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ISSUE 31 celebrity this Silver Surfer episode


Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #31
March 21, 2002
Reviews are archived at


Stories reviewed in this issue:

the Tree of Life, by celia batau (* * *)
Other Lives, by Nick (* * *)
Big Wheel, by theGreatxIam (* * * *)
Spotlight My Ass, by Pariah dog (* * *)
Home Safe, by Selena Jardine (* * * * *)

{ASSM} [VBC] the Tree of Life {celia batau} (vbc1 MF fantasy)
By celia batau <>

I like the way celia batau writes. Her use of language is
unparalleled in ASSM, and everything she writes starts from a
foundation of beautifully-crafted prose.

This particular story is about Vittoria, who arrives at the tree
of life in search of an old lover. She thrusts her sword into the
trunk and waits for the magic to happen. The guardian of the
tree, Omorogoku, appears in the form of a nude man, and the two

There's magic, mystery, and surprising plot twists. If you've
read my reviews of other Virago Blue Challenge stories, you
already know that a fantasy piece isn't going to get a high
rating from me. But this story is sexy and still interesting in
its own way. As far as I am concerned, though, the main reason to
read this story is to enjoy the way the words are strung
Rating: * * *


{ASSM} [VBC] Other Lives (M/F/F Rom)
By Nick <>

Of all the Virago Blue Challenge stories, this is the one I
enjoyed the most. A man is attending a wedding with his wife. He
has a life-long habit of ogling women from afar, something his
wife understands and doesn't seem to mind. Except this time he
spots a striking brunette.

The man and the brunette eventually meet and talk, and both have
an eerie sense that they have met before. Helen has a room, and
they continue the conversation in a more private setting. Once
there, the subject of past lives comes up, and the explanation
for the sense of deja vu is revealed!

Unfortunately, this story has a lot of grammatical and spelling
errors, and the flashback to the previous lives drags on a little
too long. But I liked the way this fantasy story was given a
strong foothold in today's world, which, for this reviewer, makes
for a far more accessible story.

Now if only the sloppy grammar could be fixed up ...
Rating: * * *


{ASSM} Big Wheel (MF, celeb) Silver Surfer #4
By theGreatxIam <>

The celebrity of this Silver Surfer episode is none other than
Tina Turner. The surfer is a limo driver who picks up Ms Turner
during her farewell tour. After a night of club and bar hopping,
the inevitable fight breaks out, which is quickly controlled by
the fast-acting driver.

Unfortunately, Tina is a peace-loving type and doesn't appreciate
him stepping into the confrontation. There is a long, uncomfortable
moment back in the limo.

But hey, this is ASSM. They kiss and make up.

Of course Tina likes to kiss and make up two ways: she likes it
nice and easy, and she likes it nice and rough. My only criticism
of this story comes from the nice and rough part - it's a lot
more nice than it is rough. Oh, the silver surfer *says* it was
pretty danged wild, but when we get to the actual details, it's
simply nice and ..., well, nice and nice.

But that's just a nit-pick. As you would expect from
theGreatxIam, this is an excellent story with a fascinating
subject. And I am astounded that one author can convincingly
write so many stories from the points of view of so many
different people.
Rating: * * * *


{ASSM} Spotlight My Ass (Pariah Dog)
By Pariah dog <>

This is a story told completely in dialogue. A park ranger comes
across a naked woman in the woods, and he questions her about her
odd predicament. We find out that it is a lot easier to have sex
when one is naked, which, of course, explains her nudity.

It's a cute story, very light on plot and characterization, but
fun to read nonetheless. The all-dialogue gimmick works well, and
the author even manages to make the sex reasonably arousing.

Although it's more of a scene than a story, it's a good side-trip
from the regular ASSM fare.
Rating: * * *


{ASSM} Home Safe
By Selena Jardine <>

I have friends who tried for two years to have a baby. They went
to the doctors, they charted, they took temperatures, they ran
tests. Nothing worked. Having a baby just didn't seem to be in
the cards.

Now I wasn't privy to my friends' private conversations. I don't
know for sure if there were accusations, fights, or depression.
But after reading this story, I think I have better insight into
what my friends went through during those two years, and it's
enough to break my heart. This story shows a very difficult and
private part of a couple's life.

The story is told with an interesting style. Run-on sentences are
used to give it a thoughtful feel. Told in first person from the
husband's point of view, it's a wonderful study of hurt and

And in case you're worried about the story being too much of a
downer, fear not! Even in the midst of difficult times, people do
find hot sex and more than a little joy.

Oh, and I almost forgot: it has a perfect ending. (Coincidentally,
my friends' story ends the same way.)
Rating: * * * * *


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