| Sex Monster From Earth
By Alecia D <email@example.com> for comments
(c) copyright 2002, Alecia D
I got the big bastard and if it turns out to be female, I'll be rich.
Last Easter I made an interesting discovery. There really is an Easter
Bunny. In fact there are thousands of 'em. Yep, when I thought about
it, it had to be. No way one Easter Bunny could get around to see every
kid in the world so I figured there had to be one hell of a lot of them
Me and my ole beagle was hunting squirrel in the back 40. We hadn't
seen shit all day and just about figured on givin' up when we heard a
crashin' in the underbrush. I figured it might be a dear or a boar, and
was looking forward to a big meal. My just went crazy and took off
like greased lightnin' to flush it out. Course I went right after him
with my huntin' rifle ready to go.
Dang, almost filled my pants when I broke into a clearin' and found
myself face to face with a six foot rabbit. I was too close to shoot so
I hit the sucker on the head with my over and under and knocked it flat
on its ass.
At first I figured I was gonna have rabbit stew for a month until I
notice the sucker was wearin' a back back. No shit and the damn thing
was full of candy. I hit the load. The fuckin' Easter Bunny.
First thing that crossed my mind was sellin' pictures to one of them
tabloid magazines or maybe even holdin' the big bunny for ransom. Shit,
Hugh Hefner could be interested in somethin' like this and maybe he'd
fix me up with one of them girls.
Well, it took me awhile to drag the bunny back to my place. Damn thing
had to weigh 300 pounds if he weighed an ounce. Finally made it home
and threw him into one of the empty kennels before sittin' down to
have a couple a slugs of mountain dew.
While I was sippin' my home brew it occurred to me there had to be a
lot these suckers and I could make my fortune if I got myself a
"Excuse me, sir. How long do you intend on keeping me in this filthy
At first I thought it was the whiskey talkin' but then I noticed the
big bunny was standing up and lookin' at me through the bars. This is
even better. A talkin' rabbit's got to be worth a shit load of money
and since I had the only one in the world, well, I was gonna be a rich
"Hello there rabbit. My name is Gadsden and what do your friends call
"The name's Fuzzy and I really wish you could do something about the
smell. When was the last time you fumigated this dump? Smells like
something died and got buried under all the trash."
I just ignored that comment since it was no business of his how I did
my house keepin'.
"What the hell were you doin' out there in the woods, Fuzzy?"
"Once a year we clean out all the garbage from our warren. We found
that the members of your species seem to enjoy eating it." He
gagged some after saying that and took some time to get composed. "We
do our part for ecology and leave our garbage where your little ones
"No shit. You rabbits figure candy is garbage? We'll I'll be. Where do
you get all that garbage from, if I might ask."
"I think it's common knowledge that rabbits are very sexual beings. In
fact we try to fuck every day if we can." Damn thing got a boner when
he was talkin' and didn't even try to cover it up. "Females usually get
pregnant, but if they don't then every 28 days they have their period
and so the garbage."
"No shit, Fuzzy. Those rabbit bleed candy when they have their
period? I'll be gosh darned. Never did hear anything as strange as
It made a lot of sense, though, when I had a chance to think about it.
How else would rabbits end up with enough candy to satisfy all the kids
in the world? A lot of things were fallin' into place and I figured I'm
the guy who could take advantage of 'em.
I was kind of gettin' used to having that rabbit around. Damn smart
animal and one hell of a domino player. Bout the only complaint I had
was all his whinin' about not gettin' laid. Shit. He never did seem to
stop with that one. I guess I should of been bothered by him fuckin'
that head of cabbage all the time, but what was he supposed to do? It
wasn't that manly to give himself hand jobs.
Well as Easter came round again, I figured to kill two birds with one
stone. I was fixin' to get me a female Easter Bunny for Fuzzy to fool
around with and then see if I could raise me a bunch of Easter Bunnies
for sale. I could think of so many uses and figured I'd be rolling in
cash in no time.
First off, I scattered a bunch of toys and crap around the back yard.
Made it look like a passel a kids had to be livin' here. Fixed up a
huntin' blind on the roof cause I didn't figure no rabbits would be
smart enough to know what it was as long as I didn't make no noise and
sprayed myself with rabbit odor.
I'd been sittin' in the blind since midnight and hadn't seen a thing
when I heard some sounds comin' from the trees in the back yard.
Thump, thump, thump.
Hell yes, I knew what that sound was and got my tranquilizer gun ready
to go. That big sucker come crashin' through the bush and hippity
hopped right into my back yard. Easy as could be. I drew a bead on the
big ole rabbit and got it with one shot.
Me and the climbed out of the blind and ran on over to the sleepin'
body. Turned out to be a female all right. Just what I wanted and a
good sized one to boot. Figured she was about five foot seven and maybe
a hundred and seventeen pounds. Nice shaped critter, too.
I got to thinkin' that I hadn't had any sex since my got away a
couple months ago and I was pretty horney. Shit, these rabbits fucked
like bunnies anyhow so probably wouldn't if I got me a piece of
her fluffy tail.
My cock must of had the same idea cause it was tryin' to bust out of my
pants. I finally got my great big ole dick out of my jeans and searched
around for some place to stick it in.
Dang, her was as tight as could be. I hadn't felt anything that
good since my six year seduced me back in '83. I decided to
give her the royal treatment and held off for ninety seconds before
shootin' my load into her wet pussy. Shit. I bet it would even be
better if she wasn't passed out.
While I was thinking how good it was, I noticed my dick was gettin'
hard again. Well, no use deprivin' myself so I rolled her over and got
her ass pointin' up in the air. When I got her butt cheeks spread real
good, I found that little pink spot and kinda jammed my cock right into
her sweet asshole. Could of her I guess but shit a female expects
that sort of thing and I knew it probably didn't bother her all that
After I finished having my time with that darlin' angel, I dragged her
body back to my place. I figured I'd just keep quiet about fuckin' her
and stuff seein' as how Fuzzy might get pissed off and all. Course he'd
be so happy to see a piece of ass that he might not even notice she was
"Look what I got ya here, Fuzzy boy."
"What a babe, Gadsden. Where did you find her?"
He sure was happy when I threw her body into the cage. I was kind of
surprised that he didn't just jump her bones right then, but I guess
rabbits aren't all that civilized and stuff. It didn't take long before
she came to and notice she wasn't deliverin' candy no more.
"Hello sweetie. You're about the finest looking bunny I've ever seen.
What's your name, honey?"
"Well, my name is Flufferette, but my friends all call me Fluffy, big
I don't know where Fuzzy found that silk smoking jacket, ascot and
bottle of Chardonnay. That sure enough had a way with the women and
had her eatin' out of his hand in no time. I liked his style and
figured I might be given' it a try next time my was over. Shit.
Fluffy was givin' him a blow job and he didn't even have to threaten to
kill her or anything.
That was just the start of things. It got a lot better as time went by
and I was really gettin' used to havin' them rabbits around. Seems as
though they were into group sex and swappin' so it was no problem for
me to get piece every now and them. That Fluffy sure enough could
give good head and seemed to like takin' it up the ass real fine. Just
about everything I ever wanted and then some.
Should a figured that good things would come to an end way too soon. I
came back from huntin' a few days after the babies was born and all I
could figure was that one of them babies slipped through the bars and
somehow opened the cage. Every damn one of them rabbits had high tailed
it out of there and was gone without a trace. Damn was still
sleepin' and didn't know shit happened. Never did find out where them
suckers went. Just flat out got away. All I found in the cage was some
tasteless marshmallow and stale
chocolate bunnies. Figure they was sendin' me a message.
So ya see Junior, that's why the Easter Bunny never does come to any
house with rusted out cars parked in the front yard. Figure you're just
gonna have to wait till you grow up and then you can catch a couple of
them bunnies for yer own self. In the meantime why don't you all sneak
into the back yard of one of them rich folks and see what you can do
about getting some candy for us?
By Alecia D <firstname.lastname@example.org> for comments
(c) copyright 2002, Alecia D