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OddManOut.A Very Rejected Christmas


Disclaimer: If you believe in Santa Claus, don't read this story. Get help.

by OddManOut


Dear Penthouse Forum,
I am an avid reader of your magazine, but I never in my wildest dreams thought
that the stories you print could ever happen to me. That is, never until last
Christmas eve!First, let me describe myself. I am a twenty-one year old
college student at a large midwestern university. Even though I was a
cheerleader in high school, and won several beauty pageants, I never managed
to get any dates, because guys always seemed too nervous to come up to me.
Incredibly, this situation left me a virgin at 21 in spite of my blonde, 5'8",
36C-22-36 frame.

When school let out for the holidays, I decided that, rather than go home to
celebrate with my parents, I would instead take a Christmas trip to Fort
Lauderdale with my roommate, Pam. Pam is 20 years old, and has never had any
trouble getting men for sex. I can't blame her, either, since she has a
perfect, tight body with long straight black hair. It was Pam who convinced
me that Fort Lauderdale would be excellent, as we would be able to catch all
the hot guys partying over Christmas break. "Who knows, Lisa?" She said with
a knowing smile as she stuffed a week's supply of crotchless panties into her
bag. "Maybe even you will get lucky!"

Unfortunately, we hadn't realized that winter in Florida means the rainy
season, and if there were any hot guys to be found, it wasn't out on the beach
or by the pool. "Oh, Pam!" I wailed, "I'll never even find a guy to break my
body's tamper-proof seal now!"

"Cheer up," she replied, "at least it's Christmas. Look! I got you a gift!"
Pam tossed a cucumber-shaped present on my bed.

"Thanks, Pam," I replied lustily, "but I would have preferred three kings,
bringing frankencense, myrrh, and three big juicy cocks to deflower my
orgasmic orchid."

Pam was just about to reply, when we heard a faint jingling sound coming from
outside our room. Running to investigate, we both stopped and gaped. On the
roof of our hotel, an old fat man was trying to squeeze into the rooftop vent!
"Stop!" Pam cried, her braless breasts bouncing as she called to the man.

As soon as he heard us yelling, he turned around in surprise and looked at us.
As he stared at our rapt, nubile bodies, I became lost in the jolly twinkle of
his eyes, and I could feel my nipples becoming as hard as two fesceninne
fruitcakes of lust. Normally, I'm not attracted to older guys, but this man
had a spring in his step, a twinkle in his eye, and an air of virility that
belied his enormous paunch. He reminded me of Sean Connery, but with a bigger

Pam must have been thinking the same thing I was, because she immediately took
the initiative and asked him, "Well, are you just going to sit there and
squeeze yourself into the air conditioning vent, or are you going to come over
here and go down a pair of much more willing chimneys?"

Quick as a wink, the old man pulled himself out of the pipe and whisked
himself to our sides. "Ho ho ho!" He cried, "I hope you two have been good
little girls, because I'm about to stuff both your slippery stockings to

Hearing the old man's sexy words, I knew this would be a Christmas like never
before, for I would finally get the one present I had always dreamed of: A
juicy sex-box packed to its capacity with hot, pulsing yule log!

We piled into our room and tore off each other's clothing, until the only
thing left that any of us was wearing was the man's red pom-pom ski hat, which
Pam said she liked. When we were all naked, Pam turned to me and said "Now
watch, Lisa, because I'm going to show you how to give the perfect blow job."
She then turned on her heels and sank to her knees, gobbling the man's North
Pole all the way down to the equator. I watched in awe as she licked and
sucked until his soft sapling became a tall Tannenbaum. Just as he was about
to give Pam a white Chrismas, she took her mouth away and said "Not yet, stud,
you need to save your seed for my friend here. You see, she's a virgin, and
you're going to be the surgeon!"

I was mortified when I heard Pam say this, but when the man laughed with a
jolly "Ho ho ho!", I knew that I would willingly surrender my snowdrift to the
long schlong of the seductive stranger. Spreading my legs, I gave him my
sexiest smile, and in a husky voice, I cooed, "Well, what are you waiting for?
Come on over and stuff that red-nosed reindeer of yours up my wet winter

He didn't need any more encouragement than that. Before I could say "Rum-pa-
bum, bum", he was between my legs, stretching my drum. He was pressing hard,
and it felt uncomfortable, but I just lay there and took it while Pam egged
him on."

Go on, push it into her! Show her why it's the merriest time of the year!!!"
Pam cried as she nipped at his nipples like Jack Frost. On hearing this, he
laughed another jolly laugh, which set his belly shaking like a whole bowl
full of grape-flavored KY. The rippling effect looked sexy on him, and within
no time at all, my body relaxed enough for his piston to penetrate my tight,
tinsel-clad tunnel. Once he was in, he began to move in earnest, running his
turgid toboggin back and forth quickly as I locked my legs around his hips.
Pam, not wanting to be left out of the action, reached down behind him and
began to roast his chestnuts above my open fire. This turned the old man on
even further, and as his sugarplums danced in Pam's hands, he grabbed my two
turtledoves and began to pound his partridge into my burning bush.

Soon, it all became too much for me to take. Tensing my back and grabbing my
prurient partner's lushly large love handles, I closed my eyes and screamed my
first Noel as he continued to feed my eager beaver more of his love-lumber.
"You're such a good little elf," he said between thrusts as my star fell back
to earth. I guessed the old man was into Dungeons and Dragons, which didn't
really turn me on, but who am I to argue with the guy who gives me my first

Now, Lisa, take him in your mouth!" Pam shouted, eager to have me consummate
my corruption with the codgy caroler. Always eager to follow instructions, I
disengaged my well-fucked wassail from his still-rigid red Rider and slurped
it into my mouth. I could taste my own figgy pudding as I took him in, but
that only made me feel sexier. I tried to do everything I had seen Pam do
earlier, sucking on the old guy's candy cane like it was a lollipop, then
relaxing my throat and taking it in until my chin brushed against his twin
sacks of Xmas ecstasy. Before long, he became more and more excited as I
brought him closer to the reason for the season."

Ho, ho, ho, HO, HO, HOHOHOHOHO! Look out, little girl, because this year,
CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY FOR YOU!!!" With that exclaimation, the old guy grabbed
my hair and filled my mouth with rich, warm sperm nog. Trying to remain in
the spirit, I dutifully swallowed all I could, but a little bit dribbled out
the side of my mouth and made a sleigh trail down my chin.

As we all relaxed and recovered with a glass of milk and cookies, we tried to
get the old man to go again with us, but he begged off, saying that he was
flying around the world that night. "But it's not fair!" I said with a pout,
"I was just getting started with you, and now you have to go!!!"

"Oh ho ho, you don't have to stop with me gone," he replied, his belly
shaking obscenely, "Why don't you open the present your nice friend got you?"
I had forgotten Pam's present, but now that he mentioned it, I realized with a
shock that I never got a chance to see what it was. I greedily tore off the
wrapper to find that Pam had gotten me the present I had secretly dreamed
about for the past six months: A double-headed dildo for us to simultaneously
slip into our saucy slots! "Oh Pam, how could you know!" I moaned as we
prepared to burn the candle at both ends, "This is the best Christmas ever!
Thank you!"

"And thank you too!" Pam said to the old man, but to our surprise, we found
that he was gone. And I thought that guys liked to watch lez stuff, too. We
ran to the door and opened it, but he was already out of sight. All we could
hear was his jolly voice, calling into the warm Florida night:

"Ho ho ho!!! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a long night of non-stop
pumping of your purple-helmeted toy soldiers into your hot, honey-dripping
gingerbread houses and tight red poinsetta buds!! On Dancer, on Prancer, on
Stripper and Vixen! On Fairy, on Cherry, on Hefner and Nixon! Fly away, fly
away, into the night, we'll fuck the whole world before Christmas day

-Name and address withheld


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