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OddManOut.Three Variations on a Theme


DISCLAIMER: The following three stories contain the words acerbic,
adept, ameliorate, apocryphal, assuage, blithe, constrict, credulous,
dilatory, egregious, fatuous, guile, hedonism, impervious, incipient,
irascible, lethargy, mundane, prolific, and redundant. If these words
offend you, or if you are not old enough to read these words in your
community, then don t read any further.

Three Variations on a Theme


Sandy hunched over the computer, trying to think of what she wanted to
say. "The new Corlex series from Crayford: Now with more flexibility
and a faster speed!" That was what the company gave her, and she was
supposed to figure out a way to get a cliched old copy into something
that sounded new and relevant. So far, she d been through "Corlex! Get
more speed and flexibility for your money!", "Crayford gives you the
Corlex edge!", and "For the tough jobs, get Corlex!" They were all
either old or apocryphal. She felt like all the good advertising lines
had already been taken, and the only option left was to be redundant.

"Working hard?" Sandy turned to see Pat s blithe eyes peering over the
walls of her cube.

"Pat! Maybe you can help me with this." Pat was one of the major
players at Sandy s company. She was adept at coming up with new copy,
and was one of the most prolific people in the business. It was Pat s
guile that had just sold the Miller account, and she had been rewarded
with another project that didn t take much time.

She came around and joined Sandy, grabbing the spare chair and pulling
it up beside her. Today, Pat was wearing a navy business dress with a
white blouse. The dress had a short hemline, and Sandy could see all
the way up to her stocking-covered thighs as Pat scooted the chair close
to her. Pat s shoulder-length black hair had been pulled back into a
bun today, providing finishing touches to the businesswoman s look. She
leaned forward next to Sandy, touching her arm softly with her hand.
"So what s wrong?"

"I just can t think of any good copy" Sandy said acerbically. "I don t
think any original good copy exists anymore." Pat cocked an eyebrow as
she looked into Sandy s eyes. "Do you always try to think up something
new when you do a project?" "Of course!" Sandy cried. "How else am I
supposed to do it? How can *you* think up new things, just like that?"
Pat put her arm around Sandy s shoulder and tried to assuage her.
"Well, the secret is, Sandy, that you don t do it like that."

"You don t?" Sandy had always assumed that Pat could came up with
perfect copy at whim. Now that she thought of it, it seemed like a
somewhat fatuous idea. "Of course not, Sandy. Here, let me show you."
Pat took her hand off Sandy s shoulder and moved it to her leg as she
drew her attention to the computer. "Now, what you re doing is going
for the catch phrase first. What I do is start out by writing out the
rest of the ad. Then, when I m done with that, the hook line just seems
obvious." She gave Sandy s leg a light squeeze. "Got that?" "I
guess," Sandy said with some apprehension.

"Great!" Pat squeezed again, then looked Sandy in the eyes. "Sandy,
how about if I meet you here at five, and we ll work on this then?"
Sandy was suddenly conscious of Pat s hand on her leg. Pat had always
been a good friend and confidant, but Sandy had never fantasized about
her. At least, not often. She met Pat s gaze and said "Sure. I ll try
writing up the ad this afternoon, and I ll meet you at quitting time.
OK?" "It s a date!" Pat said, and got up.

By the end of the day, Sandy had gone through several attempts at
writing her ad, and they all came out sounding wrong. No matter what
she wrote, her copy seemed to have a mundane character that was
impervious to amelioration. Pat s work always seemed to reach out and
grab you Sandy s just sat there lethargically on the screen.

The frustration was making Sandy irascible, and by the time Pam poked
her head around the door, Sandy was letting her anger out on an innocent
memo. Sandy turned to see Pam, and snapped "Come in, I m still trying
to write this dumb ad. I hate it." Pam pulled up a chair behind Sandy
and placed her hands on Sandy s shoulders. As she started to give Sandy
a backrub, Pam silently read the copy on the screen.

When she was finished, Pam leaned forward until her mouth was next to
Sandy s ear. "Sandy?" "Yes?" "Do you mind if I make a suggestion?"
"Go ahead." Sandy s voice was flat and uncaring as she rocked against
Pam s hands. Pam continued. "Well, what I think you need to do is look
at your choice of words."

"What s wrong with my choice of words?" Sandy s eyes were closed now,
enjoying Pam s hands on her shoulders. Pam seemed to know exactly where
Sandy was tense, and which muscles to constrict to relieve these
tensions. Sandy could feel herself beginning to relax as Pam spoke.
"Well, you see where it says that Crayford has been in the business for
thirty years? " "Yeah?" "Well, you can change your wording, so that it
sounds sexier." Pam s hands left Sandy s shoulders and slid up her
neck, slowly squeezing the tendons at the base of her skull. Sandy was
still lost. "How can it sound sexier?" Pam thought for a second. "Why
not say, Crayford has been going strong for thirty years ? It makes
them sound better in bed. More manly." Pam s hands slowly started down
the middle of Sandy s back, pressing softly into each vertebra.

Sandy had to admit, it did sound better. She highlighted the text and
typed in the change. Pam spotted another fix. "Second sentence, second
paragraph. The new Corlex line dominates the competition. " "That s a
good one." Sandy said as she made the change. "I see one, Pam. Right
here. With it s faster speed, the Corlex presents a stiff challenge
for the workplace environment. " Pam lit up. "That s right! You re
getting it." Pat spread out her hands and worked at Sandy s sides.
"Try another."

Sandy looked over her copy, feeling more confidant already. There: she
could change more efficient to stronger . And here: instead of The
Corlex is waterproof she could say You can use the Corlex anytime,
anywhere . As Sandy worked through her ad with renewed zest, she barely
noticed Pat s hands as they strayed over her body.

"Wait!" Pam s hands jerked, and Sandy was surprised to find that they
were now located just beneath her breasts. "What is it?" Sandy asked,
her chest heaving from the surprise, and the intimacy of Pam s hands.

"You just said that Crayford has always finished one step ahead of the
rest." "Yeah?" "Well, you don t want to imply they re premature, do
you?" "I didn t mean it that way, I meant " Pam caressed Sandy s lower
ribs softly, silencing her. "What you want to do is get the customer
more credulous, not turn him off. Okay?" "Okay."

Sandy went back to work, and Pam continued to get more intimate with
Sandy s body. Sandy knew she should say something, but it felt too good
for her to tell Pam to stop. Pam leaned forward, and cupped Sandy s
breasts in her hands. Sandy let out a soft moan, and stopped typing.
Pam put her mouth next to Sandy s ear, and breathed, "Why don t we put
that aside, and take a little break?"

Sandy could only nod her head yes as Pam undid the buttons on her
blouse. When Sandy s blouse was half open, Pam slid a hand under the
silk to squeeze her soft globes. Sandy threw her head back and relaxed,
giving herself over to the hedonism. Pam slid a tongue into her ear,
and started whispering to Sandy all the little dreams she d had about
this moment.

"I ve wanted to lay you back, and touch you everywhere. I ve thought
about your tongue, and how much I wanted to feel it on my pussy. Will
you tongue my clit for me, Sandy?" Sandy could only nod, a slight smile
on her face as she imagined Pam s taste and smell. Pam rolled her chair
around, and their lips met and parted. Sandy s tongue caressed Pam s as
they explored each others mouths. Pam slid her hand down Sandy s body,
and undid the clasp on her slacks. Snaking her hand under the elastic
band, she rubbed a finger over Sandy s slick mound. When Sandy felt
this, she went rigid with pleasure, moaning into Pat s mouth when Pat
pressed against her button. Pat played with Sandy s clitoris for a few
minutes, bringing her to the brink of orgasm, then taking her hand away
for the dilatory pleasure of it. Sandy whined at her, begging Pat to
let her come.

"Not yet. I want you to taste me first." Sandy looked reluctant. "I
ve never done that before. I won t know how." "It s easy," Pat said as
she undid her dress. All you have to do is kiss me." Pat pulled Sandy
out of the chair and laid her down on the floor of the cube. Putting
her knees on either side of Sandy s head, she knelt over her body and
undid her slacks. She pulled the slacks down to expose Sandy s auburn
bush, then dipped her head forward as she lowered her cleft toward her
lover s face.

Sandy was apprehensive as she saw Pat s vagina coming towards her, but
as she felt Pat start to lick her, the intense pleasure that ran through
her nerves cleared away her inhibitions. She took a tentative lick, and
found Pat s fluids warm and musty, not at all egregious. Best of all,
she could feel Pat twitch slightly when she licked, and she enjoyed the
power she got from it.

Both women laid on the floor, head to tail, as they licked and stroked
each other s pussy. Pat gasped as Sandy learned to flick her clit
quickly with her tongue, and soon came with a shudder from the
attention. As she came down from the climax, she went back to Sandy s
slit with renewed fervor. Sandy, whose orgasm was already incipient,
came within a few seconds of Pat s assault.

As she basked in the afterglow of her first lesbian climax, Sandy turned
to her tutor and said "So what words do you need to use to sell to


Cindy blithely flounced her way home from school, her red and white
cheerleader s skirt flapping up to reveal her unusually brief red
panties. It had been a good day for her. Today she d been more
prolific than ever: she d flashed her panties at five boys, and Mr.
Hubble in her Geometry class! It was so fun to tease them like that.
She liked to see the reactions on their faces when she bent down in
front of them to retrieve a book she had dropped. But she wouldn t let
them touch. Oh no. Cindy was a good girl, and she didn t do that kind
of thing with boys.

As she rounded a corner, she almost ran into Mark. Cindy recoiled with
disgust. Mark was one of those mundane geeks, and she didn t like the
way he looked at her when he was around. He was so vile, she probably
wouldn t even flash her panties at him! Cindy imperviously stepped
aside to try and pass him, but Mark stepped with her. "Not so fast,
little girl," he said in a low voice. "I ve got some business I d like
to discuss with you."

Cindy screwed up her face in a petite pout and said "You don t have any
business with me, Mark Cody! I m going home!" Mark gave the fatuous
girl a mean look and said "Oh yeah? Well floodlegazoom! Show me your
panties!" Cindy started to object, but suddenly her entire body felt
heavier and sluggish, like she had been submerged in a vat of molasses.
>From far away, she sensed her right hand reaching down and pulling up
her skirt. What was she doing? She never wanted to show Mark her
panties! She tried to stop her egregious hands, and found that she
couldn t.

Mark watched the nubile teenager pull up her skirt in front of him and
thought "Hot Damn! That ancient book the old gypsy sold me really
works!" He was beside himself with glee. He thought for a second, then
said "Okay Cindy, gab-zub! Follow me home!" He started to walk away,
and was pleased when he saw Cindy take an awkward step to start after
him. This was going to be fun.

When they arrived at Mark s house, he made Cindy follow him down into
the basement. Cindy didn t want to go, but Mark shouted another word at
her, and she found herself obediently descending the steps in front of
him. Mark made her sit down, then said "Cindy, kreck. Sit still." She
immediately went rigid, and Mark put out his hand and began to squeeze
her breast. Whenever she masturbated, Cindy had always imagined what it
would be like for a boy to feel her up. Now, as she felt Mark s hand
grab her tit, she bit back the tears as she sat helpless, unable to stop
him. Mark lifted her powerless arms and pulled the short cheerleading
shirt off her body. When he unfastened her bra, her big breasts bounced
free and pushed the fabric to the sides.

Mark stepped back, impressed at his work. Cindy remained motionless,
but glared at him with flinty eyes. Now that he had her at his mercy,
his mind was overflowing with ideas. Quickly he undid his pants and
pulled them down to reveal an 8-inch slab of dick. Pushing it into
Cindy s face, he said. "Dorklegleeb, Cindy. Suck my cock."

The pretty schoolgirl looked up at him with a hateful look, but the look
turned to surprise as she involuntarily pressed her mouth into his belly
button and blew hard, making a loud raspberry. Mark stepped back in
shock. That wasn t supposed to happen! Wasn t Dorklegleeb the right
word? "Uh, kreck, Cindy. Hold on a minute."

He ran upstairs, leaving Cindy to wonder what had just happened. She
really hadn t wanted to suck Mark s dick, but when he said that word, it
seemed like she was drawn to something. She was relieved when she
found that the urge passed once she blew in his belly button. If only
she had some way to ameliorate that horrible urge! She was moping in
her misery when Mark returned with a grin, holding an old dusty book in
one hand.

He put the tome on a nearby table and said "All right, no more mistakes.
Durklegleeb, Cindy. Suck my cock!" No sooner had the words left his
mouth then Cindy s head shot forward and her lips clamped around the
base of his member. Her eyes were squeezed shut in disgust as she
bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sliding her tongue over the
pulsing veins. Against her will, she relaxed her throat, and took him
all in, constricting her lips and sucking hard at the base of his shaft.
Mark closed his eyes and smiled as his unwilling lover gave him a
magnificent blowjob. He could feel his come rising, and almost pulled
out, then decided to stay in her and give her a little surprise.
Holding her head in his hands, he pushed his dick deeper into her mouth,
then let forth a blast of semen. Cindy s throat muscles worked
automatically, pulling his come down her throat.

Mark waited for Cindy to suck the last traces of come from his penis,
then pulled out of her mouth, satisfied. Cindy gave him an acerbic
look, but said nothing as he wiped himself off on the sleeve of her
cheerleader s outfit. As he zipped himself up, he smiled at the girl
and said "I hope you liked that as much as I did. You ll be doing a lot
more of it soon enough." "You ll never see me again, Mark!" Cindy shot
back in an irascible bark. Her reaction didn t faze the boy, but
instead a wide grin spread across his face. He leaned down next to her
and said "Corlecka, Cindy. Listen to me."

Cindy s eyes instantly went from spiteful to lethargic, then closed as
the nubile vixen assuaged herself and turned her complete attention to
what Mark was saying.

"Now Cindy, I want you to forget everything that has happened to you
since you first met me coming home from school. Instead of coming with
me, you went home and watched television for a few hours. Tell me what
you did, Cindy."

"I went home and watched television for a few hours." Cindy spoke in a
low voice, completely credulous of everything Mark was telling her.

"Right. Now, who did you flash your panties to today?"

"Five boys. And Mr. Hubble."

"Excellent. Tomorrow I want you to flash your panties to six boys, and
Mrs. Laskin." Cindy squirmed a little as he spoke, but Mark overrode
her. "Cindy, If you do not do this, I shall make you flash without
panties. Do you want that?" After a dilatory pause, she shook her head
no. "Right, then you ll do it. Now run along, and as soon as you get
home, I want you to think that you went straight home from school, and
never stopped here on the way." Mark knew it was redundant to say this,
but he wanted to take no chances.

Cindy spoke again. "I went home and watched television for a few

"Exactly. And Cindy, tomorrow I want you to go by my house again on the
way home. Gerflank, Cindy. Go." The pretty blond teenager stood up
and slowly climbed the basement steps to leave the house. After he
heard her shut the door, Mark ran up the steps and looked outside the
window. Cindy walked slowly away from his house, then shook her head,
cleared her eyes a bit, and flounced away, back to her apocryphal life.

Mark grinned to himself. So far, he was only a novice at using the
book, but he was more adept at its subtleties every day. He thought of
how he had gotten Cindy to suck his cock today, and felt that it was a
big step up from the hand job she had given yesterday. With the
luscious cheerleader under his control, the incipient potential for
unrestrained hedonism was growing stronger every day. The guile of
making her forget what she did ensured that she would never tell anyone
who would stop him from using her.

His head spinning with possibilities, Mark returned to the basement and
pored through the book, practicing new words which he could inflict upon
Cindy tomorrow.


" Looking up at me with a sexy smile, Tiffanie said "I ve just got to
have your hot polish sausage buried in my creamy cunt!" Her words drove
me beyond the point of all control, and I picked up her 5 5", 105 pound,
36C-20-36 body, spun it around, and planted it on my foot-long frank.
As soon as she felt my rigid rod invade her honeyed hole, she clenched
her cunt and came with an orgasmic scream of glee "

"Kurt?" Kurt s head shot up. Why was he called on? He hadn t been
making any noise! From the front of the room, the study hall teacher
fixed him with a steady gaze. "What are you reading?"

Kurt held up the study guide, with the magazine carefully placed along
the inside, away from her gaze. "I m just working on vocabulary for the
SAT, ma am." He wanted the words to come out smoothly, but he stumbled
a little as he spoke, and he could feel his face getting hot. He had
intentionally chosen the back corner of the room so that he would be
able to read the mag without being seen by anyone else. How had she
known what he was really doing?

Too experienced to be credulous, the teacher came walking towards him.
Suddenly Kurt realized the problem: He had relaxed his fingers, and the
study guide had slipped down, exposing the colorful top edge of the
magazine for all to see. Kurt s heart stopped. He was doomed! His
parents were going to be called about this, and he would get grounded
for life! He would be the embarrassment of the school! Three rows up,
Kurt s number-one crush Sheila Hawkins looked back to see what was going
on. When he saw her eyes widen with recognition, he was devastated. She
saw him see her, and whipped her head back around as the Study Hall
teacher came up the aisle.

She stood by his desk and looked down at him, glass-framed eyes peering
over large bosoms that Kurt had absolutely no interest in at the moment.
"May I see, please?" She held out her hand for the study guide that
Kurt had closed on his desk. Numbly he placed it in her hand. The
teacher picked up the nested guide and magazine, and quickly opened them
up. Kurt noticed that she still kept the porn magazine hidden from the
rest of the class behind the study guide. She flipped through it for a
few seconds, then looked back at Kurt.

"Well, Kurt, I really don t think that anything in this is going to help
your vocabulary much. Do you?" Kurt hung his head. "No ma am." Her
eyes bore into his skull. "And in Study Hall, your job is to work on
academic matters, not outside pursuits. Am I correct?" "Yes, ma am."
Why was she tormenting him like this? "Well, Kurt, in that case I ll
have to take this " Kurt heard her remove the magazine from the guide,
but by the time he d whipped his head up she d adeptly rolled it into an
unidentifiable tube-- "and leave you with this." She placed the study
guide back down on the table and walked back to the desk. All eyes in
the classroom were trying to discern exactly what had been confiscated
from Kurt, but the magazine was too tightly rolled for any chance of
identification. As she arrived at the desk, the teacher looked back and
said, "I ll see you in my office after school, Kurt."

Standing behind the desk, she placed the magazine in a drawer and gave
the entire class an impervious stare. "I suggest you all get back to
work. I didn t do this for your amusement you know." As they realized
that the identity of the contraband was not to be revealed, Kurt s
classmates slowly turned back to their own work. Kurt sat at his desk,
trying to make himself as small as possible behind the study guide. The
guide itself was no good. Vocabulary was Kurt s weak point, and all the
guide did was show him a huge list of words that *could* be on the SAT.
It gave him no helpful suggestions or shortcuts like it did in the
reading comprehension section. Now, after the embarrassment he had just
received, he couldn t concentrate at all. He sat there in a lethargy,
staring at the wall of words in front of him, seeing no possibility of
remembering any of them.

Three hours later, he was standing in front of her desk, waiting for the
speech on the evils of dirty magazines. "Sit down, Kurt." Kurt pulled
up a desk from one of the rows behind him, and warily slid into it. As
he did this, the teacher reached behind her head and undid her hair from
its mundane bun. Looking at Mrs. 801 this way, it occurred to him that
his Study Hall teacher was actually a very attractive woman. With her
hair unbound, it traced its way over her shoulders and down her back in
a way that made him want to stroke it. He looked in her eyes, and
instead of seeing the hard glare of authority, he saw a softer look of
someone who was put in the uncomfortable position of punishing someone.
Actually, Mrs. 801 looked pretty sexy, for her age. She had to be at
least ten years older than his own mother, yet she retained her womanly
figure, with large supple breasts and a narrow waist. Kurt found
himself wondering if she had ever done any of the things described in
the magazine, and discovered that he was beginning to develop an

"Now, Kurt. Why were you reading this," she held the magazine up from
her desk, "when you should have been studying your vocabulary." Kurt
wriggled a little in the cramped desk, stammering for the right words as
he attempted to conceal his growing bulge. "Well, I It s like It s just
It s just that I can t get anything out of that study guide. Here,
look." He pulled the study guide from his bag and opened it to the
vocabulary page. "All it does is give you this huge number of words and
tell you to memorize them. I can t memorize all these! It s no use!
At least I can understand what s in there." Kurt aimed an irascible eye
at the magazine.

Mrs. 801 thought for a moment, then said, "There are other ways of
memorizing words, you know. Why don t you look up the definitions, then
incorporate each of the words into a sentence? That would be better
than just rote memorization." Kurt nodded his head. "Yes, Mrs. 801."
The teacher gave him an acerbic glance, then looked away for a second.
When she looked back, she had an unusual expression on her face. She
leaned forward and looked Kurt in the eye. Kurt could smell a faint
perfume on her, and had to restrain himself from looking down her

"Now Kurt, I am not a person who is against hedonism, but I can t have
my students blithely reading things like this in my study hall, no
matter how they try to hide it. It just doesn t work. Now what s
usually done in this situation is that I confiscate this magazine and
make a call to your parents to tell them of what you ve done." Kurt s
heart sank. She was going to tell after all. "However, in this case I
think we can work out a different solution." Kurt looked up. He was
willing to do anything to keep his parents from finding out! His mind
whirled as he tried to guess what his sexy teacher wanted for her

Mrs. 801 picked up the magazine again and idly thumbed through it.
"While I was waiting for you, Kurt, I took the opportunity to read some
of the stories in this magazine." Kurt s boner swelled. She *did* want
to do it with him! His erection assuaged as she went on. "Reading
through these stories, I was surprised at the generally egregious
quality of writing in them. They aren t even close to erotic. The
editors seem to be more interested in being prolific than in genuine
quality or plot. Did you notice that too?" Kurt nodded, but inside he
was confused. What was she getting at?

What she said next almost made him fall out of her chair. Mrs. 801
closed the magazine, then picked up her purse and began to fumble about
in it. "Now Kurt, you know that I m an English teacher, but I also have
activities that are outside of the school curriculum. I act as kind of
a critic for a forum on the Internet. This forum is dedicated to
stories of the kind found in your magazine, but usually they are of much
better quality."

Kurt was stunned. "You mean, like, sex stories?" Mrs. 801 gave him a
warm smile, and said, "Yes, Kurt. Exactly." He couldn t believe it.
Imagining his teacher reading the magazine was already too much for him.
Now he found that she not only read these stories, but critiqued them as
well! A glimmer of hope went through him as he realized that the
teacher might not call his parents or write a report on his reading the
magazine. After all, she did the same thing, didn t she?

Mrs. 801 pulled a key from her purse, and unlocked one of her desk
drawers as she continued. "Recently, I presented a kind of contest to
the forum, to find out who could write the best story given a particular
constraint. Ten of these stories were submitted to me, and I printed
them out for easier reading." She pulled a small stack of paper from
the drawer and placed it on the desk. "I have already read and ranked
these stories on my own scale, but I think that in this case, it would
help to be redundant." Looking at Kurt over her glasses, she pushed the
stack towards him. "If you can read these stories, rank them, and just
write a couple of sentences on each one, defending your rank, you can go
home, and I won t report you or call your parents. Does that seem

Kurt nodded his head quickly, eager to ameliorate his situation before
she changed her mind. "That sounds great, Mrs. 801. When should I
start?" "You can start right now, Kurt. I need to go to a teacher s
meeting, but I should be back in two hours. If you have the stories
graded by then, you can go. Otherwise, I won t really have any choice
but to take the usual route. OK?" Kurt reached for the stack of papers
as she headed for the door. Suddenly something occurred to him. "Mrs.
801?" She paused in the doorway and looked back at him, eyes shining.
"Yes, Kurt?" "What was the constraint?" She gave him a quick smile and
said, "Oh, nothing that really matters. You ll see." With that she
closed the door, and Kurt heard her key turn in the lock. Kurt
stiffened, but realized that Mrs. 801 probably didn t want anyone coming
in and seeing what she was having her students do.

Hard-on raging, he pulled the first story off the stack and began to

"Of all my ribald experiences, the most retentious is a chronicle of my
dalliance with the contralto of my local church choir ."

Kurt stopped reading for a second and rubbed his eyes. He couldn t
understand any of that sentence. Maybe it would become clearer later
on. He struggled through the story, trying to find the sex part.

" Her body quavered and her resonant voice ululated as I thrust my
adamant spar into her pyrexic stope "

Was that it? He couldn t even tell. He put the story down and searched
the room for a dictionary. The bookshelves were filled with grammar
books, books on format, biographies, textbooks and great works, but no
dictionaries. Not even a thesaurus. He thought about going to the
school library to find one, but remembered that the door was locked.
His throat constricted, and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead
as he realized the apocryphal nature of Mrs. 801 s "compromise". She
had never intended to let him off easy, it was just a dilatory guile to
prolong his agony! How could he have been so fatuous? He cursed his
teacher s ruthlessness, but he realized that reading the confusing
stories was the only way to put off his incipient humiliation. Wearily,
he picked up the next story and began to read.

"My latest inamorata is not only blessed with flaxen hair and a
pneumatic soma, but in spirit she is also a quintessential libertine.
Rarely can I contemplate a lecherous thought that has not already been
assessed by her fescennine psyche. One forenoon, we were juxtaposed
atop her divan when a rap on the portal proclaimed the arrival of one of
her cognates. For most, this would mean the quashing of our prurient
bivouac, but for my roué, it was only an incitement to further
licentiousness ."

"It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they
had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared
to be great."
-Havelock Ellis
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