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ISSUE 2 hurt the story all

 

Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #2
January 5, 2002

I've provided numerical ratings to these stories, but counting stars is
probably not the best way to judge whether you'll like a story or not.
Please, read the text of the reviews.

1
---

Stories reviewed in this issue:

My Eyes Adored You, by theGreatxIam (* * * *)
Meredith, by Katherine T. (* * *)
Making Life, by Green man (* * *)
Soccer Moms, by JT Langdon (* * * *)
The Birthday Present, by Laura Davis (* * *)
---

{ASSM} Subway series #3: My Eyes Adored You
By theGreatxIam <max_wojtylak@yahoo.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/34438

I don't know about you, but I've never thought to try to look up the
skirts of the female Fox news commentators on cable TV. But the narrator
of this story has, which is one reason why "My Eyes Adored You" is such
an atypical story. It's not often the star of a story is a couch
voyeur.

While I suspect being a couch voyeur sucks most of the time, on certain
rare occasions, it has its benefits. When the narrator of this story spots a cute young thing on the crowded subway, he inadvertantly gets
wrapped up in a fight between the girl and her clod of an ex-boyfriend.
While the other passengers pretend not to notice, the taunting and
name-calling worsen until the girl needs to do something to prove she's
not as undesireable as the jerk says.

If only there was a wide-eyed couch voyeur sitting nearby with a
hard-on, then she would show him!

This is a unique, intelligent story. Even the sex is told with
exceptional style. My only small criticism is the girl is supposed to be
sixteen, but she seemed older than that, and I don't think it would have
hurt the story at all if the author had changed every "16" to "18". But
that's a minor complaint. If you like smart sex stories, you'll like "My
Eyes Adored You."
Rating: * * * *

---

{ASSM} Meredith (FF, lesbian) (Katherine T.)
By Katherine T. <kt1960@earthlink.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/34440

A young woman isn't quite sure what she wants in life, but an older woman is there to show her the way. Meredith is the one who finds
enlightenment in this story, with the aid of her older neighbor, Helen.

When these Meredith and Helen aren't climbing the road to Mount Orgasm,
this story falters. There is an attempt to define these characters, to
make them seem real, but the descriptions are bland and left me aching
for the story to get started. For example, we are told Meredith is shy,
but why tell us this? Shyness is a major personality trait. Shouldn't
we be able to figure this out from the rest of the story?

Other than the sex, the story is at its best when the women are talking
to one another. I think I learned more about these women from a few
snips of quoted dialogue than from all the rest of the story combined.
The dialogue is so good, I found myself disappointed when it would
disappear for several paragraphs.

Don't get me wrong - this is not a bad story. There are some bits and
pieces that are as good as any story I've ever read in ASSM, and the
girly sex is great. I just wish this story had a little more punch up
front.
Rating: * * *

---

{ASSM} "Making Life" (MF, rom, impreg)
By Green man <greenman@nym.alias.net>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/34460

A nice, romantic romp between a man and his fertile wife. This couple is
particuarly fond of the "fertile Earth" metaphor, which is pretty cute.

And that just about sums up this story. It's cute. It's nice. The couple
gets very aroused, which was a lot of fun. Not much plot, just a damned
good excuse for two people to fuck.

The author needs a referesher course on lay versus lie, and there were a
few other grammar and spelling errors that crept in just as the action
heated up, but it's not a badly-written story. What we really have here
is a romantic stroke story, and a pretty good one at that.
Rating: * * *

---

{ASSM} NEW: Soccer Moms (FF) by JT Langdon
By JT Langdon <LangdonJT@aol.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/34470

I learned a couple things from this story. First, some girlfriends and
wives of men who play on amateur soccer teams actually go to the soccer
games and watch their husbands and boyfriends play. Of course there is
no obvious reason to do this - soccer is boring enough when played by
professionals, can you imagine what it's like when played by a bunch of
weekend athletes?

The second thing I learned was there is some logic behind the women
showing up to these games. Of course they are completely disinterested
in the game itself. The women *really* show up so they can pick up the
other women who are there to watch the game.

And it's a competetive game, this picking up of other women. Maggie is
the experienced one, and she has Dana in her sights. After the game,
when the boys are sent off to get more wine, Maggie lines up for the
game-winning field goal (I know, I'm mixing my sports metaphors). If you
want to know if she scores, you'll have to read the story yourself. Oh,
who am I fooling? Of course they score. This is ASSM, after all!

This story doesn't have the perfect pace of the very best ASSM stories -
some parts drag out a little too long, and others are a little too
short - but this is a enjoyable story with an interesting plot and a fun
way of looking at picking up sex partners. Maybe it's just me, but the
thought of women "on the prowl" never fails to get me going.

And now I have a much greater appreciation for soccer, especially the
part that takes place in the bleachers!
Rating: * * * *

---

{ASSM} The Birthday Present by Laura Lynn Davis, f/f rom
By Laura Davis <ldavis4@hotmail.com>
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2002/34472

This is an interesting story about a rich girl whose daddy wants to buy
her a nice present for her sixteenth birthday. At the particular
boutique they shop at, the store makes a big show of displaying an
impressive diamond necklace. Everyone leaves the room except the
birthday girl and another sixteen-year-old girl, who is the model for
the jewelry. The model removes her robe to reveal the diamond, and,
well, there is more than one jewel hiding beneath that robe!

For me, the story raises more questions than it answers. The ending,
while intersting, doesn't quite fit. There is the mention of a curse
associated with the necklace that is never followed up on. It almost
seems like the author started writing a bigger story, but cut it off
before she could finish it.

The girls are still very sexy, the story is still comfortably written,
and the story is still very short, so there isn't much harm in reading
"The Birthday Present." While the flaws in such a short story are hard
to miss, I think most readers will still enjoy reading this one.
Rating: * * *

 

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