as the
barrage of sensory ecstasy swept through her again and
again, cried in joy, thoughtless as a newborn babe.
If anyone could have deciphered her ranting, they would
have heard that she was telling her newly discovered truth,
the only thought in her mind... over, and over, and over.
"Good evening, Callie."
Agatha smiled as the woman who had been Catherine Williams
pulled her head forward to look at her. Her hair was slick
and matted, and she was panting heavily.
"Tell me... what have you learned so far?"
"The past is my enemy, and *my* past is an illusion."
Callie's eyes rolled back in her head and her body
convulsed as she succumbed to orgasm, her mouth straining
silently as her muscles clenched and quaked within the
powerful jolt of pure pleasure.
Agatha smiled even more broadly. She had spontaneously
achieved orgasm with no outside stimulation at all. Things
were progressing very well indeed.
"And what do you think of me now?"
"I think you are a lunatic bitch."
"Hmm. That must not be absolutely true, since it didn't
bring you pleasure. Perhaps it's time for your next lesson.
"Lesson two. Women want sex from having fallen in love.
Men fall in love from wanting and having sex. Generally
speaking, of course. But humans are wired in an odd way. If
a woman achieves as orgasm with another person and isn't in
love with that person, her mind tends to become confused.
However, if there are no barriers, the mind will fall
easily into the belief that the woman must have loved her
partner for her to have received gratification.
"Therefore, you may think I'm a lunatic bitch, but if I
gratify you sexually and manage to remove your negative
opinion, you will realize quite suddenly that you have
loved me almost from the moment we met."
Agatha paused, waiting for a reaction.
Callie obliged her by saying, "Wouldn't telling me change
Agatha reached out and ran a fingernail down Callie's arm
as she answered. "Not at all. And you're shivering. You
see? You're already wondering just where the line is
between lunacy and eccentric charm. You're beginning to
find me more interesting than monstrous."
"I'm not homosexual," sniffed Callie, blushing slightly.
"That has nothing to do with falling in love, Callie,"
said Agatha, softly. "And besides, you will be soon."
Agatha looked Callie up and down and smiled approvingly.
"It goes both ways, you know. You will feel my love for you
as much as you love me, returned tenfold.
"My assistants will be in to prepare you for the
experiential phase of Lesson Two. And I know a secret."
"What would that be?" asked Callie, trying to be severe
despite the dampness between her legs.
"Part of you wants to see what's next."
Callie didn't argue. She didn't want to have to lie.
*to be continued*
Please send any comments to Sara H (firstname.lastname@example.org).
Thanks for reading!