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ISSUE 30 stories would like probably


Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #30
March 19, 2002

This issue contains more story reviews from the Virago Blue Challenge,
Chicks in Chain Mail. On the whole, the challenge resulted in two
types of stories: fantasy pieces, which I rarely like, and inside
jokes which I didn't understand.

Most of the participants in the challenge are among my favorite authors
in ASSM. Unfortunately, the chain mail challenge lent itself to story
types that aren't my cup of tea. Honestly, most stories appeared to be
aimed at other authors rather than the general reading public, and I
suspect that the authors will find my reviews of these stories irrelevant.
Had I known in advance that the stories would be like, I probably would
have skipped the entire challenge. But now that I only have two more
stories to go, I do feel compelled to review the remainder.

Reviews are archived at


Stories reviewed in this issue:

The Good, the Bad and the Virago, by PleaseCain (* *)
Streaks, by Shon Richards (* * *)
Momentos, by celia batau (* * *)
The Fox and the Chick, by Leowulf (* * *)
Bianca Sends a Warning, by Desdmona22 (* * *)

{ASSM} [VBC] "The Good, the Bad and the Virago" by PleaseCain
By PleaseCain <>

This Virago Blue Challenge story completely baffles me. I
recognize all the words, and I can parse all the sentences, and
on the surface, it makes some sense. But I have no idea what this
extremely short story is talking about. Painters, I think, ogling
a chick in chainmail?

I smell an inside joke. Insiders will probably get it. Outsiders
probably won't.
Rating: * *


{ASSM} [VBC] "Streaks" (M/F, Fantasy, Bondage, Hero/Villain, Rom)
By Shon Richards <>

Here we have a fantasy story about the battle between Viona the
White and Zandark the Cruel. It is, apparently, an on-going
battle in which Viona submits to being fucked in exchange for the
destruction of a dark tower.

One of the problems with the Virago Blue Chicks in Chainmail
Challenge is I don't like fantasy or historical fiction. This
particular fantasy piece is well-written, and it isn't weighed
down by overly flowery prose. There is even a real sex scene
here, something that is missing from many challenge stories.

But it's still fantasy, and it's still hard for me to read it
without being acutely aware that these people are unreal.
Rating: * * *


{ASSM} [VBC] Momentos {celia batau} (vbc2)
By celia batau <>

Another entry in the Virago Blue Challenge, this is actually
eight mostly unrelated vignettes. According to the introductory
paragraph, they are somehow responses to things other authors
have said. Since I am not aware what the other authors said,
it's hard to say how effective they are in that context. In
many of the vignettes, there are Greek gods making a nuisance
of themselves.

They are very well-written little scenes and vivid in their
imagery. Is there any sex here? Some, sort of. Is there any
story here? No, not really.

But it's as entertaining a non-story as you will likely see.
Rating: * * *


{ASSM} [VBC] The Fox and the Chick (F/M, F/F, oral, bond, magic, myth)
By Leowulf <>

Another entry in the Chicks in Chainmail challenge, "The Fox and
the Chick" is a fantasy story that takes place during what
appears to be a war between the mages and the maenads. Fox's
outpost is about to be overrun by the maenad horde, and a
bodyguard is dispatched to escort him to safety.

Did I mention the maenads are sexually obsessed women who rape
every man they take captive? Did I mention Fox's bodyguard is a
very large, very beautiful woman wearing magic chainmail?

There is something about this challenge that brings out the
punster in many authors, and this author is no exception. The
writing has a few technical problems ("it's" instead of "its,"
for example), but it's not badly written.

The best part of the story is the implied dominance of Fox's
bodyguard over Fox. The worst part of this story is it's yet
another fantasy-based plot, and I just don't care for those
kinds of stories.

Fortunately, the language is not too stilted, so it is easier to
read than most. As a fantasy story, I liked it as much as any I've
Rating: * * *


{ASSM} [VBC] "Bianca Sends a Warning" by Desdmona
By Desdmona22 <>

The next combatant in the Chick in Chainmail Challenge is
Desdmona, who didn't realize that chainmail was supposed to have
something to do with body armor. What we have instead is a chain
letter. If you don't pass it on to as many females as you can,
you'll go frigid. But if you *do* pass it on, you'll soon be living
out your favorite sexual fantasy.

Several short vignettes follow the letter, each describing a
particular woman's fantasy. The best one is about the clown,
although it is a little creepy.

It's not really a story, but it is a good excuse to write several
short, sexually explicit scenes. One warning: there is also a
short quiz at the end of the story. Please, take careful notes,
and no cheating!
Rating: * * *


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