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ISSUE 33 men back the shop kissing


Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #33
March 31, 2002

I'm back from spring break, and the reviews are back on. There were
quite a few stories posted in the past week that I would have ordinarily
reviewed, but there is no way I'll be able to get to them all. I'll get
through those that I can.

Reviews are archived at


Stories reviewed in this issue:

creamfields, by Bradley Stoke (* * * * *)
Shopping Trip, by chloe (* * *)
MY WIFE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, by BasicMale (* *)
A Long Snowy Road, by The Foxbat (* *)
Caught, by Oosh (* * * *)

{ASSM} {ASSTR} creamfields
By Bradley Stoke <>

This is the story of the Creamfields festival, which takes place
every summer in the UK, and one particular girl who thumps,
jumps, and pumps to the music as the Ecstasy takes over and the
people she's with become more and more sexually attractive and
they are suddenly naked and dancing and fucking while the
relentless music drives them on and on.

As lime who is a little bit past his prime, I'm more than a
little uninformed about the current music scene. But this story made it come alive for me. The beat of the music, the feeling of
the drugs, the raging dancers: I was swept away by all of it.

I've been looking out for Bradley Stoke stories for some time
now, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I found one
that caught my fancy. This is the one that did it for me. It'll
do it for you, too.
Rating: * * * * *


{ASSM} Shopping Trip (M/F/F)
By chloe <>

This trip to an upscale lingerie store uses a second-person "you"
for the starring male character, which immediately put me off.
Unlike many second-person stories, however, this one is not so
annoying that it is painful to read. For one thing, the "you"
character is not the main participant, and a lot of the action
occurs between the woman and the lingerie saleswoman as "you"
sits and watches. Long stretches of action occur without the
jarring imposition of "you," so the reader is not constantly
reminded that the story was written for someone else.

The story, then, boils down to a porn plot stroke story: girl meets lingerie saleswoman, girl gets lingerie saleswoman, girl invites boyfriend to join them for hot threesome. Except for the
infuriating second-person character, it's a well-written story,
and only a very few minor grammatical errors mar the prose.

Fix the "you" stuff and this would be a very good stroke story.
And even with the "you" stuff, it's not too bad.
Rating: * * *


By BasicMale <>

It's Christy's birthday, and her husband has lined up a little
orgy celebration with a few of their close friends.

That's it. A disproportionate amount of time is spent describing
the physical dimensions of the characters, so we know all the bra
sizes and cock lengths. The writing itself is pretty good - there
are only a few grammatical errors to distract you - but the plot
is silly, and the characters are hunks of lumber.

For pure stroke enthusiasts, this isn't bad; for the rest of you,
there are stories you'll enjoy more.
Rating: * *


{ASSM} A Long Snowy Road (slow cons Mf) by Foxbat
By The Foxbat <>

It's spring break, and the poor sot in this story is driving
through North Dakota in a huge snow storm. He spots a figure
walking along the Interstate, nearly wrecks his jeep trying to
avoid him, and offers to give the person a lift.

Eventually, the stranger peels off layers of clothing to reveal
that he is really a she. They stop for the night at a motel
where they have to share a bed. Glory be! They end up fucking!

So, why is a girl walking along the Interstate in the middle of
the night in the middle of a snow storm? Your guess is as good as
mine. The girl is poorly drawn. The story left me with more
questions than answers, and it felt as unfulfilling as a puzzle
with no solution. The grammar is decent, but the writing is often
awkward with extraneous detail and repeated words. And the final
sex scene in the snow is not convincing.

But the first sex scene is OK, and if you can deal with the
ambiguity of the situation and the female character, you may
still enjoy this story.
Rating: * *


{ASSM} Caught [Oosh]
By Oosh <>

This story begins with an exquisite description of a dress the
narrator sees in a shop window. Then the narrator catches two
women back in the shop, kissing. Catching the two women becomes
the basis for a little self-discovery.

The ending, while stunning in its way, seems separate from the
rest of the story. After all the luxurious detail of the opening
scene, the ending feels relatively un-grounded. And while the
story is about sex and sexuality, the sex is not explicit. If
you're looking for stroke material, you'll want to move on to
something else.

But those are minor nits. This very short story has something
almost everyone will enjoy. Puzzling through the extended
metaphor is a lot of fun, and the opening is as good as any story you'll read in ASSM. Unless you're a hardcore stroke fan, you
should invest a short amount of time and check this story out.
Rating: * * * *


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