| Title: Of Pain And Pleasure
Keywords: mf, rom
There was a of Ostend
Who let a play with his end.
She took hold of Rover,
And felt it all over,
And it did what she didn't intend.
Of Pain and Pleasure
by Caesar, Copyright 1999-2002
$Revision: 1.7 $ $Date: 2002/04/15 14:07:26 $
The blue-gray glow of the moon came through the wide window of the
trains semi-private cabin and illuminated all within. I sat staring
out, my thoughts lost in an ethereal plain with barely a thread of
consciousness linking me to my berth.
So distant was I that it took the steward several tries till he was
able to get a response. "Sir?" I turned my head, as I had been
gazing directly at the bright moon, towards the gentleman in the
well manicured uniform. "Sir, Madam needs a quiet place for the
remainder of the evening. Could she impose upon you sir?"
What? I shook my head to clear it and heard him ask the same question
yet again. I was just about to grunt a negative response when a pale
gentle face of the lady behind the steward was seen for the briefest
of time. Instead of my prepared response, I nodded and turned back to
"Thank you sir." The steward was talking in a near mumble beyond the
door and I only heard the final, "if you need anything Madam, please
do no hesitate to ring for me."
"Thank you Bernard." Evidently the steward had a name, I could care
The door to my cabin closed and the lady sat across from me upon the
other bench. I felt her eyes upon my face as I tried to return to my
ethereal thoughts, unsuccessfully.
"Thank you sir, for sharing your cabin." I never even acknowledged
her. "My and his make their cabin unbearable." She
chuckled slightly, "Bernard knew my predicament and took pity upon
The train was passing quick groomed orchards of trees, apple trees I
believe, and every few seconds the moon was as we passed. Far
up a bird, hawk probably, few in lazy circles searching for prey. I
felt as if I was the prey, here on earth waiting for the rapid descent
of the hunter.
My thoughts, again devoid of my location and setting when I was again
interrupted by the lady.
Her scent, it was delicious. Like spring, with the freshness of life
and colours exploding. It irritated me.
All I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts and she chooses to
interrupt me insistently. Of course I need not had agreed to share my
semi-private cabin, though I only paid for one seat. What was it,
that caused me to agree to this intrusion into my privacy?
With my eyes unblinking and never turning away from that glorious
moon, I wondered what in that briefest of views caused me to allow the
lady into my life. She was attractive, to be sure. With pale white
skin, smooth and fresh looking even in the pale light of the train
passageway. Nothing else I saw of her, to gain a better understanding
why this woman was allowed to bother me in such a low point in my
life. She was probably slightly than I, in her thirties to be
sure. Perhaps it was her eyes, they contained intelligence and
I realized that she had not turned down the bunk and lay upon the
uncomfortable bed to sleep the rest of her night. Again I pulled my
gaze from the comforting moon and turned to look upon her. I found
her smiling gently, compassionately. With her eyes looking softly
into my own.
I quickly pulled my eyes from hers and returned to the bright moon.
Yet my thoughts were upon her rather than in the ether. I was getting
heated and realized it was those eyes, I did not want her compassion.
I did not need it.
Indeed, I wanted to wallow in my own grief and not allow some stranger
to draw it out of me.
"I am a school teacher back at home." Her voice was low, almost raspy
but had a seductive tone to it. I had guessed right, what else would
a woman with intelligence do in this day and age? "And when I'm at
home and wanted to be alone I would go out to this small stream that
was completely surrounded by trees and just sit." Why was she talking
to me? Whatever possessed me to allow her into my life?
I was no longer seeing the moon though I looked right at it, I turned
back to her. She smiled as before, gently. She continued, "Once when
I was just sitting and listening to the natural sounds around me, in
my private spot, an acorn fell from the tree and hit me upon the
head." Again that small feminine chuckle, she had a sense of humour
this woman did, it fit her mischievous smile. "It did not but it
did startle me from my thoughts. I looked up and was surprised to see
a small squirrel staring down at me."
"The little beasties seemed to be smiling at me and I knew he had
dropped it on purpose. At first I was very angry, to be interrupted.
But as I sat cursing up at that tiny beast I realized how ridicules it
all seemed and began to laugh most heartedly." She set aside her hand
bag and pulled her arms from her fall jacket. I caught a glint of
gold and saw the band wrapped about her third finger on her left hand.
"The reasons that drove me to my private spot were all insignificant
to that squirrel as I realized the little monster was preparing
another acorn to drop down upon me. I jumped up and thanked the wise
little and returned home."
Her mouth stopped moving, and it was a rather sensuous mouth, it was
her eyes that spoke to me. As if they wondered if I understood the
story or if it had been lost upon me.
I smiled, none too successfully I may add, and tried to turn back to
gaze out the window. For some reason I couldn't, and my face turned
back to the woman across from me. "Thank you Madam." Though I was
sure she be half-crazed especially after a like that.
She smiled softly, "Your very welcome sir."
I understood her words but did not really understand her meaning. I
was also in no mood to be preached. Instead I stood and folded down
my bench and then crawled upon it to feign sleep, anxious to again be
alone with my thoughts. Instead I replayed the lady's over and
over while my minds eye studied the teller in minute detail.
It had been days since I had slept and though I should not have been
surprised, I was when I came awake and realized that I had slept. My
eyes opened to the still dark room with the moonlight illuminating
all. A hand was brushing my brow and cheek and I felt a breath upon
the other. The scent of her was stronger, overpowering in its
attractiveness. I suddenly realized she was seated upon the floor
next to me, rubbing my face with her warm elf-like hands.
I bolted up and away from her.
She looked sad, anxious and even desperate. Almost as if this was a
different woman than the one whom had told me the earlier. She
made no apologies nor a sound as she ascended upon her knees before
I watched stunned and violated as her bright eyes came towards my own
and those full lips closer to me. I suddenly wanted her with a
passion that I had not felt for many a moon. Seductress or simply a
woman as desperate as I, I knew not. When my face moved forwards and
tilted to the side, she did the same and we met in the middle.
It wasn't the most perfect of kisses. In fact it was awkward and
misplaced. Yet it was warm, hungry and with the promise of much more
I reached out and took her small face in both my hands and held her
steady as my lips again moved in. I tilted her as my mouth came into
contact, this kiss much better than the last. The next kiss I opened
my mouth and she followed suit, a groan of need from her echoed my own
She pressed her hips against the edge of the bunk and her upper torso
against my body, I felt her small point into my chest and that
brought a new heat to my loins. My mouth began to attack her own and
as my tongue began to violate her. She not only allowed me to do
this, when I paused for breath, her tongue came out of her mouth and
slide passed my lips.
Definitely not a spinster unknown to the ways of men, yet a woman with
a probably as deep as my own. One that she was able to hide
better than I, I may add. Beyond all this, a desire for love, both
physical and emotional as we had both been starving for far too long.
I felt her tiny hands between us and realized she was attempting to
withdraw my manhood. The hunger of the woman again surprised me, I
had not ever been with one so aggressive with her passion, though I
found no fault in it to be sure.
Gently I pushed her away from me and she sat back upon her heels and
watched me with doe-like eyes. My hands came up and grasped both her
small firmly, the small nipples throbbing into my palms, as
she allowed her head to fall back and groaned loudly and with a firm
I turned towards the door and found it locked, the little mink had
locked us in our own world. Our privacy was now assured while we
stayed in this small cabin.
She had a thin long neck without blemish, and I lunged forwards to
bite it gently. A girlish giggle escaped from her. I sat back and
stared into her eyes.
We shared much in that brief look. I understood that she was in pain,
possibly as much as I, and needed this... this communion of
like-souls. In that short time something overtook me and I felt more
love and desire for this unknown woman than I had ever felt in my
life. I felt the need to protect her from the savage world, if only
for the time we shared upon the train. I also felt a heated passion
that had never ever been felt in such intensity before. I wanted this
stranger, I needed her with a longing that was physical in its
Again her hands moved to my crotch to fumble with the buttons upon my
woolen trousers, I pushed them away. "Strip!" It wasn't a request,
but a command that originated from some unknown place within me. A
place that needed pain, lust and love to emerge. It was a foreign
feeling, this inner desire to dominate this stranger and I knew not
how she would take it.
She stared again deeply in my eyes as if assessing me, assuring
herself of her trust in me. At some point she must have come to a
conclusion as she moved backwards, slowly stood and then began to
Her eyes watched me as I watched her. The bindings about her quickly
discarded and thrown upon the bench across from me. Her nudity
foreign in this small cabin and the pale moonlight illuminated her
like a gray-skinned angel of desire. Her final undergarments fell to
the floor and she stood before in all her glory.
She was nervous, I could tell that. She was also very excited, I
could tell that also.
This angel without a name stood shivering in the cool room as this assessed her. Did she wonder how I would find her physically
appealing? No fear there, her fine limbs, small ankles and waist,
exciting hourglass hips, tiny but inviting all urging me
towards her. How does a woman give her trust to an unknown man; a whom had only been rude and one that had barely acknowledged her?
I motioned for her to return to her spot before me, she did nearly too
quickly in her haste. I caught brief glimpse of her trembling hands
and felt renewed kinship with her as I sought them out with my own.
Holding her hands in my own I bent forwards and kissed her. Not the
initial awkward kisses as we earlier shared, nor the hungry desperate
ones from earlier. This time my kisses contained love, patience and
respect. I kissed her like a woman should be kissed, slowly with
lingering love upon each touch.
Even as my kisses became more intense and my mouth opened to again
allow her tongue to enter me, I moved her hands down between us and
helped her with the buttons of my trousers.
When first she grasped my escaped manhood with both her tiny hands we
both let out a gasp of pleasure.
My hands moved to again hold her tiny head and with but a brief look I
firmly pushed her down towards my lap. Her eyes looked nervous,
scared but a soft kiss upon her brow relaxed her. I felt her mouth
engulfed me in a warm wet soft world as her hands explored.
Her initial movements were forced, yet very soon she relaxed and I
felt her tongue fondle the head of my manhood with a familiarity that
it has never had, as well as massage my length with her lips. It was
as pleasurable a feeling that I could not remember feeling before.
Soon, when her movements became slow and passionate, that I knew she
felt as I. Love and passion a mix that I had never felt before. One
that wanted to give pleasure as well as receive it.
I tried to pull her face from my lap and she resisted but I was
firmer. Her desire-filled eyes came up and I looked down at her
saliva covered lips and jaw as she whispered, "Please!" How could I
disagree with that? I released her and she smiled in acknowledgement
as she again descended. This time I did not hold back and knew she
would soon find her work complete.
I felt the familiar tension between my legs and knew it was only
seconds away. The lady pulled her mouth from me and smiled quickly
before covering the head of my manhood with her lips and her hands
rubbed up and down my shaft.
It was too much, it had been too long since I had been close with a
woman, and it had never felt this pleasurable before. I groaned aloud
as my manhood erupted into the hungry mouth before me and she
The "lady" actually hummed with the pleasure of my taste as I am sure
I flooded her mouth and tongue as she gulped loudly to keep up with my
She had stopped the movements of her head and simply swallowed for the
stretch of time that I continued to expel my life giving fluid. Yet
she did not disengage when I felt the last of my strength leave me and
there was no more tribute to give. Instead she for a moment
longer and then began to lap at my manhood with tiny delicate licks,
as if she was anxious not to miss a drop.
It was possibly the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.
It was over. I was finished.
Deep inside me that demon that tore at my soul could not advance
against the new strength in my heart that this woman gave me. My body
may be spent but my resolve was not.
Still licking me I lifted her face by gently lifting her head with
both of my hands. This woman stared at me with wide near innocent
eyes, she trusted me impeccably. Its a look I've not ever seen from a
woman before, and I knew I rather enjoyed it.
Kneeling there in that position I was able to lean forwards to bring
my lips to her own. She groaned when my tongue licked at her saliva
covered full lips. My hand slipped down before her and I felt the
coarse kinky hairs between her legs that invited my search. Her soft
warm smooth thighs touched the edge of my hand and seemed to hold me
between them as if this divide was a perfect fit for my strong hand.
Her love crevice was open with pleasure, and when my fingers touched
her, her lips slipped from my own and her head fell upon my shoulders
with a sigh. A finger slipped effortlessly into that fiery furnace
and this woman bit my shoulder gently with pent up desire.
I moved my finger in such a way that it mimicked a tiny within her
and by her reactions she enjoyed it immensely. Though it was when I
withdrew my very wet finger and lifted it to the hard throbbing fold
of skin at the top of her crevice, was when a full reaction was shown.
This woman's muscles quivered, clenched and then relaxed as she pushed
her pelvis against my hand. She began to place delightful small
kisses upon my neck and shoulder even as her mouth gasped and groaned
I would alternate, rotating and tickling her button to frigging a
single finger within her. Again and again, as the moon illuminated
her with a sexy glow, she began to whisper into my ear, "please". I'm
not sure what she was asking but I knew that my actions were doing no
With her body now glistening in the moonlight from the light film of
sweat upon her pale skin the sounds she was making movements that told
me she was not long before her own sexual junction came upon us. The
sounds of her body and sighs of passion was getting louder, with the
intimate sound of my diving finger echoing that word that now came out
Finally, after frigging within her sexy folds for nearly the last two
minutes, I returned it to her hyper-sensitive upper cleft. It was
enough to set her off upon that pleasurable path that was a delight
and honour to set her upon.
It was over and she had collapsed upon me.
Her sweaty warm skin stuck to my clothing as her exhaustion caused her
limbs to hang lifeless. I felt a moisture slipping down from where
her face rested upon my shoulder and upon turning discovered that she
was crying silently. I thought it prudent to not ask, if only that it
would break the magic of that moment.
Tired, spent and sweaty she did not resist when I lifted her gently
and turned to set her upon my bunk. The train did not give an air of
romance or even the simple comfort to lie silently. It mattered not
to either of us. Standing before her I removed my clothing while
watching her watch me.
We both were silent, pleasured in a way that seemed foreign, alien.
The both of us knew it could not last, would not last, though I
certainly desired it so.
Naked her eyes looked astonished at my crotch and my hard thrusting
pole. I slipped next to her in that tiny bunk made for one and felt
my body press against her own. She sought my lips out to give me a
soft gentle kiss even as her hand wrapped around my hardness as if to
squeeze it to assure of its validity.
We both lay upon our sides facing the other and I realized she was
trying to angle my manhood down. I pushed her hand from me and used
my own to complete the manoeuvre, my pole slipped between her slick
thighs and rested just below that wet furnace. Wiggling she pressed
herself firmly against me, her tiny hard nipples pressing into my
chest, as her lips began to move.
I was astonished, the constitution of this woman. I thought her
finished for the evening after the pleasure she had revealed earlier.
My own, as great an enjoyment as it was, I was a whom was with an
exciting woman that pleased me very much. Evidently I had much to
learn about women, in general, and this one specifically.
Her lips slipped to my throat and she gasped open mouthed at the
pleasure from her own movements. As enjoyable it was to feel and
watch this, and I did for many minutes, I eventually could contain
myself no longer. I pressed a hand down upon her hip to still her
Again those wide innocent trusting eyes asked me silently what she may
do for me. I slipped a few inches lower, moved my hips slightly and
pushed firmly upwards with my spear. With eyes open I saw the
pleasure she felt from my sinking, it was like reading a book of this
She loved me at that moment I doubted not, and I knew that I felt in
kind. With our middles pressed together and our tiny hairs linking I
held us like that for several minutes, devouring her wide-eyed gaze.
Then I began to move, slow and determined, the friction delightful.
My body moved and and out of her own and though she tried to keep her
eyes upon me, she could not and closed them with a deep sigh.
She began to pound her hips into my own and I reached over her to
grasp a sexy round buttock in a firm hand. I held her still and
forced her to simply enjoy the pleasure of my movements. She did, as
Knowing what was expected of her, she had trouble holding herself from
moving in unison to my delicate movements, though she was successful.
The sexy woman did straighten out her legs and squeeze them together
that produced a sexy slick vise-like feeling for my manhood. Even
grasping I was able to slip further behind her and fondle that unused
hole. She opened her eyes in surprised and then smiled a far away
delightful look that melted into a open mouth, closed-eye gasp of
pleasure even as my finger slipped into her backside.
Time stood still as I moved within her, both front and back. And
produced such an effect that was exquisite in its erotic power. I was
forcing myself from finishing, not wanting our time to be at an end.
I felt as if she wanted the same and frequently felt a clenching
within her as if she was attempting to hold back the flood of her
Alas, with the erotic power of our joining it was an impossibility.
She looked upon me with a wild lust in her wide-eyed gaze, as if she
could not last much longer and was begging for me to begin the descent
of my summit. That look, as much as the feeling of my body within
her, was what set me off.
The first blast of myself felt like a cannon and she most certainly
felt it. That must be the reason she herself began to squeal and
clench in a desperation that was lewd and wild as she felt her own
wave of energy explode from her midriff.
Again and again I flooded her depths and clenched my body
uncontrollably, my finger and pulsating hardness sinking fully within
her as I jerked again and again. I lost my senses and knew that this
unknown woman was also thrashing upon and before me but knew it only
That summit was soon a thing of the past and I felt her weak limbs
wrap about me with love. With effort I opened my eyes to look upon
her own, as tired or more so than my own I dare say.
I loved her at that moment and I felt it returned in earnest.
My eyes closed on their own violation and sleep overcame me even as I
felt her body close. It was comforting, extremely enjoyable and the
one place that I felt I was meant to be.
The skin of my body was cooking in the warm morning light as the
warning whistle of the train told me of the approaching station. I
opened my eyes and with loss that felt like a limb from my body was
hacked off, I saw that I lay alone. I spun about and realized she was
no longer within my cabin and I was alone.
Quickly, I rushed to get into my clothing, to find the woman that
could only be described as my soul-mate.
Then I stopped with one leg within my trousers and standing comically
within the cabin. The train was slowing down and I knew it would not
be long before we stopped, but I remembered.
At first it was the glistening of that ring upon her finger, she was
married. It was the in her soul that I felt and the loving and
desperate look in her eye. I knew what she was feeling, if not the
particulars, as I felt the same. Then I remembered those last moments
just before falling into a very enjoyable slumber with our limbs
intertwined, no longer was the and pain the most prevalent thing
in my life.
Eventually I laughed softly, "That damn acorn."
I finished getting dressed and collected my belongings to depart the
train. I found Bernard in the tight passageway and addressed him,
"The woman whom shared my cabin last eve, do you happen to know her
He frowned and answered, "A woman sir?"
"The woman whom you brought to my cabin last night?" I felt a sudden
weight upon my heart. "Short reddish hair, cute pale face,
attractive, probably my own age?"
"I'm sorry sir, I brought no one to your cabin last night?" His look
told me volumes, and I let the matter drop much to his pleasure I am
I instructed a porter to gather my belongings as I began to depart the
train and wondered and wished with all my heart that she was real and
that I shall have the chance to again meet with her.
Even as my foot came down upon the dusty wooden step, I looked up into
the clear spring morning and the bright warm sun and smiled.