| Oakleaves Chapter 6
‘I was dead. Perfectly dead.’ "Umm," I babbled.
"Don’t they look so cute?" I heard Brook say. My head cocked up to see
if she was really serious. She had her hands up to her face and a huge
smile plastered on. The appearance was actually quite hysterical and I
broke out laughing.
"Yea, friggin cute," I knew that voice to be Alex’s. He came up behind
her also with a smile on his face.
I knew at that moment that things would be ok. However, I didn’t want
her catching us as they had and hastily got up, pulling Noah to his
feet. "Do you mind?"
"Don’t take too long, we could get ideas," I heard Alex yell to us as
they turned and walked off.
"Well, umm." I muttered as I zipped up the tent.
"Speechless." Noah said.
"Yea, speechless." And just as we said, we were silent. What was there
to say. We were caught handed in each others arms. There wasn’t much
more to explain there. We were caught handed at being gay.
"Do you think they suspect?" I asked. It was a rhetorical question, but
always worth asking. He just eyed me. "I take it as a yes."
"Suspect? You actually use that word. I think, no, I know this is much
more than suspect, this is full outright know."
"Really," I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice. I unzipped the tent
and exited in a tee-shirt and army green cargo shorts. Noah was still
in a state of undress, which was solved at a record pace. He came out
shortly after in blue. God did he look hot.
I saw Alex and Brook sitting at the stone shore. Obvious for a talk.
Apparently her were still asleep. I strolled over, at a slow pace.
I knew that things would be ok, but there was always that lingering thought
that it wouldn’t be. That thought was ever present. What if I were outed,
in front of her parents, what if they banned me from seeing my friends.
They would tell Noah’s and I wouldn’t be able to see him. Worse,
they would tell the whole neighborhood, and next year the whole school. My
life was ruined. I was dead. My life, as I knew it, was over. I’d have
to move, probably get tossed out of my house, cus my dad and wouldn’t
want me anymore. I was just the little faggot which nobody loved. I would
have to move to a big city and become somebody’s play thing, I would become
a male slut. Living in a box and selling myself for food. I was a goner.
"Hello…Garrett? You there?"
I shook my head, "What?"
"You were a million miles away," Noah said. He was standing right next
to me. Alex and Brook still by the shore looking out. "Are you ok?"
"Yea, just a though."
"Anything you want to tell me about?"
"Not now. We have to explain a few things." At that instant that
thought returned. "I’ll tell you later."
I walked over to them and sat next to Alex. For an instant I thought I
saw him tense up, but to my surprise he didn’t get up and move.
Furthermore he relaxed even. Noah sat next to me and took my arm in his.
To tell you the truth, I tensed for a second but then relaxed and squeezed
his arm with mine as a show that I was ok with this.
"So…anything you want to tell me about?" Alex just stared out.
"What do you think?"
"I think that I have befriended two of the most friendly, grateful,
kind, and generous, and oh yea people that I have ever met. And I feel
honored to have you as friends."
I physically and emotionally relaxed. "Thanks," I merely whispered.
"That goes for me too. I love you guys," Brook chimed in.
"Thanks to both of you…for understanding and…accepting."
"Dude, no problem," Alex stated. I could tell that he was much more at
ease after he said what he had to say. "What do you think of
"Good," the three of us responded in turn.
"Great then. Garrett help me, you two pick blueberries," Alex ordered.
Which was surprising to me.
Noah and Brook marched off toward the east to the blueberries. Alex
reached into the pack to retrieve the oatmeal. I started the camp stove.
"So you really are ok with this?" I made conversation.
"Yea, more for me."
"I know, I was just kidding." I cocked and eyebrow. "Alright," he
continued, "I felt a bit uncomfortable at first. I didn’t know if you were
undressing me already."
"Alex, I let you know that I never thought of you like that."
"What is it, am I not cute enough?" I didn’t know he was kidding until I
saw his face.
"Naw, you’re an ugly shit."
"Well then, what does Brook see in me then?"
"A desperate soul."
I cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Shut up and start that stove."
"So Noah? When did you know you were gay?"
"I don’t even know," I responded to Brook’s question. "I don’t even
know that I am."
"I know that I am attracted to Garrett, but I don’t remember being
attracted to another guy. What does that mean?"
"Well, I do think that there are a lot of gays out there, but I know
that there is a lot of grey area, which people miss, and never consider."
I stopped in my tracks and considered what she said…and how right it
was. She realized that I wasn’t following her, stopped, and turned. I met
her eyes. I lunged forward and gave her a hug. "Hey, if I’m gay, I can do
this. Just to fulfill the stereotype."
"No, your just saying thank you."
"Come on, we have to get some blueberries."
I jogged ahead, suddenly full of energy. My mind was clear. "Yea let’s
go, come on!!"
That day Brook’s woke to a fully cooked breakfast, which was
saved with my adequate skill. Instead of oatmeal we decided on pancakes.
Nobody knew how to make them. I did. Anyway, they turned out great and
they were appreciated by the ‘rents. The rest of the day was spent
recovering from the last two. Paddling thirty miles into the backcountry
really does take a lot out of you. We had the basic meals, sandwiches, and
beans for dinner. I lay in the sun for a while and in the hammock too. I
read and did a little journal writing. Alex stayed in the shade of a tree,
having suffered sunburn. I actually took a dip in the small wading pool
that was created naturally. This island had everything.
Noah and I had a small chat to be more discrete with our actions. I
agreed that we should, so did Alex and Brook. That night we slept together
but we woke early to watch the sunrise on our stone beach. We waved to a
passing group of canoes.
"Any good fishing spots?" they asked us.
"Wouldn’t know, just got here!!" I yelled back.
After that small yelling communication, I sat down and enjoyed the sky.
I leaned over to him, rested my head on his shoulder, and said, "Isn’t it
just beautiful out tonight?"
"Yea," he said almost in a daze.
In spite of myself I chuckled. "You Ok?"
He snapped out of whatever he was in and turned toward me. "Fine, why?"
"No reason, you just seem kinda…spaced"
"Just look out there…what do you see," he started. I wanted to see
where this was going to go. "I see," he continued, "a peaceful, untouched
land. Where no imperfections can be found. There isn’t litter, homeless
people, and drugs. There isn’t any hate, no violence, and no bigotry.
There is just the calmness of the lakes and the calling of an eagle in the
distance. I like it here."
"I know you mean."
"Shh, just listen now." We did just that, we listened. I heard the
calling of an eagle, the wind in the trees, and the crickets. "See, you
don’t hear gunshots of sirens in all hours of the night. Total and
complete calmness, tranquility. You have to know. Because you and I are
different. Those gunshots and sirens will be directed at us."
"Don’t!" I said more harshly than I intended. However, I became
adamant. I got up and pulled him to his feet as well. He looked dazed
again as he stood and looked out over the lake. I stepped up behind him. I
entangled my arms with his and rested my head on his shoulder. "Don’t," I
said in a whisper.
His head fell against mine and we stood there like that. "I cannot help
it," he said after a time, "I worry, it is what I do best."
My left hand came up around his chest and I pulled him close. "We will
always have each other," I paused, "And Brook and Alex, and I am positive
that her won’t have a problem."
"I know," he said, I still detected some uncertainty in his voice.
"I won’t let a world which works on hate rule my life. I rule it, and I
choose to spend it with you and no other. You, Noah, are my life. They,
out there, don’t matter. They are just people. You, you are my love."
He turned around in my arms. We touched foreheads and faced each other
silently. "That has to be the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to
me. I am glad that it came from you, cus you are my life and my soul. My
spirit and strength. And I choose to spend my life with you and no other."
"Did we just make vows?" I giggled.
"Yea," he started to laugh.
"And we spent one day together…"
"Ahh, a day and a half."
"A day and a half. Sorry. Still are you listening to us? All we need
"Come, let us get some rest," he said. He stood there and let me go
first. Which I did. He soon followed and we crawled into the tent, the
crawled into each others arms. I fell asleep almost instantly.
As soon as Garrett was asleep I detangled myself from him. If it was
rings that he wanted, it was rings that he was going to get. Why did I get
into the tent last. Well, on the way I grabbed a few blades of long grass.
I sat up and pulled out our small lantern. Turned it on low and started to
weave. It really didn’t take that long, I had experience in this. But
what to hold it together with. I reached my hand out of the tent and dug
for some clay. It was there. A bit deep, but it was within reach. I
pulled out a nice piece and dusted off my hand. Through tedious effort I
wet it down with spit and glued the ring ends together. Two hours, I
guess, since I started I had two perfect rings. A perfect surprise for