| Breaking In
Journal Entry 147 / 00545
I sat down to lunch with a huge bowl of rotini salad, ice tea and a
copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I figured it was finally time for me to
finish this monster since I'd been putting it off for several centuries;
understanding had eluded me when I'd first tried to read it, way back
when I was eleven years old.
One thing that kept striking me about reading Dracula, though, was the
way the hundreds, if not thousands, of vampire tales kept depicting
immortality. Especially since, if the historical precedent for Dracula
was Vlad Teppis the Impaler, then I was now then Vlad would
have been at the writing of the book. They always seemed to depict
immortality as boring and dull, but I had yet to find it that way. I
was enjoying my perpetual youthfulness.
It was a beautiful day outside as I sat on the porch and read. The sun
was out, the sky was clear for thousands of kilometers, the air was
warmer than most people like but I seem to function well in. With the
small SDisk installation in my iced tea glass it truly was bottomless;
there were five gallons of the stuff in the refrigerator.
The sound of the living room door opening impinged upon my consciousness
long enough for me to shrug and go back to reading. My relative peace and
quiet didn't last long as I looked up to find Alexi standing in the porch
doorway, not so much fidgeting as merely vibrating in place nervously.
"Afternoon, kiddo," I said cheerfully. "What's up?"
He startled momentarily at my addressing him, as if he hadn't planned on
my actually noticing him there. I do tend to get engrossed in my books,
I'll admit, but not so much that I won't notice someone staring at me.
"Uhm... Dad?" he said, his voice quavering a little. "Can I talk... to
you... for a minute?"
I like to think I'm a good parent, that my kids can come to me and ask
me any question in the universe, and that hopefully they'll also get a
reasoned answer appropriate for their age. Alexi is sixteen, and at his
age I knew more about sex than most people on Terra ever did back then. I
didn't know everything, but a lot of what I didn't know I would later
wish I had. So I've answered every question Alexi has had truthfully
and honestly, and when I didn't know the answer David knew where the
facts could be found, if not the truth. For him to ask if he could ask
me something was so unusual it took me a second to form a response. "It
must be a serious talk." He nodded. I waved him over and gestured for
him to sit down in one of the other two empty chairs set around the tiny
porch table. "So... what do you need to talk about?"
He shook his head at me. "I want to stand, Dad." He wasn't just standing,
he was pacing back in forth in the tiny free floorspace of the porch. It
was a slow, almost rocking pace, vaguely hypnotic, and I found it
"Huh? Oh, sorry Dad."
I got just a little angry at him, which fathers are wont to do with
sixteen year children. "Alexi. You have something to say to me,
you may as well tell me." I smiled inwardly, though, realizing that I
sounded a lot like my had, all those centuries back.
He stopped for a second, grabbed the chair in his mitts and looked down
at me. His eyes closed for a second, opened, and then he said, "I talked
to about this, and she said I should ask either you or Va." I smiled
at the distinction. He used Anglic for me, Quen for Aaden. "I've never...
slept with a mel before, but I think I want to."
"Most people try entalie' sex at some time in their lives."
"I know that," Alexi sighed softly. "I... well... "
"You want advice on how to?" I asked, feeling at least a little
authoritative in that particular arena.
"No," he said, his voice cracking softly. It registered instantly what
he was going to say next. "I want you to do it." Then he stunned me with
his follow up. "Both of you."
My brain had frozen like I could feel the gears holding completely still
inside my skull. He took my silence as a prompt to keep talking. "I
talked to Ember and Mom, and you and Va both know what you're doing and
for some reason I can't imagine trying this with a total stranger and
when I thought about asking someone in the house who I knew well plenty
of people came up but I kept thinking you would be the best and I decided
to ask you but not before talking to first about asking you."
The gears started turning again. "That's got to be the WORST run-on
sentence I've ever heard come out of your mouth, Alexi."
He stared hard at me, his throat working as he swallowed his fear hard.
The stare held for a few more seconds, and then we both cracked up
laughing. Alexi has always been inordinately fond of conjunctions, and
I've been trying to get him to shorten his sentences, at least in text,
since he was six. "Come here," I said through my laughter. He smiled
and sat down in my lap with a heavy "Ooof!" "You're getting big, Alexi."
"You're always saying that, Dad," he replied. "You're not mad at me,
are you, and you will do it, right?"
I sighed, my feeling in a bit of a turmoil. "I'd like to talk to Aaden
first, if that's okay. Maybe in a few days I'll give you my answer. Can
you wait that long? How long have you been thinking about this?"
"A few weeks," he said, looking dejected. "I guess I can wait a few
"Hey, brighten up," I said, smiling and lifting his chin. "I'm not going
to lie to you, Alexi... I don't know how I feel right now. I'm asking you
to deal with the same kind of confusion you have asking me. Is that okay?"
His smile appeared on his face. "I guess it is." He put his tens around
me and hugged me tightly. "Thanks, Dad."
"For being the best I could ever have hoped for."
Later that night, while Alexi and Elizabeth slept peacefully in their
individual rooms, I gathered the rest of the in the bedroom. I
pointed to P'nyssa first and said "I think you know what this is about?"
She smiled. "Well, I sent him, didn't I?"
"No clue, Ken. What's up?"
I sighed softly. "Alexi came to me today; he wants to experiment, to
make love with a mel. And he wants you and me to do it."
"He... That's interesting." Aaden leaned back against the headboard. "What
did you tell him?"
"I told him to wait until I'd spoken with you two."
"Sounds like good advice," P'nyssa said softly. "Let me ask you, both
of you: Do you want to?"
Aaden looked thoughtful. "If he wants to... If he really wants to,
I think I want to as well."
"You do?" I asked, surprised.
"What did he say when he asked?" Aaden asked me. I relayed, as accurately
as I possibly could (and David agreed with my memory by remaining silent)
my conversation with Alexi earlier in the day. Aaden sighed, lowering
his hands from atop his head and putting them in his lap. "He's right,
you know. It's not wrong for him to want his to initiate him
into sex of any kind."
"I don't know if I could do it," I said softly.
"That's because you come from a culture where what we're discussing
is considered aberrant," P'nyssa said softly. "Beyond the 'culture of
consent' we don't have such preconceived notions." She put her mitt on my
arm softly; I sighed and leaned against her for support. "Ken... You've
slept with Rainy and Ember before. You've even slept with Richard."
I nodded. "But they were all well into their adult years when that
"Ember wasn't my own flesh and blood."
"Neither is Alexi," P'nyssa pointed out tacitly. "Your next objection
will be that you didn't raise Ember in your own home. Technically, no,
you didn't. But you were sleeping with her every other night. She
didn't live in your home, but she was right next door. From the age of
five on you spent at least some of your every day with Ember until she
was enough to be the independent person she is now."
I closed my eyes again, and P'nyssa continued. "Ken... are you holding
back because he's male?"
I sighed. The truth will out. "Yes."
"Why?" Aaden asked, a little surprised.
Angrily, I said, "Oh you know why. No matter how much we try and claim
that all sex is the same, there's a fundamental difference in the way fuck that you and I understand perfectly well and there's no way we'll
ever be able to convey that difference to someone who wasn't born male."
Aaden stared at me for a second, nodded, and turned around on the bed,
coming face to face with me. "That doesn't mean we shouldn't do it for
our own son. Somebody else will, eventually... Alexi will find someone
he wants to try it with if we don't."
I nodded. "The fact that my brain understands that doesn't mean my heart
has to agree."
He smiled and kissed my cheek gently. "I want your cock's agreement,
Ken; the rest of you will follow naturally."
I laughed softly, feeling the hours catching up with me. "It always
agrees with you... it might not agree with Alexi, though."
P'nyssa rubbed her mitts against my back. "Will you at least try?"
"Even if my heart's not in the right place?"
"Even then," P'nyssa said. "Listen, you like to compare sex to either
friendship or sports, depending on the emotion involved. It's either
profound or exercise... you just happen to like the profound kind a
"So... Alexi is your son. You play catch with him. Toss a frisbee around.
Miniature golf. And he's certainly your friend, I hope! I think you
could have something special with him. I think you should try."
"You make it sound easy."
"It should be," P'nyssa said. "Because it's what he wants."
There was silence for a few seconds. Aaden broke it with, "Well?"
I nodded. "I'll do it."
"I knew you would," Aaden said softly. "Ready for bed?"
"Very," I replied. "I didn't take a nap today."
"Silly Shardik," Aaden replied, his massive furry paw tousling my hair.
"Come on, under the covers, both of you."
"You're not sleeping here tonight?" I asked.
"I will, I will," he replied, crawling under the sheets with P'nyssa
and I. I curled up around him and P'nyssa around me and we all went to
As I was getting out of the shower Dave cleared his electronic throat.
"Alexi is upstairs with Aaden preparing breakfast."
My stomach was immediately attacked by rabid butterflies. I decided that
at best I was going to eat half a melon, and one not too acidic, either.
Honeydew or cantaloupe if we had any. I grabbed a very simple pair of
cotton pants and a grey and ascended the g-tube to the first floor.
"Good morning," Aaden said, spotting me even from the kitchen.
"Hi," I replied softly. "G'morning, Alexi."
He rose and walked over, giving me a hug. "G'morning, Dad."
We sat around the table quietly, Aaden bringing me the fruit I had
requested. "Alexi..." I said softly. "We've decided."
"And?" he asked. I was impressed with my son; he held his face very still,
not betraying hope or fear in his expression.
"We want to do it."
"You do?" he asked, his eyes lighting up like the day. "Oh, that's so
wonderful! Thank you thank you!" He literally lunged across the table at
me, hugging me tightly, holding me in his arms. He buried his face in
my neck and kissed me there, surprising me with his outright eroticism
the moment he was given the go-ahead.
"Woah, woah..." I said, pushing him away gently. "We have things to
"Like what?" he asked, sitting down in his chair.
"Like, exactly what are you looking for?" Aaden replied, taking up his
cue almost perfectly.
"I... I don't understand."
"Oh, come on, Alexi," I said softly. "You said you wanted to make love
to a mel. What kind of lovemaking? Do you want to have intercourse? From
which end? How about oral sex? What do you want?"
"Oh," Alexi said softly. "Didn't think about that part yet."
Aaden laid his hand on his son's arms softly. "What did you think about?"
"I just..." Alexi looked lost for a second. "I just thought about,
well, getting into bed and doing 'stuff.' I didn't know what 'stuff'
I wanted, though."
"What turns you on when you think about it?" Aaden asked.
"Oral sex. Kissing. Especially a human skin. I can't seem to get over that
idea, of kissing a human. I tried it with Milsi, and I really liked it."
"What else?" Aaden prompted.
"Uhm, I don't know. I guess I want to try fucking."
"From which end?"
"Well, doing it from the top's just like doing it with a girl, I guess."
I smiled gently. "No it's not."
"You know what I mean, Dad," Alexi replied softly. "I know, you're going
to talk about the spiritual stuff, and I've heard it all before."
I chuckled. "Do I really get that carried away?" I asked.
"Only when you're talking to erolie's," Aaden replied. "Most melentalie'
know what you're talking about."
I shook my head. "Okay, I stand corrected."
"Oh, really?" Aaden replied, picking up on an joke.
"Hush," I told him. "Alexi, do you want to be fucked, then?"
He paused for a moment, then said, "If I say 'no' here and 'yes' in there,
would you do it?"
I stopped for a second, then said, "No. It's not part of the agreement."
"But if I say 'yes' here and 'no' in there, you would stop."
"Yes," I said.
"Then I'll say 'yes' here, and I'll see what happens when it comes
I smiled at Aaden. "We've got ourselves a smart kid."
"We always have," Aaden replied. "In both of them."
As night came across Pendor, I stood out on the porch overlooking the
Vinyare' ocean, across the sunlit sectors and up the ring towards the
most sparsely, if at all, populated section of the entire ring. I wondered
idly if tonight was going to change my entire view of the universe.
There are people who think that there's no starry sky on Pendor, that the
shadow squares block out everything like a ceiling. Well, we've got plenty
of starry nights, when the clouds aren't in the way, and from where I'm
standing I'm sure one of those incredibly dim points out there is Terra.
Am I as far away from the culture that created me as I should be? Am I
too far away? What was that word Robert was so fond of using to describe
himself? The latin translated into something like 'burned blood' and
I think that was a pretty good description. Terran Twentieth Century
Western Culture, American, has burned itself into my blood permanently.
I don't work well in threesomes; that's a fact I've proven to myself over
and again. That's not a cultural hangup, that's just me. There are so
many things about my burned blood that I've overcome... my love of males,
my affection for things not human, my interest in pain, my exploration
of limits other people dare not touch. Somehow, through all this, there
are things even I feel I shouldn't think about. Like touching my children.
I heard footsteps behind me but didn't turn around. The scent that wafted
over me was distinctly Aaden's as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders
and pressed his hips against mine. "Hi," he growled softly.
"Hi yourself, sexy skunk."
"Are you ready?"
I sighed. "No, but that's not gonna stop me."
Silence fell between us. Then, "You say that before heavy scenes, too,
you know. We're supposed to be kind and loving tonight."
I turned in his arms to face him. "And we will be." I stopped for a
second. "Between us, heavy scenes are kind and loving, Aaden. But it's
still going to push my limits, and you know it, and I know it."
He nodded softly, his face open to a kiss, so I gave him one. He stayed
with the kiss, our tongues meeting softly. There's nothing like feeling
his muzzle part and our tongues meetings... it's simply indescribable. We
separated and he said, "Come on... our son is taking a shower."
A small shiver ran down my spine. "You had to word it that way, didn't
He smiled. "No, I didn't. I could have called him 'Alexi' and made it
seem more impersonal. But you're not like that, Ken."
I smiled. "Let's go." We walked together into the living room and dropped
down the g-tube the bedroom. The shower was indeed running, though as I
sat down in the middle of the bed I heard the water stop running and the
intense blow-dryers installed into the right wall of the shower stall open
up with a dull, muted roar. The door to the bathroom was only half-closed.
After a few minutes even the roar went away, and the house was filled
with the sounds of silence. Then I heard the shower door open, the sound
of cloth on cloth (or was that fur?), and Alexi stepped out into the
bedroom wearing my terrycloth robe.
Aaden shifted slightly behind me and to my left. "Alexi," he growled
softly, "come here."
Alexi, much to his credit, didn't even startle as he knelt on the edge
of the bed and crawled over to Aaden. Aaden seemed to examine Alexi
for a moment, then reached out and pulled Alexi into his lap, face up,
leaning against his chest. I smiled to Aaden. My cue.
I followed to crawl myself, until I was leaning over Alexi, looking down
at him. I supported my weight on my right hand, reaching down with my
right and touching the cloth of the robe, feeling it's rough texture
under my fingertips, sliding my hand where the robe closed, under the
cloth and along the fur of Alexi's chest.
I looked into my son's solid grey-green eyes. He stared back at me,
smiling just a little, but also surprised. I've got to admit that I
was surprised at just how excited I was getting by the prospect of what
I was about to do. "Alexi," I whispered as the lights dimmed further,
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
His gaze didn't falter, but I saw his throat flex a little with a hard
swallow. He nodded. "Yah..." he whispered in return. "This is what
I leaned down further, enjoying the upper-body strength I had now that
Aaden had me exercising regularly, until my mouth was a centimeter
away from his, then close the gap, softly. He tensed underneath me,
then eased back into Aaden's grip, his mouth opening under mine, our
lips pressing together.
Alexi suddenly showed his intense hunger; with barely a pause he began
kissing my chin, my throat. He worked his way down my chest; it was
all I could do to hold myself up and let him, watching him attack me
with an passion that I've rarely seen in the usually reserved
Tindals. Then again, he was my kid, and anybody growing up around here
learns about passion pretty early.
I felt his lips slide across my skin, his warm breath spreading across
in me like a mystical infusion. A strange image came into my mind,
one of watching a mechanical difference engine in operation recently,
and of watching the entire body of tumblers roll over at once. Because
I felt something like that happen inside me as he kissed me, as if all
possibility that I might question this was banished forever. I pushed
his head away gently, my eyes searching his face, a face now alight with
wonder. He smiled suddenly and shifted.
I laughed. "Something poking you in the back, Alexi?"
"Something like that," he said softly, squirming in Aaden's arms. He
turned over to face Aaden. Aaden wasn't as gentle or as ambivalent as I
was; he grabbed Alexi by the shoulders and pulled him close, kissing him
hard. I felt my own erection growing under my clothes, watching them kiss.
Aaden must have spotted me adjusting myself because he turned to look
at me and said, "Take them off. You're not going to need them anyway."
"Only if he takes off the bathrobe." Alexi agreed, struggling out of
his one article of clothing, so I pulled at the knot holding my pants
closed, freeing it and removing my clothes as well. As I pulled them
off, I suddenly realized where my last little tug of ambivalence was
coming from. Not from Alexi, but from Aaden. "Aaden, lover, this is
going to sound strange, but I don't think I can do this, this way."
"Oh, no you don't," he chuckled. "You're not backing out of this one."
"That's not it," I said resolvedly. "You know I don't work well with
more than two people. I want him myself."
"Wait a minute," Alexi said with all the objection a sixteen-year-old can
muster. "This is my deflowering, I think I get to say what happens!" I
watched Aaden's jaw drop as much as I felt my own. "I want both you to
be here. That's what I asked for. Dad, Va... please?"
I recovered enough to laugh. Now naked, I leaned over Alexi and kissed
his throat softly, then his jawline, then his lips, kissing him hotly,
feeling his tongue on mine; he has a very soft, almost slick tongue,
and as we wrestled I felt my erection returning to full force. I looked
down at Alexi again and said "You'll get what you ask for."
He nodded as my hand slid down his body, finding his cock between his
thighs. It wasn't particularly large; a little smaller than average,
really, but one thing I'd learned over the years is that, no matter how
much I love Aaden's huge shaft, I really can appreciate any size.
I stroked him slowly, watching his eyes flutter and hearing a hissing
intake of breath as my fingernails scraped gently over the head. I
slid down to between his legs quickly, taking the silky head of his
cock in my lips in one smooth move. His hips bucked suddenly, shoving
it deeper into my mouth, but I managed, slowly suckling him back and
forth. His cock was fully hard, but like his tongue the skin was soft,
flawless as my lips rode up and down on it easily. I reached underneath
his buttocks with my right hand, where he was held up sitting in Aaden's
lap, and tickled his anus. I didn't even press hard. He shuddered again,
moaning loudly. I heard Aaden chuckle softly in sympathy.
Glancing up in the direction of the chuckle, I saw Aaden's fingers playing
with Alexi's nipples softly, teasing them. Aaden was also nuzzling the
back of Alexi's neck, his muzzle open and his teeth gleaming in the
I've been reading too much Bram Stoker recently. I shook my head and
went back to suckling on Alexi's cock, tasting the little droplets of
excitement that oozed from the tip when I hard, toying with his
I was easily managing all of Alexi's cock down my throat and enjoying
the sensation. Overcoming my gag reflex had been one of those things
Aaden and I had worked on rather extensively, especially since he has a
penis that will gag just about anything, humanoid or not. I felt a paw
on my head, Aaden's paw, and looked up.
Alexi's eyes were closed, and he had his left mitten in the air, clasped
in Aaden's left hand. His right hand lay in his lap. I looked up at
along Aaden's arm and into his eyes. "Stop," he mouthed wordlessly. "I
think it's time you fucked him."
I cheated; flipping switches in my head, I contacted an AIcell nearby and
called Aaden. Almost like telepathy. I want him to taste cock, first...
We can do both, Aaden replied. "Alexi," he spoke softly.
"Turn around." I detached myself from Alexi's cock and, as I pulled away,
got a good look at it. There are utilitarian cocks, there are monster
cocks, there are common cocks. Alexi's cock is a work of art; there's no
way to describe it, really, other than to say that it has a profound...
beauty that just sort of draws the eye. Aaden falls under the "monster"
category, by the way. Alexi followed instructions as Aaden gave them,
turning around and lying in Aaden's lap. "Now, suck me."
Alexi nodded and pushed himself further down Aaden's body, coming to
rest with his head above Aaden's crotch. "Fah," Alexi swore softly. "I
don't even know what I can do with this."
Aaden laughed softly. "Do the best you can."
Alexi nodded and leaned his head down, licking slowly along the length of
Aaden's semi-hard shaft, making it glisten wetly. I watched, fascinated,
as Alex worked his way up to the head, slowly tasting every square inch
of Aaden's cock he could manage, reaching the tip and sliding around
I smiled and knelt beside Alexi, easing my right leg over him and
straddling his buttocks, looking down at his back, watching his head bob
up and down slowly. I ran my fingers through the dense blue fur that ran
along his back, feeling his muscles act and react to the demands of his
body, feeling him shudder uncontrollably as Aaden's cock activated his
gag reflex, enjoying the sensation of just riding Alexi, really. Riding
I grabbed a bottle of lubricant and applied some to my fingers, pressing
them between Alexi's warm asscheeks, probing for his asshole. He reacted
to my finger by pressing up against me, opening himself up so I could
reach him better. I smiled as I matted down his fur with the warmed fluid,
sliding my fingers over his tight anus, feeling the puckered texture of
the with the tip of one finger. I slid it into him.
He took it easily, settling down onto the bed between Aaden's legs as
my finger slid deeper into the hot depths of his body. Happy with his
response, and I slid my finger out and leaned over to kiss Aaden gently,
then looked down. "Alexi?"
"Hmmm?" he said, his mouth quite full.
"Are you going to tell me 'no'?"
I realized after I said it that there had to be a dozen different
ways his reply could be misinterpreted. Aaden's right-- we have smart
kids. Alexi's raised his head to turn and look at me. A tear from the
effort of suppressing his gag reflex was streaming down his fur and
across his nose. He looked up at me and said "I won't tell you 'no.'"
I gave him a wide and open-mouthed smile, then leaned down to kiss him;
he strained upwards to kiss me instead, pressing his lips and his tongue
to my own. The heat between us grew as we kissed, then separated. "Thank
"Thank you, father," he replied, smiling back at me. He lay his head down
in Aaden's lap, not on Aaden's cock anymore but anticipating my
I slowly slicked the lubricant over my cock and aimed it downwards,
pressing it against his asshole gently. "A little lower," he whispered. I
nodded and repositioned my shaft, pressing down against the top of it
until it seemed to find the actual opening of his anus.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Yes, father." I smiled and pressed down with a little more force. He
slowly opened up and I felt him let me in, feeling his asshole spasm at
the intrusion. He gasped hard, his muscles tightening. "It's too much...
take it out, take it out, please."
I stopped and pulled out, letting him ease back against the bed. He took
a deep breath and said "Give me a second."
"Take all the time you need," I said softly, my left hand caressing his
back, my right hand stroking my cock. I was always afraid of hurting
someone, and right now that fear threatened my erection.
"Okay," he nodded softly, "try again."
I knelt above him and again took careful aim, and this time I slid into
him easily. This time he took me without complaint; he lay on the bed
softly and sighed, rubbing his cheek against Aaden's massive cock and
smiling. "Like that?" I asked.
"I feel so full," he said softly. "It feels... strange."
"Does it hurt?" Aaden asked him softly.
"A little. It's kinda burning at the hole, but that's going away. It's
deep inside, though... Dad, how do you take Va's cock like this? It so
huge!" He leaned over forward kissed Aaden's shaft.
"It takes practice," I said, starting to stroke within him. My gods,
he was tight. "You get used to it."
"Uh-huh," he said softly as I started to fuck him, slowly at first. He
buried his head in Aaden's lap, completely blocking the light from his
eyes. Aaden grabbed his own cock and started stroking it slowly, making
it grow to full length. I looked down at Alexi's vulnerable body, looking
down further and watching my cock slide between his furred asscheeks and
deeper into him. He looked so beautiful like this, so soft and wonderful,
trembling under me as I fucked him.
As my orgasm grew closer I started to fuck him harder; his furred body
beneath responded equally, pushing back against my invading cock. For
someone who'd never been done this before, my own son was one incredible
fuck. "Please," he whimpered, reaching back behind himself with one
trembling ten to touch me, "slower... please."
"Okay..." I breathed, slowing down for him, slowly stroking his asshole
with my cock, feeling his body clench and spasm underneath. "Alexi,"
I whispered, "I'm going to come..."
"Yes, Dad, please... come inside me. Please please please..." I nodded
as he gave his final permission to me, feeling the last impediment
to orgasm crumble away and the sudden rush of pleasure overtake me. I
shoved downwards one last time and came inside him, groaning loudly;
I heard Alexi scream with me. I caught myself with my arms and managed
to keep from dropping my full weight on top of him.
There was still motion on the bed; Aaden was still masturbating, but
with an almost immediate shout he came as well, collapsing against
After a few seconds of this, the three of us catching our breaths,
I pushed myself awkwardly to my left, falling back onto the bed with
a groan, my cock slipping out of Alexi. I lay on my back with my eyes
I opened my eyes slowly and turned. Alexi raised his head from where he
lay in Aaden's lap and looked at me, smiling. "Yeah, Alexi?"
"I love you, Dad. Thank you."
I blinked, smiled. "Oh, Alexi... you're so welcome. You're so, so
welcome." I found the strength to move, leaning over Aaden's thigh to
kiss him gently. Then I collapsed on the bed again.
Aaden laughed gently, and I heard the soft and familiar flutter of cloth;
Aaden had picked up a towel to wipe himself off with. "So, Alexi,"
he said, "What do you think?"
Alexi picked up himself up and crawled forward, laying his head against
Aaden's shoulder and wrapping his tens around his chest. "Well, Va,
I understand why you two like it."
I laughed softly and cuddled up close to Aaden on the other side. "Which
"All of it!" he said, laughing. "Well, okay, being fucked... will
probably take some getting used to. cock... Oh, I like that. I
can do that."
I laughed softly and reached out to play with Alexi's hair. "I hear a
'but' in your voice, Alexi."
"Yah," he said. "Although I can do this, and physically I think it's
really wonderful... you know how we were talking yesterday about the,
well, spiritual differences?"
"Yeah," I said softly. "You feel the difference, and you think you're
more comfortable with male/female difference instead?"
He nodded gently. "I'm sorry."
"Hey. Hey, hey, hey, that's nothing to be sorry for! Alexi, look at me."
He opened his eyes. "What you like and what you don't like is nothing
to be sorry for, believe me."
He nodded. "I know... but you two..."
"Alexi," Aaden said. "I've never felt the male/female thing, because
I've never really had sex with a woman. I know I'm happy the way I am."
Alexi nodded. "I know."
I crawled closer to Alexi and kissed him softly. "Alexi, you're my son,
and I love you. I'm not upset with what you did tonight, or what you
said." He smiled. "Do you want to sleep with us tonight?"
He swallowed and nodded, smiling. "I love you, both of you, so much. Now
I know what you two mean about your love; now I know what it's like to
have sex the way you two do."
"But it's not for you," Aaden said softly.
He shook his head. "But I'm glad you're not angry."
"I could never be angry at you for that." Aaden eased Alexi out of his
lap and onto the bed. "You came to us and wanted to learn something,
and we were willing to give it to you."
I cuddled Alexi close, feeling my body against his. "Do you want to
"He did," Aaden replied. "You were a too little busy to notice, Ken,
but there's definitely a puddle here."
"You came when I was fucking you?"
"Uh-huh," Alexi replied. "I did say it felt good."
"Wow, son. I'm jealous. It took me decades to learn how to come from being
fucked. Maybe you can find a fem who'll give that to you once in a while."
Alexi's eyes misted over for a second. "That would be the best of all
Aaden laughed, wiping at the bedsheets and tossing the towel aside. "I'm
"You are?" I asked.
"Of course," Aaden replied. "Wouldn't you be?"
"I'm tired too," Alexi said softly.
"I would expect that," I replied. "You just got put through a lot."
"Yah," Alexi said softly. "You don't have to stay, Dad. If you can't
"I'll stay with him," Aaden said gently. "I want to."
I nodded and slowly separated from the two of them, climbing out of bed
and standing up. I pulled the covers over the both of them, kissed them on
their cheeks, grabbed my bathrobe that Alexi had tossed aside and put it
on, ascending to the living room. The lights dimmed completely behind me.
I sat down on the couch and picked up Dracula again, finding my page
marker and resuming reading. With a casual thought the entire northern
wall became transparent. I looked up at the stars, wondering again which
one was Terra but not wondering so much as to ask Dave to superimpose
an indicator over my vision.
I smiled up at the stars. "You don't own me," I whispered, "And you
never did." Then I returned to the book. "And you, you mythical thing--"
I stopped and laughed quietly. "Burned blood indeed."
After about three hours, I put the book aside and headed down to bed.
Aaden and Alexi, and son, still entwined with one another, cuddled
close. I smiled and joined them, falling asleep almost immediately.
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales
are Copyright (c) 1989-2000 Elf Mathieu Sternberg. Distribution limited
to electronic media not-for-profit use only. All other rights are reserved
to the author.