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The Little Match Boy gay lit


The Little Match boy by; Chris A. (omicrontheta)

 “The temperature will be in the negative degrees today as yet another
cold front moves in.  Expect blizzard like conditions in the later part of
the day into evening.  Estimated snow fall, one to two feet.”  The weather
report didn’t look good.  What am I going to do, It has been hell already,
wee, actually quite the opposite.  It has been cold, and now…even colder. 
How could I have gotten into this situation, I really don’t remember.  It
was not that long ago.  What only, four years.  I’ve dealt with it, sucks,
but I dealt with it.  But sometimes, I still cannot believe that my family kicked me out.  For a stupid reason too.  Just cus I’m gay, I mean what’s
the big deal with that.  Realistically, what kinda parents kick out their
own child at 17.  My dad could have gone to jail, but I didn’t care then, I
was too distraught.  Current day, I was wondering the streets of New York,
my shoes are nearly gone, and I wear nothing but tossed rags.  Maybe that
is an exaggeration.  But still a traumatic situation.  You may have no idea
what it is like on the streets.  The spaces for shelters fill up quick.  It
is like the law of nature.  The strong survive, the weak perish.  Only I
just won’t perish.  What does that say, I am strong?  Hell no, I am weak. 
Small and weak.  I wouldn’t give to have a family that loves me, someone
that loves me personally, romantically.  Hell, food would be nice.  But I
eat. --  How do I get my food?  What a mystery for a gay guy.  I know, I
feel so bad, used, but what could I do.  I survive.  I need to survive. 
Tonight was no different than any other.  Other than the fact that it was
Christmas Eve.  A season, that passes with only a brisk throught from me. 
I mean, what do I deserve.  Much more than I get, but what could I do about
it.  So I hung around the hood.  At least that’s what I called it.  It was
actually a nice section of town.  There were a few apartments down the
street and businesses down the other side.  All in all a comfortable spot
to be, other than the fact that there were about five of us hanging around
the corners.  I knew the bunch.  Brandon, Kyle, Jacob, and Austin.  Then
there was me, not the youngest, but certainly the one who looks it.  Maybe
that is why I eat the best of all of us, I’ve also seen the most business. 
This comes with a price.  I haven’t been to a doctor in years, but I know
the verdict.  I have something.  Have to.  Sure enough the regulars stared
down the street.  I knew that this night I would get business.  I stepped
out onto the street and held my hand out.  Our signal.  Only the car didn’t
stop it kept going.  In the nick of time I dived out of the way, only to
realize that I lost my shoes in the process. I looked at the remnants of
them as they were run over by the car.  There was nothing left.  I had no
shoes.  My concentration shifted and I noticed my feet, numb.  I called it
a night.  Without shoes, I needed to find a place to stay that was at least
a little dry.  So I started down the street. “Where you goin’,”  I heard
Brandon say.  “You need to eat, don’t you?” “No, I ain’t doin’ this on
Christmas Eve.” “Have it your way.”  He started to hold out his hand, our
signal. So, towards the apartments I went.  It was unintentional, but I
started to look into the window.  There I saw the most depressing thing
that I have ever seen.  Happiness.  I saw, a fat turkey, gravy, potatoes,
and a family.  A father, mother, brother, and sister.  It was cool to see
people so happy.  Then I looked down and saw my own shoeless feet.  I
wasn’t in that house, with the turkey, and other food. I continued down
the street.  A car pulled up to the curb.  “Hey, boy, you available,” a man said as he motioned toward his crotch area.  Suddenly a bright light shone
in the back seet.  There someone sat in clean clothes.  White and she
looked at me slowly shook her head.  “Well?”  The man persisted. “No.”  He
drove off in a flurry.  The lady was gone.  I continued down the street and
saw in another window something that took my breath away.  Two guys, cute
guys were having dinner together.  To the untrained eye, you wouldn’t
suspect.  But I saw, on the table, behind the food one of them had his hand
over the other. I sighed. “Hey, you there!!”  I heard from behind me. I
looked up at the heavens where inches of snow fell.  ‘Please, why me.’ 
“No!!!  I am not available.” “FAG!”  And I heard him drive off.  I turned
to look and saw that same white flash dull in the back seat of a speeding
car.  ‘What the hell.  What the hell.  Bright people in backseats of
pervert’s cars.  Shaking their head no at me.  What the hell.  What are
they, angels?’  I turned into an ally intending to find a place to sleep,
albeit, it isn’t the most comfortable place, it was shelter from the wind. 
I closed my eyes.  There I saw it.  Before my eyelids.  It was the
‘angel.’  I opened them again, yet, he, a he now, was still there. “Who
are you?” I asked. “Your angel.” “Mine?” “Yes, I am your guardian angel.”
I looked around, “How come I haven’t seen you before in my life.” “Because,
you weren’t meant to.” “So, why do I see you now.” “Because you are meant
to.  Let me take you to a place that is nice and safe.”  And the angel
scooped me up and flew off with me calmly  resting in his arms with my head
against his chest. -- The next morning, Christmas morning, Kyle found
nothing but a tattered and torn pair of shoes and in the ally not far away,
the impression of someone, still fresh in the snow. Copyright © 2001 omicrontheta, all rights


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